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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..174175176177178179180..596Next> |
#45937 (120/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+optix> oh shit.
<+optix> the boss's boss's boss just walked in.
<+optix> heh.
<+optix> that was slick.
<+optix> good thing i minimised snes9x
<+abortion> what are you 'supposed' to be doing?
<+optix> i'm not sure.
<+optix> heh.
<+optix> but not getting my harvest moon character laid. |
#45903 (85/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thinman> we should start a compy porn site, with pictures of computers with their covers off
<@joseph> haha
<@joseph> like furniture porn
<thinman> Choose your fetish: x86 + x86 : x86 + PowerPC : x86 with RAIDs : RAIDs on RAIDs : Macs with two mouse buttons : Barely legal Laptops : Dirty Printer Stories : x86's with DUAL 22" Monitors! : HUGE Floppy insertions : Role PlayComment: #filter on SlashNET
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#45868 (175/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Como> You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
<SavageBasher> mine would be
<SavageBasher> damn I should have brought my camera
<Como> mine would be tilt back to try and get the car to land on its wheels, as it is in GTA
<Como> because if it lands on its roof it will catch fire and explode
<Como> after a few seconds
<Como> and its too much effort to punch in the cheat for the car again |
#45860 (45/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sirukin> linux linux on the wall
<sirukin> which boxed set of install package cd is the best of them all
<sirukin> windows windows on the floor
<sirukin> why do you suck and bend over for the drm whore
<sirukin> apple apple on shelf
<sirukin> why do you require so much wealth
<rattle> ...
<sirukin> rattle rattle in my bed
<sirukin> oh how I'd like to lay down your sweet head
<rattle> BSD ?
<sirukin> bsd bsd in the toilet
<sirukin> bsd sucks so no rhyme for you. |
#45859 (135/299) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kFraction> if only there was a captial "."
<sirukin> a capital period eh?
<sirukin> I'm not sure the females would enjoy that. |
#45855 (168/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-dmwaters/Wallops- Ok all, three machines going down
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 6 people quit.
<MrNightmare> uh oh
<Phlip> it's armageddon!
<Phlip> every man for himself!
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<spasmFace> War of the Worlds!
* Phlip picks up spasm and uses him as a meat shield
<Phlip> I count 3 splits...
<Phlip> hmm, maybe it's not as major as I made out...
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 37 people quit.
<Phlip> I retract my previous statement.Comment: #blenderchat on FreeNode
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#45845 (36/290) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DaMnHeDgEs: dude gtg
DaMnHeDgEs: laptop is smoking
DaMnHeDgEs signed off at 6:30:43 PM. |
#45458 (1/87) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> A German court sent to a psychiatric institution a man who cut off his own penis because of the incessant sexual demands of his wife, whom he then killed with the same knife.
<Rjx> they should send him to a stupid institution
<swight> bullshit? you mean there aren't tiny sentient beings that live in colonies in my fish bowl?
<timmo> YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX? *CHOP* HERE TAKE IT
<timmo> TAKE IT YOU DUMB BITCH
<Rjx> the weird thing is
<Rjx> he cut off his penis
<Rjx> THEN killed her
<timmo> i imagine he then started beating her with the chopped off penis
<timmo> and when that didnt work
<Rjx> should've just got one of those moulding kits
<Rjx> where you make a custom dildo
<Rjx> and then beaten her to death with it
<timmo> he stabbed her to death
<Rjx> yeah
<issuez> =\
<h4rm0n1c> with his "knife"Comment: #geekissues on EFNet
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#45867 (594/734) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nV`StOkE> If /quit and /connect are swimming in the ocean, and /connect gets eaten by a shark, who's left?
<ToiletDuck-pwny-> /quit is
<nV`StOkE> wtf.
* nV`StOkE has quit IRC (Quit: is)Comment: #pubmasters
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#45866 (62/148) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Di> i had to walk down to william st. there to drop off summit
<Di> so on this narrow part of the footpath, this fat, pikey, annoying bitch is walking against me
<Di> so i step off the footpath cos she wont
<Di> she bitches at me then, saying she could have turned sideways if i had the manners to ask
<Kaimera> in her pikey limerick accent
<Di> so I said "You turning sideways would have been counter-productive!" but she didnt get it! |
#45850 (82/224) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SporkOfTruth> My school's girls swim team was fuck hot.
<Slowking_Man> I propose that all girls' swim teams compete naked
<PFB-cleaning> me too
<TheStupidOne> better water dynamics
<Darkling> I second this motion \o
<Slowking_Man> No suits to slow them down
<Dukat> I third the motion
<SporkOfTruth> 4thed
<Dukat> all in favor say aye
<Slowking_Man> Aye.
