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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..189190191192193194195..596Next> |
#41178 (117/259) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<True> do you think that whether or not you jackoff affects your life
<eyecu> of course
<eyecu> think about all the ugly girls you might have had sex with
<eyecu> if you hadnt jacked off first
<True> that's such a good pointComment: #tribalwar irc.dynamix.net
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#41154 (197/349) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BoomBaBa> Meanie, sorry but I am not a fat 16 year old whose diet consists of pizza and hot pockets
<BluMeanie> I hate pizza
<BluMeanie> and we don't have hot pockets in canada
<mkart64> BluMeanie: why didn't you deny the fat part first
<BluMeanie> mkart, cause the food caught my attention |
#41142 (118/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ne0rC> I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.
<clonak> ....
<clonak> O_O |
#41135 (239/393) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Alman> we have this japanese foreign exchange student
<Alman> his name is kyo xavier sakagishi
<Alman> he's so cool
<Alman> he's beat every final fantsasy game ever
<Evil_Jesus> wow
<Evil_Jesus> that ranks right up there with getting laid i reckon |
#40981 (-3/343) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Argent-> You know why burning police cars smell funny?
<Argent-> It's all the coffee and donuts in the front seat.
<_Bob> heh
<_Bob> if a police mans inside does it smell of bacon?Comment: #stile
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#41103 (167/317) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Flippy_D is bored. And Tired. And sexually frustrated. And hungry.
<Pokehan> Play a game. Drink some coffee. Can't help you there. Eat.Comment: #ags on irc.quakenet.org
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#41086 (183/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ax1om> i used to get high on life
<Ax1om> then i built up a tolerance
<Ax1om> i had to start living a few days at a time before i got the same rush |
#41056 (87/205) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Hatman> Well that was fun
<@Hatman> At dinner, we usually watch tv, and as usual I am mesmerised by it..
<@Hatman> Well, I was trying to scoop some sauce out of a bowl with my knife...actually that was after I was trying to eat my food with two knifes, wondering why the fuck it wasn't working without realising..
<@Hatman> Anyways, I'm trying to scoop some sauce out of this bowl while watching tv...
<@Hatman> So my Dad goes 'Constantin, why don't you just use that spoon in front of you'...
<@Hatman> ..just when he said that a ad for Matrix, which is going to be shown tomorrow, came on, and I just said "there is no spoon"
<@Hatman> ..and he get's all pissed of and goes "what the fuck are you talking you moron, it's right in front of you"
<@Hatman> ..I'm done. |
#41041 (166/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* +Rabbitoh pokes and feels his index finger sink into kc's leg
<+kc8501> oooooh Rabbitoh!
<+Rabbitoh> :D
<+kc8501> HEY that's not my leg!
<+Rabbitoh> that's not my finger |
#41026 (51/163) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<UnkNoWnOne> u do what kinda graffiting ?
<Egofreaky> cartesian
<UnkNoWnOne> what the fuck is that >?
<Egofreaky> well, you get your X axis... then plot a set of distributed,
but linear, points along it... and then use it to find out the values of
certain 3 dimensional figures...
<UnkNoWnOne> huh ?
<UnkNoWnOne> whats ya tag ?
<Egofreaky> n^6/m2 |
#41012 (178/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ozzy> Mace?
<ozzy> Could you link me to a WMP10 d/l?
<Mace> Hi, I'm Google. I'm useful. |
#41112 (217/335) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<vsync> cool, just rented Brazil
<a_0001> inflation down there is that bad? |
#41108 (195/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<WeirdHat> so I went to the LOTR thing at the museum of science
<WeirdHat> when we were in the line to get in
<WeirdHat> there was a guy at the front with a microphone to tell us all the rules, no cameras allowed and things like that, blah blah blah
<WeirdHat> when he started, the volume on the microphone was set too loud
<WeirdHat> so he joked "THIS IS GOD" and then fixed the volume and went on with the telling us stuff
<WeirdHat> and when he was done
<WeirdHat> a little girl behind me said
<WeirdHat> "was that REALLY god?" |
#41104 (172/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Desh> oh god
<+Desh> my uncle found an abbandoned white kitten near a dumpster
<+Desh> but it has a little black spot right under the nose
<+Desh> named the cat adolf ;/Comment: irc.stickserv.net:6666 #stickcat
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#41098 (138/310) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<monertia> !list
<Maeg> Eggs
<Maeg> Milk
<Maeg> Toilet Paper
<Maeg> Soap
<Maeg> Beef
<Maeg> ToothpasteComment: #gigasquadteam on irc.quakenet.org
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#41090 (232/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
- redgreen [~rg@HSE-Toronto-ppp3478702.sympatico.ca] has joined #england
redgreen> howdy there
redgreen> yeehaw
redgreen> i am from texas
redgreen> anyone into bull riding?
Bite_> oh yes, highly popular activity in england |
#41070 (12/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DJvenom> ::::) spiderman |
#41054 (304/420) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[ engineer56] im learn python
[@selcouth] i'd suggest english |
#41048 (119/267) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Eurous Ventulus: You're more full of yourself than a masochistic cannibal. |
#41017 (-2/136) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DJvenom> bash sucks now, dude
<DJvenom> I dont feel like waiting a year to have my shit rejected |
#41000 (298/432) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good fatherComment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net
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#40995 (72/166) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION" |
#41030 (153/323) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@RIds) haha fourex i just thought of somethin youd find funny
(@RIds) when a stack of us went to byron on mid sem holidays
(@RIds) we had weed left over on the last day
(@RIds) and robbo mixed about 20bucks worth into a 2min noodles pack and made 'ganja noodles'
(@fourex) hahahahahaha
(@Rids) i passed out on a lounge and he apparently spent an hour 'trying to get all the gravity off me'Comment: #bc on irc.uq.edu.au
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#40983 (81/233) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Cochese: Facts, shmacts! Everyone twists their facts to make it look believeable and advantageous to their side whether you're a "liberal pussy," "right wing nutjob," or even a so called "unbiased observer." All I know is that my history teacher told me when I'd grow up, things would get a whole lot worse. And goddamn it he was right. Now I'm feeding him social security. Bastard! |
#40976 (168/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@allio> What she expected was a photo from a customer service representative to make sure her camera phone was working. What she got was a series of close-ups his genitals.
<@allio> is it just me, or would that make a great movie tagline? |
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