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#47160 (133/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Apollo7z7> your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver |
#47147 (225/389) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Capra Sesso Uomo: "President Maaouya Ould Sid'Ahmed Taya of Mauritania is overthrown in a military coup while attending the funeral of King Fahd in Saudi Arabia."
Capra Sesso Uomo: Haha, gotta love these countries. You leave them for a minute, and BAM...
Capra Sesso Uomo: I wish we could do that...
Capra Sesso Uomo: "I need to see Bush." "Bush isn't here right now." "Well...I'm president now." "Hmm...okay. I didn't really like him, anyway." |
#47143 (409/571) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<hdx> There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
<hdx> When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
<hdx> He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.Comment: #linuxgeneration
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#47140 (29/135) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Hezzy> i am going to give my girlfriend attention
<+Knifa> "attention"
<+Knifa> ...secks?
<@Hezzy> no
<@Hezzy> and she isn't very impressed by that comment Knifa, she is sitting next to me
<+Knifa> :(
<+Knifa> hi hezzy's girlfriend.
<@garry> sitting next to you stinking like a trout farm
<@Hezzy> :o
<@Hezzy> jahjahaaj
<@Hezzy> she hates you all
<@Hezzy> because of garry's comment just then
<@Hezzy> THANKS GUYS
<@Hezzy> NOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME TONIGHT
<@Hezzy> TALK ABOUT COCKBLOCK |
#47135 (453/581) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< zeon> typing drunk is hard
< feenyx> it's just five letters |
#47129 (36/310) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GenericLoser> We had to make up traffic signs in driver ed.
<GenericLoser> Some guy made a house shaped sign that said "Yo Momma's House Ahead". |
#47058 (270/460) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<morton> I have a hampster named Bukkake
<jeeves> umm... we were talking about routers
<morton> I know, I just had to get that out there in the open |
#47036 (160/330) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Darkhack> When I die I am going to have my family log me into to IRC with an away message of "afk-dead" and leave it on 24/7Comment: #planeshift
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#47009 (209/365) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<noisypop> meh what am I gonna do for 2 hours
<raw3> jack me off
<noisypop> then what for the remaining 1 hour and 59 minutes? |
#46763 (93/215) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Macks> holy fuck i just witnessed the coolest thing ever
<Macks> i was out on my porch smoking and there was some guy walking up the road with a bag of liquor
<Macks> this car pulled up next to him and i could hear this lady start lecturing the guy on how bad alcohol is
<Macks> the guy just stood there and was taking it, when out of nowhere the guy starts screaming random obscenities at her, he swings his bag of liquor and smashes it into the windshield
<Macks> you can hear the lady freaking out and screaming about calling the cops and shit, she starts to speed off and the guy picks up this huge rock and chucks it at the car, smashing the back window into pieces
<HOBBEs> ahahha serves her right
<Macks> moral of the story, lecturing a drunk will get you nowhere |
#46698 (194/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-dmwaters- {global notice} Hi all.... erm, that netsplit was my fault.... I accidently killed the wrong process on the wrong box. I'm very very sorry for that... Thank you for your patience, and thank you for using freenode... |
#46666 (78/178) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< tittyfuckosaurus> I love kidneys
< tittyfuckosaurus> not much else though, not liver or tripe or brains
< tittyfuckosaurus> or tongue
< tittyfuckosaurus> well, I like tongue, but only if it's applied to my penis
< bazzy> i'm the same with liver |
#46621 (130/228) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<rhppnrth> Skype is not a telephony replacement service and cannot be used for emergency dialing.
<rhppnrth> OH SHIT GUYS MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE
<rhppnrth> LEMME LAUNCH SKYPE
<rhppnrth> OH FUCK I'M NOT LOGGED IN
<rhppnrth> JESUS IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE |
#46518 (234/464) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mary_christine> is anyone else depressed today?
<James> NOT IF YOU ARE HAHAHA |
#46479 (200/392) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+bad_karma> Dude, are you deaf? I've been msg'ing you for 15 minutes!
<@Matsunaga> Yes, I am deaf. That is why I communicate exclusively on IRC, or else using a speech recognition program.
<+bad_karma> HAHA
<+baer> LOL
*** Matsunaga sets mode +b *!*@*.nyc.rr.com
*** Matsunaga sets mode +b *!*@*.bos*.verizon.net
*** bad_karma has been kicked from #anime by Matsunaga (Don't mock my disabilities.)
*** baer has been kicked from #anime by Matsunaga (Don't mock my disabilities.)
<@Matsunaga> I wasn't joking, you bigots! |
#46427 (200/478) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
watchcorytwostep: hey do you know the harry potter spoiler?
DvngMnky: Nope, sorry.
watchcorytwostep: no thats good. im not talking to anyone who does. my friend warned me, i've managed to avoid it for 4 days now.
DvngMnky: SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
watchcorytwostep signed off at 11:59:36 PM. |
#46655 (365/497) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<%PortoRob> i had a lot of spare time in algebra
<%spock1104> lol
<%PortoRob> i also made programs that did out the problems for you, and sold them to people in the class
<%PortoRob> they would try and cheat me though and only one would buy it and transfer it to others
<%PortoRob> so I developed a copyright system on TI83
<%PortoRob> it involved hidden lists and keys
<%spock1104> there's a way to limit it to the calculator ID
<%PortoRob> and if you didn't have the right key, all of the answers were just random numbers
<%PortoRob> the first test i did that on, people weren't very happy with meComment: #WPI
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#46638 (197/373) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<fr_gment> If "pro" is antonymic to "con," what is antonymic to "progress?"
<blarg> WTF is "con-gress?"
<blarg> Oh, wait... |
#46554 (75/239) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<robbi> me, christy, and carrie are all cancers
<sethism> cancers to society |
#46537 (211/387) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<farax> Silence time!
<farax> If anyone talks again after his/hre last line, (s)he gets kickbanned for a day.
<farax>his/her*
*** farax sets mode: +b *!*@*.nyc*.verizon.net
*** farax has been kicked by farax (SILENCE!)
<yoo> Definitive proof that females will be the death of us all... |
#46533 (143/333) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<korozion> on the weekend, we were at a bar, and I took my buddies girlfriends cowboy hat, and put it on. My girlfriend look at me and said "save a horse, ride a cowboy". From that point on, I have had a new respect for counry music |
#46505 (137/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<LiENUS> anyone ever have trouble with neopets.com crashing squid?
<korozion> LiENUS, not anyone over the age of 14, no |
#46482 (146/318) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<polychromophilia> I wouldn't be caught DEAD with a necrophiliac... |
#46506 (83/249) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<treb> what if the compy freezes?
<@Gertie> Get it a blanket?Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
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#46503 (178/334) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<L0rdG0h4n> SOMEBODY JUST SHOT A GUN RIGHT THROUGH MY BACKYARD FENCE
<Radar> Obviously they MISSED. |
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