|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..317318319320321322323..596Next> |
#20900 (203/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SomeGuy> My computer has no firewalls. It is protected by a thin layer of cheese
<screevo> Well, thats gouda, someguy
<SomeGuy> RIMSHOT!
<Treen> ...
<screevo> what type of cheese?
<SomeGuy> Wisconsin Cheddar
<screevo> heh. thats very sharp of you
<screevo> being the religious guy I am, i use swiss
* SomeGuy snorts
<screevo> I like it holy, ya know.
<SomeGuy> oh the puns
<screevo> when I was more of an emokid, i used bleu cheese...it seemed to fit the mood.
<screevo> one day, i wondered what happened if I took the cheese protection off, but was too scared to try
<screevo> so eventually, i munsteared up the courage to do it...
<SomeGuy> oh my god
<Treen> damn you. damn you straight to hell.
* SomeGuy Quit (Quit: Avante!)
<screevo> think we were too...cheesey for him? |
#20866 (270/430) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left |
#20858 (63/241) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online"
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone"
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO"
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you" |
#20855 (104/266) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless |
#20848 (-2/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Scragadelic> honestly, goatse should be on like the french national flag |
#20832 (39/299) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<damn_fig> someone needs to form Bashaholics Anonymous
* DirtyPunk submits damn_fig's quote to bash. |
#20815 (0/201) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<FMJaguar> how do i erase a minidisc, either in the real world or the matrix world
<FMJaguar> both are acceptable
<Zaximus> FMJ: It depends on how lazy you are
<Zaximus> if you are very lazy, you can erase the minidisc in teh real world by breaking it into pieces and throwing it out
<Zaximus> if you are very lazy, you can erase the minidisc in the Matrix by shutting down the Matrix :) |
#22838 (130/276) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Alex> whenever i finally think i'm gonna dump this girl, she always says something that changes my mind, like right before i say something
<Alex> generally a 'i love you alex'
<Alex> shes a psychic gold digger :( |
#21364 (145/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wormie> go to a junk yard
<wormie> get an old car that runs
<wormie> give the fat guy workin there 20 bucks for it
<wormie> drive it into the store as deep in as you can
<wormie> hop out
<wormie> and when everyones running away
<ubergamer> LOL
<wormie> go grab a cd key :) |
#20804 (136/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@KaZaA> haha, elephante12 has a homeless chick for a girlfriend :p
<+elephante12> shadap
<@KaZaA> you know i'm just kidding :D
<keyb0red> hey hey, there are some advantages to having a homeless chick for a girlfriend
<keyb0red> after going out, you can drop her off anywhere! |
#20790 (226/396) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Epi> anyone gots photoshop7 cd key, my net browsering skills are only lvl 36, i need lvl 40 so search for one
* JesterX gives Epi Scroll of googling +5
<JesterX> use it wisely |
#20780 (96/281) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
« turkey » when a baby matures to age 16 (well, thats when it happened for me), it grows testicles, large frogs in its throat, and hair all over
« turkey » then the spleen explodes and an alien comes out
« turkey » and thats how babys are made
« Dilbert » when does the stork come?
« turkey » When you jack him off long enough |
#20771 (112/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<j0nkatz> SHIT!
<j0nkatz> SHIT!
<j0nkatz> SHIT!
<j0nkatz> Tornado siren!!
<j0nkatz> brb |
#18641 (54/206) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kinderkid> my man is at home..... playing playstation.... and i was here looking on ebay
<kinderkid> best convo we've ever had
<kinderkid> haha
<ataribaby> hjahahah kickass
<stargroove> "convo"
<ataribaby> is that irc slang for phone sex in different rooms in the house?
<stargroove> yes |
#20749 (52/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
xenophile: been awhile since i've done a mailman
xenophile: DO NOT PUT THAT ON BASH>ORG!!@@!!@ |
#20734 (170/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off images", it only refers to inline images. Which is why it's safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl. I think it's obvious how I figured this out. |
#20699 (0/258) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rezod> damn I'm graphic peckish, think I'll do some litestep'ing, need to fiddle with something
<Rezod> get fiddle feelings when I listen to music
<Pixelz> I usualy get that when I see Jenna Jameson |
#20690 (135/273) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[sta_hi] i had a static ip once
[sta_hi] till i touched a doorknob |
#25638 (73/241) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Aximili> WHAT THE DAMN HELL WAS THAT AHHHHHH
<Nicklon> ·Aximili· => puberty |
#25176 (163/285) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Normandy> How poor is this.
<+Normandy> that exercise bike I've been lookin forward to start building my leg muscles for the summer finally arrived today
<+Normandy> yet I'm carryin it upstairs and twat it against my knee, and now my uncle who is a doctor says i cant exert any pressure on it for 2 bloody months |
#26281 (40/240) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Madchemist> the best part of UO was that some people just wanted to be farmers or weavers or some mess
<Madchemist> and you could slaughter them and take their hard earned stuff |
#26279 (87/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hatter> I accidentally just IM'd a coworker "Dong lunch?" instead of "Doing lunch?" :? |
#26278 (148/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<KArmA-> imagine someone sliding a cold, very long, narrow hose up your ass
<phr0work> it can't be worse than a man's finger
<phr0work> ugh
<KArmA-> um
<KArmA-> trust me |
#25643 (0/212) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Woody> some guys can last longer than 5 seconds mendy :p
<Mendez> I wouldn't know - I've never had a guy give me a blowjob. |
#25641 (1/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<J{E}K> What is the best song of NIN?
<uidv6> ALL THE SILENT TRACKS ON BROKEN |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..317318319320321322323..596Next> |
|