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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..251252253254255256257..596Next> |
#31744 (189/363) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(AtomicBadger) my crotch itches
(AtomicBadger) damn aftershave
(vash) ... |
#25399 (158/298) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(XBL-im): i have adelphia/time warner wires running side by side
(XBL-im): into my room
(XBL-im): appartently my adelphia one is creating a magnetic field that send the transmition into the air
(XBL-im): high enough that planes can pick it up
(XBL-im): *i live near a huge international airport*
(XBL-im): anyways, the FCC was looking for the problem
(XBL-im): and they found me
(XBL-im): they gave me this 30 min bullshit lecture on how it works
(XBL-im): and then they offered me an alternative to cable
(XBL-im): lol |
#25360 (84/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<klerck> I think they should build an airport at the WTC site so the planes can't miss the runway next time |
#31738 (318/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mod> someone was telling me the other day
<mod> and i cant remembe where
<mod> that he wa checking baggage in at the airport
<mod> and his suitcase was REALLY packed full
<mod> and as he hands the bag to the guy at the counter he says "be careful, it might explode"
<mod> it was an awkward moment
<dano> ROFL
<mod> this was like a week ago too
<mod> oranger alert and all |
#31723 (191/351) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pads> He'll be back. They always come back. IRC is the only thign harder to give up that heroin injected from a nicotine filled syringe. |
#31711 (159/393) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<OldManPeterson> once, i was fucking this girly doggy style and she farted right. really loud too, well the bitch looks at me and goes 'its talking to you". so i was like, 'well, tell it to stfu" |
#31692 (-2/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[ Unter ] why do faggot nigs always quit right before game starts on wc3
[ Unter ] that's so fucking annoying
[ Unter ] if I fucking met them I would shove me cock down their throat
[ Unter ] in a non-sexual violent way
[ doobie ] then theyd bite it off
[ doobie ] in a non violent, sexual way. |
#31685 (353/539) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ICWolf> I just ate a *ton* of Chinese ^_^
<Yasuo> lol, someone has to control their population ;x |
#31676 (-2/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
aliensk8erj: it was just, blah blah blah, BJ! |
#31670 (0/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kae> oh cool
<Kae> if you hold shift and minimise mIRC it goes to systray
<Kae> and I'm sure you all knew that
<OWKnsmoss> cool as Tac fighters is it?
<Kae> well no, mIRC in a systray can't pull warp 5 nor does it carry 2 pulse phasers and a Photon torp launcher
<Kae> Now bite me OWK
<OWKnsmoss> But mIRC in a systray is so much more REAL |
#31654 (27/285) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
PurgedKel: I don't use google to find racist jokes anymore
PurgedKel: I use bash.[org/cx]/?search |
#31650 (78/240) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[myg0t]Techno_Warrior> my freind's friend's girlfriend got a tat in jap
<[myg0t]Techno_Warrior> it said white whore
<[myg0t]b4d_k4rm4> lol
<littlepanis> hahahaha
<littlepanis> good things it not ur friends gf
<[myg0t]Techno_Warrior> it was one of those tat shacks
<[myg0t]Techno_Warrior> at special events
<[myg0t]Techno_Warrior> she couldnt find the guy so she paid for removal |
#31642 (288/456) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rjx> I had this thought for a t-shirt design that I want to work on
<Rjx> it's the hindu god with all the arms
<Rjx> and he's typing at like 7 keyboards
<kitchen> playing eq?
<Rjx> ?
<kitchen> imagine having 7 arms
<kitchen> and playing eq on all of those
<kitchen> you'd be like.. uber raid force
<kitchen> one person
<maff> you'd also have a date for every night of the weekComment: #geekissues
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#31637 (36/266) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dEkOr> i wanna fucking kill myself... my cat died and i just pressed reset with my toe by accident and lost 3gb of queues |
#31635 (62/224) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Timsquared> Well I was trying to fix my computer and I was talking to tech support on the phone, The guy from tech support says unhook all the cables and tell me when your done.
<Cyril_M.> And...
<Timsquared> Well, I started disconnecting the cables and suddenly the tech support died out... I just went SHIT as i just remembered that my phone line was connected to my computer... |
#31632 (-1/413) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< voodoobum> though in theory it has been done before |
#31593 (275/489) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nomad> I know my friend's password!
<djoanes> what is it?
<nomad> ****** |
#31576 (54/254) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[walking_wounded] kmart
[walking_wounded] its like the opposite of disneyland |
#31568 (354/538) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Moushi> My friend is over
<Moushi> And he's ion thye bathroom right now
<Moushi> And he's been in there for a loing time
<Moushi> And I can hear... sounds
<Moushi> What do I do
<BHedL> jump in there with no clothes on but womens undergarments and a scary rubber mask
<Moushi> But he would ejaculate in terror all over me!
<BHedL> well, then you start a fetish porn site
<Moushi> His dad's a lawyer
<Moushi> He would sue me
<BHedL> nah, with the immense amount of money you´ll be making off of your ¨crossdresser rubber mask bukkakae¨, you could just hire him as your own lawyer
<Moushi> hahaha
<Moushi> Yeah, but then he wouldn
<Moushi> 't be my friend
<BHedL> how do you know that he isnt there masturbating to the very mental image of you in womens undergaments with a big scary rubber mask on?
<Moushi> How about I just run in, scream in hiorror, and kick him in the balls?
<BHedL> theres no money in that
<Moushi> You make a compelling argument. |
#31567 (693/823) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DasKrav> I was correcting tests for student service a few weeks ago
<DasKrav> And while correcting a geometry test, I got to the question "What is the collision of three planes called?" (The answer was "a point")
<DasKrav> the kid put "A disaster"
<DasKrav> I didn't take off points >:] |
#31566 (234/420) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Wintyr: I totally emasculated my father.
Wintyr: I took my little brother and put him in my old ballet recital dress, put lipstick and a bow on him, and then paraded him around the house in it...
Wintyr: In front of the dinner guests...who started, like, whistling at him and shit...
Wintyr: All the while he's like, "Look look! Cole pretty! Cole pretty!" and all happy about the dress.
Krylo: Hahahahahah
Wintyr: My dad is just standing there with this horribly lost look on his face, saying, "I...I do have a boy...right...?"
Wintyr: It kicked so much ass. |
#31565 (539/709) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don't worry. It's done |
#31562 (175/409) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wildboar> http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/spirit.html
<Wish> no colour pictures? :(
<wildboar> they can't be in color or you would realize this is actually somewhere in Nevada |
#31561 (354/552) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rik> if i had a dollar for every time i had 60 cents, i'd be canada. |
#31559 (223/395) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dekkon> i dated a mormon once
<tito> was she wild in bed? i've heard that
<Dekkon> i think i fucked the mormon outta her |
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