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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..376377378379380381382..596Next> |
#14608 (236/396) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK |
#14602 (140/302) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp |
#14600 (0/252) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wilik> i'd download the .txt version of the bible
<Wilik> but it might corrupt my computer |
#14596 (9/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+pfk-serv> your married...thats interesting....your constantly downloading porn...i figure you were just like the rest of us...perverts |
#14592 (148/307) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary, but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I was good. |
#14591 (24/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;) |
#14589 (115/257) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+CmOrHaIr> i can put a computer together and be prepareing the hdd in 20 min
<+CmOrHaIr> or 15 even
<+Jackworks> CmOrHaIr: if u do it in 15 i bet i can make it in 14
* ^Caliban makes sure to avoid any computers put together by Cmor or Jack |
#14583 (8/200) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming |
#14582 (255/397) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl |
#14581 (132/322) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff |
#14575 (175/314) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO! SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT MUSIC: NIN]" |
#14572 (39/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow |
#14571 (0/240) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cardsfan> ethan - do u know by any chance how to get rid of something out of dev manager in windows xp? it says it cannot delete it because it may be required for the computer to boot |
#14569 (70/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Baby_Gurl16> Does any one here have a thousand dollars i could borrow to bail my boyfriend out of jail with if so please msg me |
#14568 (27/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT..... |
#14567 (0/236) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P |
#14562 (202/380) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
<lemmer> HOORAY
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
<coolzx> NOW I HAVE 34
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
<Benco> ^_^ |
#14558 (-1/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fishfood> EVERYONE NET PERSON I HAVE MET HAS ENDED UP SUCKING MY COCK
<Eurakarte> WOW, I HAVE GOT TO MEET YOU
<Funk> that's why I don't want to meet you
<Fishfood> I HARDLY THINK THAT'S YOUR CHOICE
<Fishfood> YEAH I BET THE ONLY REASON FUNK DOESN'T WANT TO MEET ANYONE IS THAT HES ONLY JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL
<Funk> That's why Fish wants to meet me |
#14554 (-4/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fsdf> I DONT CARE I DONT LIKE TALKING TO NAZIS
<fsdf> ESP. JEWISH NAZIS |
#14552 (264/372) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids' otherwise normal names
<prick> Or change them
<prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
<prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
<prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of spelling out her name to strangers |
#14544 (0/304) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Chibi> You know you're pathetic when roaches are bigger than your penis :o |
#14539 (-1/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Funk> I just watched the Tomb Raider film
<Lammy> WOW YOU WONT WATCH HARRY POTTER BUT YOU WILL WATCH TOMB RAIDER
<Funk> UHH I watched Harry Potter the night it opened, spastic
<Lammy> OH
<Lammy> BESIDES YOU JUST USED THE WORD 'SPASTIC'
<Lammy> WHICH NEGATES ANY POINT YOU MAKE ON ACCOUNT OF BEING RETARDED |
#14538 (105/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<usrg> cigarettes are carcinogenic, too
<oink2u> actually, it's the smoke that you inhale from the cigarette that's carcinogenic
<usrg> well DUH :-P
<usrg> you don't eat the damn thing! |
#14533 (172/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vedic> Boiling cheese = DON'T EAT |
#14531 (-1/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<homerj`> what do I know? I load slashdot and get a pink screen
<splice> sounds like your sex life |
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