<SporkOfTruth> AYE o/
<TheStupidOne> aye
<Darkling> Aye
<PFB-cleaning> Aye o/
<Dukat> the ayes have it
<Dukat> motion passedComment: #forum-m@irc.freenode.net
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#45873 (154/322) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
MRFX: that is first pair of breasts I have felt up in a while
Bobart: Having chicken for dinner?
MRFX: yea :(Comment: /me humps MRFX
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#45577 (114/314) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Thrashmeister> if a piano player is called a pianist, then why isnt a racecar driver called a racist?Comment: #dyo, irc.mediadriven.net
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#45815 (73/161) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women. |
#45574 (205/385) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<alex323> so i was like "hey mom what day was i born on"
<alex323> and she was like "march 23"
<alex323> and im like "thats my birth day how weird"
<saracen> what the hell do you think a _birth_day is?
<alex323> ooooh |
#45542 (103/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DarkArchon> You might be spending too much time on the internet when you find & play the shockwave games on the trojan condom website...Comment: irc.archspace.org #archspace 6666
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#45790 (111/227) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jasta> hehe, you know im officially a network admin of a 100% windows network? :)
<@jasta> it's so weird :)
<@jasta> i have no idea what im doing and its great :)
<@jasta> im constantly just sitting around waiting on Windows progress bars and stuff :)
<@jasta> and talking on IRC :) |
#45715 (117/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tigger> It is raining
* Tigger cups her hands together around her mouth
<Tigger> Hello! anyone home?
* Phoon finishes peeing off the balcony |
#45698 (149/243) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tamara> i can't decide if i'm hungry or tired.
<majcher> eat until you fall asleep |
#45697 (51/187) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mephistol> man
<Mephistol> i just got the best revenge on my brother
<Mephistol> he narced me to my mom over leaving dirty shit in teh sink
<Mephistol> now he has to lube up the dog's cock
<Mephistol> take that, fucker.
<AvgJoe> wtf?
<Mephistol> i told u i was hardcoer
<AvgJoe> why were the words lube, dog, and cock used in the same sentence?
<Mephistol> the dogs fucked.. oscar, the male, jsut got ass
<Mephistol> so his red cock is sticking out past the foreskin
<Mephistol> and if it doesn't recede, the foreskin will act as a tournequet, and cut off blood flow
<Mephistol> and lead to amputation of the cock head
<Mephistol> so to combat that, the exposed penis needs to be lubed up to slide back in
<Mephistol> that's where my brother comes into play
<Mephistol> YEAH, NARC ME MOTHER FUCKER, AND HAVE TO LUBE UP THE DOG COCKComment: irc.stileproject.com #stile
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#45668 (287/415) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Ebola> My last job was in CSR with a very small re-sale phone co. Once a month we were all expected to make collection calls to customers who were late with their payment. After several attempts one day to a particular number, a lady finally answered. Me: May I speak to ___ (customer's name)? Lady: He's not here. Me: This is ___, with ___Phones, your phone company. I am calling to remind you that your phone bill was due on the 5th and is in danger of
<%Ebola> being disconnected. Can you tell me when you will be able to pay it? Lady: .... How did you get this number? It's unlisted. Me: *blink*... Ma'am? This is the phone company. We GAVE you this phone number!Comment: #netroNet on irc.netronet.com
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#45629 (176/282) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RuKK0R: you know.. I was just looking at the official list of the most shoplifted items in the good ol US of A
RuKK0R: 1) painkillers
2) home pregnancy tests
3) razor blades
4) preperation H
5) baby food
6) condoms
RuKK0R: the first thing I had to wonder, upon looking over this list..
RuKK0R: if condoms had been higher on the list, would have baby food and pregnancy tests been lower?
jmlsteele: what I'm wondering is why is preperation H on the list.
jmlsteele: the rest "make sense"
jmlsteele: suicide, teen pregnancy, suicide, ????, teen pregnancy, to avoid teen pregnancy
jmlsteele: how in the hell does preperation H fit into that?! |
#45624 (232/346) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<snu`> i registered for fall classes
<snu`> >_<
<snu`> Chem 251, Eng 101, Math 113, Engr 107
<synth> ......YOU'RE TAKING ENGRISH? |
#45613 (139/275) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<makeboss> Thankfully though, the price of DivX rips has remained constant over the past 52 weeks, and will continue into the next quarter according to industry insiders.
<D-viant> well thats good news
<D-viant> I'm not sure I can deal with anything more than freeComment: #ramen
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#45596 (291/471) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jessica> ok back
*geek throws the stick again |
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