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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..250251252253254255256..596Next> |
#31840 (74/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jestuh> you know what we don't have enough of?
<jestuh> NORWEGIAN PROGRAMMING QUOTES!
<jestuh> <[Stig]> men er jo lett å se en feil, om det er!
<jestuh> <ZoraX> men prøv "$fp=fopen("linker.txt", "wr");"
<|Chris> wow that's a hilarious quote
<livewireo> APPROVE
<|Chris> definately approve
<|Chris> that's quality
<Infinik> Yes.
<kitchen> i don't get it.
<Infinik> That's cause you have no sense of... something. |
#31839 (117/305) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sasha> i had 12 GBs of porn... think im going to "clean-out" my c-drive tomorrow
<Sasha> see how much space i can get
<Hagane> ....
<Sasha> i like variety alright, shut up
<Hagane> wait wtf. arent you the person who goes crazy saying OMG PORNS FOR WIMPS
<Hagane> or something
<Sasha> not really...
<Sasha> nothing wrong with porn..
<Sasha> better than cybering
<Sasha> like i said, i get bored with the same thing and im too lazy to delete all my shit
<Hagane> try hentai
<Sasha> i did
<Hagane> women being fictionaly raped by tenticles never get old
<Sasha> there's only so many times before i can see the same damn tentacle
<Hagane> haha
<Sasha> hmm.. i have a feeling im going to be a bad boyfriend someday...
<Sasha> er, husband*
<Hagane> whys that?
<Sasha> <Sasha> like i said, i get bored with the same thing and im too lazy to delete all my shit |
#31838 (320/448) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<babywafn> I wrapped my arm in duct tape
<babywafn> and then unravelled the roll
<babywafn> and wrapped the other end around a pipe
<babywafn> and then dropped from the ceiling
<babywafn> and it jerked my arm BUT IT HELD
<fap> wafn has experienced boredom beyond our comprehension
<babywafn> it was not boredom
<babywafn> I was evading authorities |
#31827 (402/550) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<niteshade> awww this is shit.
<niteshade> my router's stuck in a routing loop
<Sendai> power cycle
<niteshade> i mean at UPS
<Sendai> Your router runs UPS?
<niteshade> no I mean I ordered it and it's come through oregon, into seattle, back to oregon and into seattle again. I just checked and it's back in oregon. UPS is looping!
<Sendai> lol
<beer> lol. that doesn't bode well
<niteshade> no shit. I ordered it to replace a crappy dlink that kept fucking with my network
<beer> dlink r good
<niteshade> nup this one was going into routing loops
<niteshade> am I in the twilight zone? |
#31826 (115/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dj|Work> If you don't have a console, the only thing you'll know of is MotoGP
<oPless> why does pizza just go straight through me ?
<chise`> I haven't had a cup of tea or hot chocolate in 2 days!
<Dj|Work> Quick! Non-sequiter boy! To the rescue! |
#31823 (555/731) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh" |
#31822 (276/392) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore |
#31807 (473/615) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers.
<[NCA]Spank> Then I learned you could get porn on them.
<[NCA]Spank> 3 years later I'm a system administrator. |
#31803 (278/498) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate |
#31801 (159/321) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Chiffy> hah
<Chiffy> I was at a local skateboard shop with my mom
<Chiffy> and I look up and see a deck with a picture of a drunk mexican screwing a crocodile and I laugh
<Chiffy> she looks up
<Chiffy> and mentions something like 'oh animal planet crocodile guy'
<Chiffy> it took about 5 seconds for her to go 'uh, wait' |
#31800 (118/310) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<felix> what is asl?
<felix> asshole? |
#31799 (231/449) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<McDeath> thank god for electricity
<Jake_Edwards> yeah, if it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight
<gower> and how useless would all the power plants be
<conrad> at least you can still use your computer in the darkComment: from #qegs
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#31790 (264/456) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Limitless> The CX Registry has shut off the goatse.cx domain suddenly and without warning.
<Limitless> They have cowardly cited a section of their AUP with allows them to remove sites at their discretion.
<Limitless> :(
<Limitless> RIP goatse
<adam> soon, friends, goatse will just be a thing of legend
<adam> we have all participated in something magical
<Zee> adam
<Zee> NO
<adam> Zee: :(!
<Zee> goatse will live on
<Zee> FOREVAR!
<adam> in our hearts and reams
<adam> and vomit
<Zee> REAMS?
<Zee> Reams of paper?
<adam> dreams too
<adam> reams of dreams
<Zee> oh man that's deep
<Zee> that's like, five hundred dreams |
#31789 (83/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[exilex] who here has a fast ass connection?
[+TigerRei] exilex, not many people here like to stick ethernet cables into their bum
[exilex] wtf
[+TigerRei] if 100mbit ethernet cable can make me take a dump easier...
