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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..179180181182183184185..596Next> |
#44377 (206/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Acid> In the song Silent Night, the lyrics go "...holy infant so tender and mild"
<Acid> Would you not infer that the son of God is a chicken wing?Comment: #offtopic
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#44362 (366/558) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Raticide> make install
<Raticide> oi you people
<Raticide> get out of my terminal |
#44352 (166/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jeriko> you know that community center down the street here in town?
<mattz> yes
<jeriko> they just started up a new small organization called People Helping Underpriverlaged Kids
<jeriko> i'm thinking of joining the lovely people at PHUK myself.
<mattz> lmao |
#44332 (60/156) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Ajlax1872: my dick has like this bubble on it, pretty small though...i dunno what to do.
ROFLMFAOCOPTER99: you were the one that got poison ivy on your hand when we went on the hike right?
Ajlax1872: ...
Ajlax1872 signed off at 9:25:31 PM. |
#44284 (100/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rhyswynne> can you overclock a vibrator? |
#44290 (75/159) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@killacockney) anybody know how good vantec stealth fans are?
(TurboDttL) i've never seen one |
#44255 (301/463) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
somebody124: so... wes and his parents are gonna be gone all weekend....
somebody124: he has an unsecured wirless network.....
somebody124: are you thinking what im thinking?
putdownthestick: we should steal his car!!! |
#44241 (107/215) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Dan> So here are two pyros comparing burn stories.. is this like the proverbial whipping out of the cocks, except for pyros?
*time lapse*
Jace> in chemistry class we were using bunsen burners, i took out a penny and decided to melt it
Dan> SWEET ASS
Jace> it was very sweet until i decided to cool it down in a beaker of what i thought was water
Dan> ..oh fuck
Jace> i mean the penny was melted...and i dumped it into a beaker of HCl
Dan> OH FUCK AND A HALF.
Jace> not only did it make a loud enough noise cooling itself down and getting everyones attention, but because of the heat change, and the fact that it was HCl, the beaker broke, spilling HCl, now hot because of the penny, all over. So it started eating away the table and floor and my lab coat.
Dan> Somehow I think your cock is bigger than mine.Comment: Ooh, fire.
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#44276 (278/426) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@TimJohnson> im going to try and cook bacon on my george format grill
<@TimJohnson> yeyah
* Dudette formats the grill
<%Sunbun> the George Format Grill: Knocks out the FAT32Comment: #theromcafe
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#44206 (230/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walkComment: Quakenet #funchat
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#44205 (33/231) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<EvilPasta> "<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter"
<EvilPasta> Bah, i got frreakin fired for eating a cheeseburger i stole |
#44247 (188/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<vhold> "a government mandated wireless protocol that transmits to the receiver how many calories and other nutritional information they will receive from their food purchase."
<Skud> vhold: wtf?
<vhold> I just made that up and put it in quotes to make more interesting |
#44174 (13/149) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< wasdeep> and i have "help" in my hilight list, which is annoying when people say the word "help" but aren't requesting help
* yawgm8th is listening to "The Beatles - Help!"
< yawgm8th> if somene kicked me in the nards i'd let out a loud whelp
< wasdeep> hehehehe
< wasdeep> stop it, bitch
< yawgm8th> i can't help itComment: talking about the /hilight command in irssi
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#44162 (233/427) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<&Segosa> :(
<+Mikal> Turn that frown upside down.
<&Segosa> ):Comment: #sysnode @ irc.sysnode.org
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#44155 (36/166) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tina_> ill have u know im very happy with my partner
<jeriko> sure, but does he know that we fucked 3 months ago you dirty little slut. but don't worry i won't say anything to russell
<tina_> im not sure if he knows. why not ask tina when she releives her MOM from the computer?
* jeriko (jeriko@pyramid.majic.org) has left #disturbed |
#44151 (83/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Alkaline2k> i have no soul after goatse
<Alkaline2k> it's like a black abyss that sucks in all joy
<Alkaline2k> and then it just ruins my day when i have to reach in there and take it back out |
#44142 (157/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Cenobite> I was self-employed, but my boss fired me
<Cenobite> that ass |
#44140 (64/158) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<biounix> i am building this little inventory system for work
<biounix> a side project because shit seems to disappear
<biounix> and we need to keep track of stuff right
<_stan> you need help with the fraud module?
<biounix> haha
<biounix> what type of fraud module?
<_stan> the kind that can pull shit out of the inventory so you can steal it, of course.
<biounix> nah
<biounix> i dont steal shit from work
<_stan> yeah, because you don't have a fraud module.
<biounix> hahahaha |
#44161 (352/504) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Areku> No wait, you don't understand
<Areku> I'm the incest guy here
<Areku> *nicest
<Areku> ... BAD typoComment: gaming.windfyre.net #SN-Sync
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#44145 (329/501) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Maurs> Got my first detention ever today :(
<Maurs> You know I go to a catholic school...
<Maurs> well we were discussing that new pope
<Maurs> Long story short, catholics don't like you goosestepping through the halls yelling "ICH BIN DER POPEN" |
#44129 (175/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
svladnecjelli: i am recovering from an end of the year drunk
svladnecjelli: i keep hoping that i will find a moderation gene
svladnecjelli: or evidence of it
MotorToad: you're irish
MotorToad: the only thing you can hope for in moderation is salary |
#44127 (146/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them." |
#44122 (103/193) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<michael`> i mean the whole idea of the separation of powers is that each branch of government will be power-hungry and try to grab as much power as possible by subverting the other two
<michael`> and they all, in theory, work against each other to produce an equilibrium
<Nithos> Heh, so if you're locked in a cage with a ravenous wolf, all you need is a pissed off tiger in there with you to keep you safe?Comment: #geekissues
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#44119 (142/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nitrix> So we have this really retarded blonde in our Chem class, and she had just gotten back from a Cruise in Mexico. Apparently she met JEssica Simpson on the cruise (She did have a buncha pictures with her). She was like "Yah! She's like really cool and not as dumb as everyone thinks, we had some cool conversations!"
<Nitrix> I'm like Yah sure ya did proily when like this:
<Nitrix> "What are you think about?"
<Nitrix> "Nothing"
<Nitrix> Oh my god me too! |
#44073 (174/330) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CaT> Is there A way I can put video files on my computer and then use my computer as a server. Also, if I can, is there a way to limit the total files sent?
<|darc|> No, you need a SUPER SERVER CHIP. They cost BILLIONS.
<FETUS> Don't tell him that darc. Cat you could get away with just a regular server chip and that will only cost a few million. |
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