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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..167168169170171172173..596Next> |
#48960 (170/394) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<RoboCurse> like one time we were talkin about pregnant sex
<RoboCurse> and this dude
<RoboCurse> blurts out
<RoboCurse> "its like sex with a mini handjob!"
<RoboCurse> 6 people leaving dennys hungry. |
#48908 (21/419) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@hydro|> fuck drinking
<@hydro|> imho
<@sxh> word, fuck drinking
<@hydro|> people get uppity when i say that
<@hydro|> because they think i'm trying to say getting stoned makes me better
<@hydro|> and i am saying that |
#48902 (161/339) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> "i wanted to install OS 9 to use classic mode on my laptop but since i already have tiger it said the file system wasnt compatible so i did a clean install and now it wont let me boot up into tiger"
<BlackDeth> "uh yeah... a clean install erases the hard drive." "you mean all my stuff is gone?" "yes." <shouting fuck many times> |
#48901 (146/350) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Darien> my beige mold has almost completely overtaken my green mold
<Darien> and the white mold
<Darien> and I can still see the red mold, but it's getting covered up pretty fast too
<WebDragon> ahh the Bachelor's Fridge ; home of the chia meatloaf |
#48894 (11696/16134) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@cripwalker> my girlfriend is so fucking cool.
<@cripwalker> we were arguing in IM last night about techtv being lame since g4 took over.
<@cripwalker> she thinks its better now that theres more "pretty" people on it.
<@cripwalker> that filter girl is, like, her idol.
<@cripwalker> anyway, i wasn't giving up. i really believe that channel to be a lost cause, now.
<@cripwalker> so she says to me "i'm gonna come over there and beat some sense in to you"
<@cripwalker> then she logs out.
<@cripwalker> about 10 minutes later, she pulls up in her car, runs into the house, walks in like she owns the damned place, and punches me hard as hell in the arm. no hello, or nothing.
<@cripwalker> then she leaves. didn't even say goodbye. i was totally speechless.
<@cripwalker> sure enough, 10 minutes later she logs back on.
<@cripwalker> she says "i knew you'd see things my way."
<@cripwalker> then she asks if she can come over to watch tv...
<@cripwalker> i'm sooo gonna marry her! |
#48892 (169/379) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
storm-shadow: damn it!!
storm-shadow: my computer has got some huge cock problems!
storm-shadow: not a regular problem... not even a big problem... no, that would be too weak a wording.
storm-shadow: this is a huge cock problem!
storm-shadow: when i open firefox, my comp freezes up for about thirty seconds.
storm-shadow: won't respond at all. i hit start, nothing. ctrl + alt + del, nothing.
storm-shadow: then thirty seconds later, all that shit starts popping up on me.
storm-shadow: that, by definition, is a huge cock problem.
snake-eyes: that is weird
snake-eyes: not your computer freezing, that's fairly common
snake-eyes: but, your choice of words does indeed frighten me |
#48832 (206/396) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> just a note to anyone here
<@Rjx> the yellow dye used in 2mg risperdal pills
<@Rjx> turns your semen yellow
<@Rjx> now imagine having to explain that to a chick |
#48810 (224/414) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Toba> fuck
<+Toba> I deleted the wrong file
<+Toba> yay backups
<%CompHobbyist> ahahaha
<+Toba> TAB COMPLETE IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND
<%CompHobbyist> no it isn't Twiz
<%CompHobbyist> errrrr
<%CompHobbyist> I mean
<%CompHobbyist> Toba
<%CompHobbyist> *&@#*ING TAB COMPLETEComment: #WPI
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#48809 (135/343) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Nyschashi-Seikun> wow
<Nyschashi-Seikun> this chick is REALLY fucked up
<Nyschashi-Seikun> she draws dickgirls repeatedly assdrilling men
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't think I like porn anymore
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and suddenly all thoughts of sex and nudity are beginning to make me sick
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't even want to see myself naked anymore
<Konpeito> You are weird.