[+yZ-smoke] but your backside bus would bottleneck it
•›› Quit: [exilex] [~blah@md-wmnsmd-cuda1-c1a-a-38.chvlva.adelphia.net] [Quit]Comment: #callofduty on GamesNET
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#31787 (197/351) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kaelic> Orca informed me I was black listed on the channel, when I wanted to know why he said it was because I got an illegal Stars! Serial, I claimed that someone else told me to do it
<Kaelic> So 3 years later I am digging through logs
<Kaelic> And there it is!
<Kaelic> Orca telling me how to get an illegal serial!
<Kaelic> like 3 days earlier ¬_¬ |
#31766 (374/522) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
We had the schools first HP laser printer installed in the PC lab for less than 24 hours when we received the only the first complaint on it. One of the users came down to tell us that the laser printer wasn't printing and had eaten his report. We tried to explain to him that the printer can't eat your report, and he said, yes it truly had and that there was smoke coming from the printer along with strange grinding noises. Upon investigation we discovered that he had taken his 5 1/4" floppy and had somehow crammed it into the envelope feed and hit printscreen, whereupon it promptly fused into a mess. The printer had less than 50 total pages through it. |
#31763 (93/243) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rumpelteazer> have you ever drunk hand cream
<Rumpelteazer> I don't feel at all well
<Rumpelteazer> the original bottle broke, and all I had handy was my old coffee cup.
<Rumpelteazer> the bottle broke when I tripped over an old ps2 controller my husband had attatched to my computer for unknown reasons
<Rumpelteazer> and I returned to my desk with a big cup of coffee.
<Rumpelteazer> and I mixed the two cups up. |
#31761 (403/523) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two" |
#31756 (97/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* DigDug has joined #ramen
<Morris> You get the ankles, and I'll get the wrists...
<DigDug> ack! |
#31751 (192/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<benapp> well Pnther instlled without hitch
<benapp> except Softwre updte keeps killing my '' key
<benapp> I'll let you guess which key I men
<benapp> since I cn't exctly type one
<benapp> oky now THAT is fucked up: I cn type A CAPTIAL A just fine
<benapp> but not A lowercAse one
<benapp> so now I cAn look like one of those dipshits WiTH tHE rAnDOm cAPiTAlizATioN
<benapp> OkAy, Ben is VERY confused
<benapp> my A key works FINE when AuthenticAting to wAke up from sleep
<benapp> BUT
<benapp> it won't work Anywhere else
<benapp> AnywAy, I cAn see you're not there...lAter! |
#31750 (0/208) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Xarpolis> I have so much Porn on this computer... ;p
<@Xarpolis> hell, if I ever decided to take it in for service (because I do it all on my own anyway)
<@Xarpolis> I'd make my desktop be a huge mozaic of lesbians and have a what's left of the desktop be nothing but video's |
#31749 (7/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rjx> what the shit
<Rjx> http://www.ukgeek.co.uk/
<Rjx> I spent 3 minutes trying to move that window
<Rjx> before I realised a) it was an image
<Rjx> and b) I wasn't even in linux |
#31748 (121/313) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<gr> So, uh, both Gentoo's main servers and Red Hat Network are dead in the water at the moment.
<gr> Which one of you naughty children has been hax0ring?
<DJ-Pyro> sorry..I'll back off
* Lippizanr checks the weather
<gr> Pyro, you really don't have to be that ambitious just to get your letter published in 2600, I promise.
* Lippizanr snickers
<DJ-Pyro> it was to get the girl..not to get in 2600
<DJ-Pyro> Hey Lippizanr, I took down RHN and Gentoo just for you baby
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> see
<DJ-Pyro> it works
<Lippizanr> you really DO love me!
<Lippizanr> your hax0ring ways have woo'd me! lets go have sex! |
#31747 (98/300) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sarah_mascara> and she hated her unique name. so she named me SARAH.
<sarah_mascara> YAY FOR THAT.
<vanbeast> hahahaha
<sarah_mascara> and being labeled 'Sarah R.' my whole live.
<sarah_mascara> life, also.
<vanbeast> :)
<sarah_mascara> my mom used to tell me i had the 'charlie brown syndrome' because i always introduced myself as 'sarah richter.' 'cause i always knew too many sarahs, you know.
<sarah_mascara> but...
<vanbeast> download faster, song
<vanbeast> I was always the only ben. that was weird for me.
<sarah_mascara> i must admit, it took on a whole new meaning when my mom got REALLY drunk about two years ago and told me i was conceived at the 'charlie brown hotel' on myrtle beach. |
#31745 (245/443) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<warewolf> "It sucks when you sneeze with a dildo in, and inadvertantly become a one-round-gun." |
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