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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..298299300301302303304..596Next> |
#23634 (127/300) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Mobius`) is there a disease where your hands always feel dirty and you wash them like every 20mins?
(dtw) excessive fisting |
#23988 (-6/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JMet> aww, nothing wrong with a few red necks
<JMet> the world needs less homos and black ppl |
#24624 (221/421) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mr_Meeker> you know how cats always land on their feet and toast always lands on the top?
<Mr_Meeker> i tried taping toast to my cats back :P
<Mr_Meeker> went apeshit |
#23512 (238/467) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Pr|cK> oi shan on sunday last week at footlocker when i was buying new shoes
<@Pr|cK> there was this REALLY HOT chick working there right
<@Pr|cK> anyway i went in to buy shoes, and she saw my $500 sunnies
<@Pr|cK> and she gave me her number
<@cray> pfft that's nothing...i went into this shop and waved around my expensive gun, and the chick behind the counter gave me all her money |
#25013 (0/330) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@King-Bob) a car is much like a women...both require money....and if u stop..both refuse the service they are designed for |
#25011 (40/198) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[noddingGeek] lowkey: Yeah shes bringing a different friend this time...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: that's good. you can use the same moves again.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: I don't have any moves...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: damn. come up with some quick.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: ...I talked about my pcmcia ethernet card...
[noddingGeek] They didn't seem to care for it...
[jimmiejaz] were you passionate about it?
[noddingGeek] Yeah I was like "I CAN'T FIND MY MOTHERFUCKING ETHERNET CARD!"
[noddingGeek] Really pissed off like that..
[jimmiejaz] perfect.
[noddingGeek] Then they told me to get off the computer...
[jimmiejaz] and you said you were trying?
[noddingGeek] jimmiejaz: yeah thats exactly what I said.... |
#24647 (117/255) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mara> so I'm like 'oh no! my new service sucks ass!'
<Mara> and then I'm like.....hey.....what's this at my feet
<Mara> it's the cable, I kept knockin' it out
<Mara> *phew* |
#24388 (6/188) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
@JarZ: i want my dad's mirc
@JarZ: uhh
@JarZ: fuck im a geek
@JarZ: MERC |
#24382 (435/575) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'( |
#24341 (-3/329) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Homer_Jay_Simpson> I was just playing counter strike. And I only died once, because I couldnt get into that god damned thing
<Homer_Jay_Simpson> Then it hit me.
<Homer_Jay_Simpson> I had the same problem last night :/ |
#24310 (119/295) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@[CKS]Red_Robot> last time i was home i smoked a bowl in the middle of the night, and my mom woke up to go to the bathroom and told me "i can smell your pot, pothead"
<@[CKS]Red_Robot> then she went back to bed |
#24122 (162/347) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<whitcomb> hello alistair
<TAKid75> Explain this Alistair thing to me.
<whitcomb> i called you alistair
<whitcomb> the end. |
#24048 (67/243) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RS-Jack> this place is like a bowl of cereal, full of fruits and nuts |
#23966 (41/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Apocalypz) you know ive got a pretty crazy fantasy
(Apocalypz) when i get a gf, and im about to sex her
(Apocalypz) im gonna make her say
(Apocalypz) ROOT ME
(Apocalypz) that would own. |
#23927 (145/291) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a bad time
<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic" |
#23907 (221/367) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mog> !8BALL WILL MARA KICK ME IN TWO SECONDS FOR ABUSING THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON?
<FarkStatsBot> mog: You may rely on it.
* mog was kicked by Mara (Caps abuse - 100%) |
#23884 (123/305) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Amuck50> well....you know the aliens ALWAYS land in america.....because we're the only ones with crop fields......we bombed everyone elses |
#23479 (119/284) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Frondz: dude, 3.3 kb/s upload?
Frondz: i hope you give your cable company the heil hitler evrey day
Frondz: because they are some fucking nazis |
#23443 (87/287) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Signoff: JediJawa (Quit: do you ever just sit around for a minute trying to think of a witty quit message and you can't think of anything so you type a long nonsensical message? Just me then...) |
#20522 (-2/282) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@WickedDrag0oN) bah
(@WickedDrag0oN) every women has a boyfriend
(@WickedDrag0oN) you just have to be the better boyfriend
[@Punk|] or rapist |
#19642 (-3/243) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jugg[daoc]> i had blue shit after a giant size blue slushee
<Revenge> did you take a pic? |
#19471 (118/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[ethix] the card i got my mom for christmas says
[ethix] "christmas is like constipation" you aint getting shit |
#26419 (122/300) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zappa_> DigDug: it would be funny if there weren't so many "people-don't-understand-internet-jargon-quotes"
<Mootar> or, as I like to call them, PDUIJQ |
#24223 (129/279) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rtype> u cnt hx me u hv no pwr
<rtype> nt evn th engn frm ur polo wl sav u
<[G]eM-TeC> the strange thingy is that i understand you |
#24020 (214/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Soulcleaver> In last week's episode, Jack fought Aku again and won in about 20 seconds, literally. That was just annoying.
<Soulcleaver> In an anime, it would take at least five minutes. (No DBZ jokes plzkthx)
<Kamui> Must... resist... making a DBZ joke...
<Kamui> Urrrrrrgh... Arrrrrgh... The urge... is too strong...
<Kamui> <Announcer> Tune in to the next episode, when Kamui fights the urge to make a DBZ joke! |
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