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#26306 (184/362) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves |
#25374 (129/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Demonhunter> so.. i may be losing my cable modem soon.. who knows
<Idle_Timmy> man, that sucks.
<Idle_Timmy> maybe you need a mike's hard lemonade.
<Demonhunter> i need a liter of jaggermeister
<Demonhunter> and alzadie
<Idle_Timmy> tell me a hooker couldn't help.
<Demonhunter> depends on the hooker
<Idle Timmy> a hooker with dsl in her hotel room
<Demonhunter> ohh...
<Demonhunter> now i could use that
<Demonhunter> i would be downloading so much porn with her dsl connection...
<Idle_Timmy> "What kind of 'bandwidth' do you get, if you know what i mean"
<Demonhunter> hehe
<Idle_Timmy> "Depends on your 'hardware', sugar" ;o
<Idle_Timmy> "So where can i 'plug it in'?"
<Idle_Timmy> "oooohh, you bring the 'modem', big boy, and i'll give you an 'outlet'"
<Idle_Timmy> "oh yeah, baby, I got your modem RIGHT HERE"
<Idle_Timmy> *pulls a laptop out of his trenchcoat*
<Demonhunter> lmao...
<Idle_Timmy> "now let's see if my 'router' is compatible with your 'hub' and we can get some 'peer to peer' action going" |
#26328 (144/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tfg> What's the vatican?
<tfg> Is it a resturant or something? |
#26314 (307/459) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason |
#26313 (129/289) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave
<MidoriKid> Nope. I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation |
#26312 (56/310) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper |
#26311 (315/419) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt" |
#26310 (259/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM. |
#24206 (208/358) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ganja> weed is good
<xooz98> that opinion sounds strangely biased |
#24166 (380/514) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
dergrue: what's the name of that program that gives you a random meal to eat when you can't pick something?
barry: 'mom' |
#21616 (221/379) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[20:10] * Aery has joined #online
[20:10] <Aery> boobs boobs boobs
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] <Aery> boobs
[20:10] <Trax> .
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] * Aery has left #online
[20:10] <Treen> She had an entire night's conversation in under a minute. |
#20253 (102/252) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(syanide): whats a hacking master?
(DownKaos-): syanide: it's one of those guys who drinks a lot of red bull and jerks off to animated porn in his star trek suit |
#26326 (127/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thumbtack> fucking fathers day
<thumbtack> THANKS DAD FOR CREATING ME, I LOVE WORKING ALL THE FUCKING TIME and LIFE IS SO PRECIOUSComment: #lost
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#26324 (81/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tito> they should have a band called Stool
<tito> and their promotional people could be called "Stool Pushers" |
#26322 (3/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Derek> i got gforce 2 ti 64 meg tv out :D
<Death_Mageorz> oooh
<Death_Mageorz> i want a tv out
<Death_Mageorz> so bad
<Death_Mageorz> so i can record shows |
#26321 (-2/292) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[supz] 64meg usually has less faster ram
[supz] and 128 has more slower ram |
#26319 (107/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<maff> you know you're too much of a pothead when you stop getting weed jokes |
#26315 (1/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@PookaZzZz> elimidate??
<@PookaZzZz> is that the terminator in spanish? |
#19636 (-1/217) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JapanMan> im not retarted man
<X13> ... |
#19560 (111/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Keltus> 1 year ago, I was sitting here programming my web browser using the WebBrowser control in Visual Basic.... thought C++ was too l33t for me :p
<Keltus> I wish I could go back in time and impress the hell out of myself |
#19558 (8/274) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zygron> marv: you remember what i said yesterday about that IBM keyboard i got from a friend ?
(Marvin66) yeah, it clicks.
<zygron> marv: i spent one and a half hour to clean it, removed all the keys etc
<zygron> marv: then i plugged it, and realized it was an XT keyboard
<zygron> no clicks for me =( |
#19551 (118/274) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zanok> Im watching this build your own computer thing on the spanish channel
<Zanok> you hear a bunch of gibberish followed by "motherboard" |
#19550 (204/349) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<count^> i set my double click speed to really slow
<count^> so that
<count^> i can click once now..
<count^> go out, have a cig
<count^> go for a walk
<count^> take a nap
<count^> then come back and click again
<count^> i like to be ready for anything |
#19538 (81/288) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zin> If i suddenly turned into a woman i'd quit my job and just feel my boobs all day |
#19419 (-2/277) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<amb_> i'm almost finished dev on my own os
<amb_> called negrOS
<greenz> racist
<nightfire> does it go around stealing software? |
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