<Nyschashi-Seikun> now that I think of it
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I might just be sick from drinking too much hot sauce |
#48808 (81/271) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Gamefreak1337: I hardly notice any diffrence between 500 kbits and this connection
Gamefreak1337: unless i'm downloading something |
#48754 (214/438) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<treb> what do you do to a command to make it run in the background?
<@Celestina> scare it?Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
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#48794 (177/307) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<fry> "winnt_accept: Asynchronous AcceptEx failed."
<fry> what?
<fry> okay.. the first result I get when I google for it is a forum entry telling me to google for it..Comment: #gscript
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#48786 (346/540) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<craptastic`> it's 3 in the morning, i'm drunk, and a bunch of my buddies bet each other to jump into a freezing cold lake while naked, the one who stayed in longest won the $100 bet
<craptastic`> so i strip down and jump into the lake, nearly dying from shock, when i turn around to see them grabbing my clothes and running
<craptastic`> being pissed i get out of the lake and run after them, i decide to shortcut it through the bushes, when i slip and fall on my back
<craptastic`> i get up and continue on, when about a minute later my sack starts itching and burning...turns out i fell into a patch of stinging nettles, got my balls, my crack and my upper back
<craptastic`> after i recovered my clothes, i spent the next two and a half hours hunched over on my couch whining like a baby as my balls burned to the point where it felt like they'd shrivel up and fall off
<craptastic`> this was a sign from god that i need to find new friends and get a life |
#48752 (364/532) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<RiPz> my uni has signs up in text and in braile
<RiPz> hlf the signs re just printed though
<RiPz> so theyre's just series of dots
<RiPz> in braile configurtion
<RiPz> but its still flat |
#48774 (-1/307) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Elsparrow> oh yeah... how do I register my nickname?
<@laggerzero> /msg nickserv register <pass> <email>
<+Elsparrow> k
<+Elsparrow> is <pass> a password or my nickname?Comment: #hothardware
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#48739 (493/707) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" |
#48735 (228/438) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Lurking) did you know that 62% of statistics are made up on the spot?
(Nick) did you know that joke is unfunny 100% of the time? |
#48657 (317/489) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<elrond2> 24 hour fitness is open 24 hours a day
<emitmai> at 3am they have a sign that says 'run around the block'
<emitmai> behind their closed gates |
#48646 (198/352) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
KNRListner44| my usb coffee heater is a bit slow ;x
Del-AFK| Powered from the USB port?
KNRListner44| mmhm
Del-AFK| that's a maximum of 400 ma
KNRListner44| ..
KNRListner44| lemme get the firewire 800 <-> usb adapater
KNRListner44| will more heat data get sent if it's usb 2.0?
Del-AFK| no
KNRListner44| was that an insanely stupid question
Del-AFK| if you're an electrical engineer it was. |
#48642 (394/538) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kogita> My car is doing better than ever. The gas tank used to hold $9 worth of gas, now it holds $13 worth. |
#48629 (139/333) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<melf> america is the best fucking country on earth
<melf> nowhere else can you have a life like you can have one here
<cheez> the date of expiration on that propaganda reads 1/1/79, melf |
#48613 (163/327) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<xcham> I got spam for penis enlargement pills today
<xcham> the sender name was "Freud"
<xcham> "... this is very interesting. perhaps my mother sent it to me"Comment: #adium @ freenode
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#48628 (317/521) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<timmo> i wonder how many child slayings are actually people coming back in time
<timmo> saving us from the next hitler |
#48616 (243/377) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<doopidub> euh, now compiling kernel
<doopidub> how long does it take?
<Phlip> doopidub: usually no longer than it takes to make a cup of coffee
<doopidub> okay, brb making coffee
<Phlip> as long as you include the time it takes to grow, roast, etc the coffee beansComment: #blenderchat on freenode
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#48610 (133/317) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Balumstorm> I wonder if I can get this code in the kernel
<daveb> DCC it to me
<Balumstorm> daveb: okay
<daveb> oh, this is some nice code, it should be accepted
<Balumstorm> Yeah, I found it in some old OS
<daveb> really?
<Balumstorm> Yeah, SCO or something like that
<daveb> ..... :( god I hope youre joking... |
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