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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..192193194195196197198..596Next> |
#40440 (181/349) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<laurent> yeah everything's great except the damn hard disk
<Popdog> need a hd?
<Popdog> i've got a spare 20 i can bring up with me
<laurent> i was trying to seduce Amanda by showing her how fast i could install OpenBSD and i did the bsdlabel editing and hit ok and a pile of newfs errors spam the screen
<Popdog> LOL
<laurent> so needless to say i didn't get lucky that night |
#40420 (282/404) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pokey> dude got fired from his job missing one day of work
<Pokey> ONE
<Pokey> in which he tried to get someone to cover for him
<Pokey> his sister was having a baby
<Pokey> but yet
<Pokey> they fired him
<bl4kwid0w> oO that's pretty harsh
<Pokey> well, to be fair, he lied about his sister having a baby so he could enjoy some alcohol with me
<Pokey> but still
<Pokey> they dont know that |
#40419 (158/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is now known as SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP <M1Garand8> Your nick reminds me that I need to sleep now...
<M1Garand8> Bye all...
* SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP is now known as DIEEEEEEEE |
#40412 (271/461) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nirv> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section |
#40400 (164/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Entro-P> sometimes karma comes back *way* too fast, i heard the wind howling outside and the rain whipping against my window, then heard a clatter down the street and someone shouting as they chsed whatever they'd dropped ... i laughed to myself, thinking haha it sure is windy ... then i remembered i still had laundry hanging on the line :(Comment: irc.freenode.net #nethack
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#40394 (11/313) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<strike_force> how big is the file?
<gabagoo> 7½ inches
<strike_force> my penis is not a file |
#40411 (70/218) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fuckerComment: the funniest thing you will read in a while
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#40409 (168/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
elvira_> i told my psychiatrist that i was feeling suicidal, now he wants me to pay on a cash up front basis |
#40381 (305/479) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<squeakymewmew> We lost power last night. A transformer exploded in the parking lot.
<PartiallyClips> Autobot or Decepticon?Comment: AIM convo
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#40380 (21/247) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
rebjudson: hehe, i'm the entire female contingent in your group of friends
Ilanbg: watch out then
Ilanbg: and now that i think about it, that was not funny
Ilanbg: only creepy
rebjudson: um, yeah... |
#40333 (216/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+HauntedUnix> Heard there's been an open-source explosion in Florida...
<+Nimbus> Oh?
<+HauntedUnix> Well no one there has Windows anymore.. |
#40297 (192/366) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rjx0r> long hair is kinda gay
<Rjx0r> especially on guys who have a feminine body
<Rjx0r> because sometimes you think
<Rjx0r> "hey, that chick has a nice ass"
<Rjx0r> and it turns around
<Rjx0r> and it's a spotty dude
<timmo> no thats just you rjx
<Rjx0r> I was hoping some of you would relate to that experience
<blueturtl> on your own there chum
<Rjx0r> damnComment: #geekissues
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#40309 (226/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* brit is now known as ILIKEPLANTERSNUTS
* defaulrt is now known as PLANTERS |
#40331 (321/493) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[Jyrka] A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. |
#40323 (224/346) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
02:45:47 [dbcalo] UK DOCTORS have discovered a form of hypochondria which is developed by surfing the web and misdiagnosing your own illnesses, according to a new study.
03:32:21 [Rn] i'm at a loss for words
03:32:22 * Rn googles
03:33:11 [Rn] oh my god i have Motor Neuron Disease |
#40308 (220/348) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Tik-Tok> I pay for one service that allows me to steal just about every other service I require.... the internetComment: Regarding paying for iTunes
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#40269 (87/243) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet |
#40241 (193/339) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the serverComment: irc.uq.edu.au
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#40211 (342/510) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no bonerComment: Just another day at the office...
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#40176 (125/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: yeah, like masturbation
Adam Atlas: Heh.
Adam Atlas: Go make the sound of one hand clapping.
Adam Atlas: I like that euphemism even better.
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: me too
Adam Atlas: My personal favorite, though, is "dealing with the issue at hand." It sounds very professional, in a cryptic sort of way.
Adam Atlas: "Please excuse me, I need to go deal with the issue at hand."
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: or you could put it in a letter
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: "Madam or Sir, we are sending this letter in regards to the issue at hand"
Adam Atlas: But what if the person asks what the issue is? It would be hard to respond
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: just say it's a "personal matter"
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe |
#40274 (130/286) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mog> I've always had a beautiful line that I've been saving
<mog> for whenever I announce a football game
<mog> "Like a pedophile in a playground, that runningback has been penetrating small holes"
<magpie> haha
<Wintermute> oh man
<mog> one day, gents
<mog> one day
<Wintermute> I'd suggest that to my bro(he's done HS football radio before, a couple games), but ... no
<Wintermute> I think he may want to keep his job
<mog> oh come on
<mog> it's hilarious
<Wintermute> yeah
<Wintermute> but mog, you must understand, he lives in North Carolina
<mog> good poitn
<mog> better change "pedophile" to "priest" |
#40240 (231/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pete> did yalll see the presidential debate
<pete> it was funny
<edisk> yeah
<edisk> my friend and i had lists of words we were counting for
<pete> what were they?
<edisk> like "safety" and "freedom" and "Saddam"
<edisk> but the winner was "[awkward pause]" |
#40223 (150/288) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JordanF> "Mr. Gates acknowledged today that the company's error reporting service indicated that 5 percent of all Windows-based computers now crash more than twice each day."
<cnb> the rest don't report
<nforbes> The other computers are all powered offComment: #dotgeek @ irc.freenode.net
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#40213 (139/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Jism> haha megaman_exe, you're pretty stupid
<%Ark> uh.. jism
<%Ark> what about the time your gf was around, you went to run to the bed and bounce on it but you tripped on your cat and went flying through your bedroom window shattering it to peices as you lay on the ground screaming in pain with cuts all over your naked body?
<@Jism> well, fuck, thanks for reminding me and telling 89 people in the process |
#40183 (53/209) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SpencerW> anyone not so cranky want to help with an experiment?
<+AndySoft> How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
<SpencerW> 3
<SpencerW> well
<+AndySoft> I didn't ask Mr. Owl.
<SpencerW> the limit of function (tootsie pop) as it approaches (finish) is 3
<@mokomull> No ... the limit of licks(tootsie pops) as (tootsie pops) approaches 1 is 3 :)Comment: Ask a stupid question in a calculator/math geek channel, get a stupid answer...
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