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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..187188189190191192193..596Next> |
#42095 (129/277) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KyleG> I know why aliens haven't landed here. They've seen the way we think of them on tv and in video games and know if they get close we'll just blow them.
<KyleG> *blow them up |
#42112 (156/352) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<glasnost> hmm, i've eaten too much chinese food, i'm becoming asian
<glasnost> :-)
<glasnost> :_)
<glasnost> ^_)
<glasnost> ^_^
<blah> also
<blah> 8======D
<blah> 8=====D
<blah> 8====D
<blah> 8===D |
#42057 (73/155) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Celestar> I almost got trapped yesterday
<Celestar> in a fucking car park
<Celestar> I was just paying, and suddenly the only gate began to close
<Celestar> so I ran up and found a photo sensor
<Celestar> luckily I always have duct tape in my bag
<Celestar> so I patched the light barrier with duct tape
<Celestar> to get my car
<GeniusDex> lol good work Celestar :P |
#42020 (104/244) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ShadoweOrbe> am i supposed to conduct with my penis?
<Mister_4> you could give it a go
<MichaelD> if its a really really small orchestraComment: #offtopic
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#41975 (51/153) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CXI> shit, I was great at minesweeper
<CXI> I should've been in namComment: #geekissues
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#41971 (69/197) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@tremor> i accidently downloaded some gay pron
<@Invictus`> and liked it?
<@tremor> it was of some dewd jerking off
<@tremor> and he like
<@tremor> splooged a gallon
<@tremor> seriously
<@tremor> wtf
<@Invictus`> you watched it?
<@tremor> I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GAY
<@tremor> STFU
<@Invictus`> HAHA
<@tremor> FUCK YOU
<@Invictus`> !setinfo <tremor> i accidently downloaded some gay pron <tremor> it was of some dewd jerking off <tremor> I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GAY
<@tremor> DONT SETINFO THAT
<@tremor> YOU'RE FUCKING DEADComment: <3 tremor -bishop
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#42060 (129/275) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Saikouro> they are showing a program about Analsex on discovery right now!!
* FURYO has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* GABATOM has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* dewit4 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<Saikouro> ROFLComment: #sushi
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#41997 (72/160) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ace_Reaper> ..i don't think god really will be happy with you burning the churchs
<Ste> He destroys them in floods and stuff all the time
<Ace_Reaper> yes but see thats HIM doing it
<Ace_Reaper> its like playing Simcity
<Ace_Reaper> you don't mind setting a hurricane on your city
<Ace_Reaper> but your pissed if one comes along naturally |
#41979 (477/651) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ToiletDuck> Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road.
<ToiletDuck> As I go in the washroom the first stall is taken so I go in the second stall.
<ToiletDuck> As I sit down I hear a voice from the next stall...
<ToiletDuck> "Hi there, how is it going?"
<FTW> .....okay
<ROFLcopta> riiiiihgt
<ToiletDuck> I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do so finally I say: "Not bad..."
<ToiletDuck> The voice says: "So, what are you doing?"
<ToiletDuck> Talk about your dumb questions.
<ROFLcopta> ...
<ToiletDuck> I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm just going to the bathroom, then I'm going back east..."
<ToiletDuck> Then I hear the person say all flustered:
<ToiletDuck> "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question - this idiot in the next stall answers me..." |
#41907 (37/159) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<influxsys> yea, gf is all pissed coz i insulted some fatties today
<n3cro> heh
<influxsys> it's ok though. i got my just deserts
<influxsys> we had just left the cinema and we were walking infront of these two huge fat bastards and could hear them talking
<influxsys> one goes to the other. "by gosh it sure is hot today"
<influxsys> i slyly said not thinking they could hear me "that's because you're a fucking fatty"
<influxsys> they totally heard me. one picked me up and squeezed the shit out of me while the other belted into my front organs, as i was quivering on the ground in pain the fattest one ran back and stole my fucking popcorn |
#41894 (127/269) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Equiv> I once thought as a child that if I could whistle well then life would be complete and worth living.
