|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..207208209210211212213..596Next> |
#37575 (-2/162) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Deranged): I tried to teach my dog safe sex, but he kept licking off the rubbers. |
#37565 (14/172) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@greeneking) I started my job today...
(@greeneking) It's so easy, lol
(@greeneking) 8 hour shifts
(@greeneking) and all i do is get books off shelves and put them onto boxes
(@greeneking) the most fun part is pushing a box down one of them roller belt thingys
(@greeneking) i should shit in oneComment: genuine typo....
|
#37559 (32/164) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ctfan|D2> Damn, that game is ADDICTING, its like sex but w/o the chick and the sex |
#37558 (217/299) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammitComment: ZiRC
|
#37556 (13/155) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gloone> i've seen kraftwerk live
<gloone> it was pretty cool
<gloone> my gf saw them life this summer and she can't shut up about it
<gloone> she even mentioned it after sex once, she was in a really good mood
<gloone> and i was like "was it that good?" and the replied that she was thinking about the kraftwerk concert :(Comment: #ramen
|
#37550 (6/162) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dooky> oh and get a bucket of paint and slop it all over her car
<MSIGuy> Yeah.
<Stonefish> dooky: Glue it on the hood, like a Mack Truck bulldog
<Inept> Crazy glue the dildo onto her hood where the hood ornament should be.
<dooky> gluing the dildo do the windshield was a good ideaComment: who needs keys when you have a dildo and epoxy
|
#37546 (106/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*talking about windows XP 64*
(whales3x) to be honest, I am impressed with the os
(whales3x) brb....
¹¹º¹ Quit» (whales3x) (whalesex@209.159.210.144)
(@TheVirus) dunno if i trust a person with the nick whalesex
(Syanide) lol
(Syanide) Says 'TheVirus'
(Syanide) hahaha
(@TheVirus) touche |
#37537 (82/202) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DReW24> ugh, it's so hard to find a place that puts messages on shirts.
<DReW24> all I want
<DReW24> is a t-shirt that says "daddy's little whore" on it
<DReW24> and some bitch at Copy Machine was like, "I don't think your father would approve of that" |
#37533 (102/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
--- Garf!giancarlo@kabel.telenet.be has quit: "Life calls!"
--- Garf!giancarlo@kabel.telenet.be has joined: #vorbis-talk
<NullC> Garf: Wrong number? |
#37503 (70/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<everest-> seems your most effective method of contraception is your personalityComment: #geekissues
|
#37502 (73/179) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< leary> how many people does it take to have an organized religion?
< leary> cause i got an idea
< Systat> 2
< Systat> one to preach and one to beleive the bullshit |
#37489 (185/291) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+swedegeek> MrDelayer, how come discussion always moves to centering around mail anatomy when you're around?
<MrDelayer> mail anatomy?
<MrDelayer> like
<MrDelayer> postal workers
<MrDelayer> "Hey baby, nice package" |
#37443 (97/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dogboy> You know, there's a part of me that says penis jokes aren't funny.
<urcompsux> Yeah, it's probably your penis. |
#37441 (70/190) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@g> ive been cleaning my room on and off all day
<@g> got rid of like 6-7 bags of trash :x
<%Luffy> I've been thrusting all day...beat that ?.?
<@g> i dont want to beat anything of yours o.o |
#37406 (133/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GroZZleR> Going to play Generals...
<nox`afk> generals..
<nox`afk> ppfft.
<GameArena> It's not the computer game. He literally goes out in his backyard at night and pretends to be at war. |
#37400 (146/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rpop> I hate @ sign before ops
<rpop> I usually take it off.. waste of space
<rpop> recently I had to put it back on though
<rpop> I kept insulting retards on efnet without realizing they had ops |
#37416 (9/161) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@AlmtyBob> man
<@AlmtyBob> alcoholics take themselves too seriously
<@AlmtyBob> some dude comes up to me wanting to cancel a day off he'd put in
<@AlmtyBob> saying he didn't remember why he put it in the first place, nothing was going on except his one year anniversary of not drinking
<@AlmtyBob> so I said smth like, "Hey! Steve and I are going downtown on Thursday, come down to the bar and we'll celebrate"
<@AlmtyBob> he wasn't amused
<@AlmtyBob> if you can't joke about yourself who can you joke about? |
#37391 (189/359) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<asdfasdf> You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and is like, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," and does his thing, then he puts the mike down but forgets to turn it off. Then he says, "Man, all I want right now is a blow-job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess goes runnin' up towards the cock-pit to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy in the back of the plane goes, "Don't forget the coffee!" |
#37382 (64/164) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<z80> lets be helpfull
<z80> and intelligent
<z80> and maybe arrive at some truth most ppl miss
<SabrWolf> u could also just shutup |
#37376 (316/476) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die |
#37342 (80/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< dildohead> i know 2 guys who major'd in english
< dildohead> and theyre both homelessComment: #geekissues
|
#37341 (152/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zao> It's typo evening tonight, everyone is invited.
<rpop> htank you |
#37314 (137/271) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Redd_Jedi> When people say "Have you been penetrated" does that mean have they been shot?
<Plog> o_O
<Squirtle> O_O
<Redd_Jedi> What?
<Plog> Redd_Jedi: When you have a man and a woman.
<Redd_Jedi> WHOA WHOA WHOA I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING
<Plog> they order a bird to drop a baby down their chimney.
<Plog> And the baby is penetrating the chimney you see. >_>
<Redd_Jedi> So that's what it means <_< |
#37312 (-4/206) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samako> my school's 69% white, 69% asian, and 69% pregnant |
#37298 (29/191) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dolph> beeeeeeee op beeop bop bop crankkkkkkkkk bzzzzt beeee be be be booooooooooooo be bong be bong be bahhhhhhhhhh biiiiiiiii bahhhhhhhh
<UnderCover> wtf
<Dolph> "Welcome"
<Dolph> "Youve got mail"
<Dolph> "Dah ding"
<Dolph> "Deh do"
<Dolph> hehe 56k |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..207208209210211212213..596Next> |
|