<Equiv> Then I realized that I can't whistle at all.
<Equiv> When I see a beautiful and intelligent girl dating a random idiot I sometimes writhe with nefarious intent and maleficent evil--until I realize that perhaps the random idiot in question can whistle very well, and it is his secret talent, and he has whistled for her, and that is why she stays with him. |
#41892 (127/285) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SyNMaN> IIII BEEELLLLIIIEEEEVVVEE I CAAANNNN FLYYYYY, I BBBEEEELLLIIEEEVVEEE I CAAANN TOOOUUCCHH THE SKYYYY
<@SyNMaN> although it might be the crack |
#41891 (85/215) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
LCobraG90: ok i pasted it like u said to
[I][c][e]: Ok, good.
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: >:)
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: keke
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Hiya
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: hehehe
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey again..
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hahaha
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Boo!
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
* Deranged highfives Icey
* [I][c][e] highfives Derry
Deranged: Who'd have thought he wouldn't notice the little 'on *:TEXT:*:#:{ /p $chan }' in the script we gave him? >:) |
#41868 (189/347) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pirengle> I belong to an on-campus all-female D&D group. My character, Damiar Longblade, got married to one of my hallmates characters, Sylva Atenel.
<Pirengle> Damiar kinda sorta knocked Sylva up, and then fell in love with her. He encouraged her to do things other than heal, and to enjoy life. (She's a cleric--he's a bard.) They finally get married.
<Pirengle> Sylva thinks she just got excommunicated from her church of healers. So she finally admits her love for her husband and attempts to seduce him. By taking the initiative for the first time in the relationship.
<jcompton> Huh. You find any time to go on quests and kill monsters and pick locks and stuff?
<Echon> JC: She said it is *female* group... Pay attention, please. |
#41867 (49/153) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<(dank)> so I was hanging at the bar last night, and I see what is possibly the ugliest man I've ever seen sitting close to me
<(dank)> and he's got his hand over his drink, looking around at everyone really suspiciously
<(dank)> I walk over and ask "what the hell are you doing?"
<(dank)> and he says: "someone might slip one o' those date rape drugs into my drink" |
#41862 (119/241) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<edward> they said that kerry didn't show much emotion, which is the same thing they said about gore
<edward> why do they need an emotional president?
<drochaid> so that he's crying when he pushes the button |
#41841 (81/201) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+achy) one of my mates is doing a psychology course
(+achy) shes studying stuff on drug dependancies
(+achy) anyway her textbook has 12 signs of being an alcoholic, and if you fit 10 out of 12 you are definitely an alcoholic
(@fourex) how many do you fit?
(+achy) my girls and I fit all 12 perfectlyComment: #bc on irc.uq.edu.au
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#41797 (0/170) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Larry__> Bush (Incumbent) 50%
<Larry__> CNN spelt 'Incompetent' wrongComment: #incomplete-chat
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#41708 (227/355) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<davidmccabe> I tried making a parody of crappy techno. The problem is, it's indistinguishable from real crappy techno. |
#41744 (-1/167) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zero_soul> except in #politics, which most pollsters have already called for Bush
<zero_soul> fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your view), #politics has 0 electoral votes.Comment: #elections on EFNet
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#41742 (-2/200) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* |silicon belches
* XoRt_ belches louder
< Cypholane> aah dont you just love geek talk
< Cypholane> if only i could understand it..Comment: #geekissues
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#41723 (65/183) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@IceWizard> hurry up!
<@IceWizard> someone make a website
<@IceWizard> "Vote for Kerry, Get a free IPOD!!!" |
#41716 (153/283) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<johnnyque> am i your private secretary?
<diddy> well i didnt buy you those kneepads so you could go skateboarding |
#41691 (89/217) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Andenno> My dog just farted, and the cat started looking in disgust. |
#41688 (8/208) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rdancer> frog_: *printf means ``those many functions whose name ends with "printf"'' at least in C, there are *many*
<||cw> my favorite is pprintf, it prints the first letter of any words where the starting sounds is a hard consant sound 2 times |
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