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#49657 (225/401) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[Mediator] And there is this gel shit
[Mediator] that says do not eat
[Mediator] in big red letters
[Mediator] I think it might be like reverse psycologyComment: He has just bought a new heatsink, and is exploring the packaging
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#49653 (245/427) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<lsf> so we got a package from an online shop, we ordered some things
<lsf> and with the passage we also get an Ipod Nano
<lsf> and my mom goes like, they made a mistake and will soon come to our door again to request it back
<lsf> so the stupid bitch calls them and reports the mistake
<lsf> and the guy that answers says like,"damn lady youre stupid you could just keep the stuff"
<lsf> and i cried |
#49617 (213/387) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<seano> when I was 17, 17 year old girls seemed like the best thing in the world
<Scola> and they don't now?Comment: #uiuc
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#49634 (357/545) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Art_Vandelay> my sexuality should not be in question
<Art_Vandelay> I think you know which way I swing
<Art_Vandelay> -->
<KP> yeah, it's fairly obvious
<KP> i see you're pointing toward the userlist
<KP> composed entirely of males |
#49631 (106/284) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<insaneidiot> does ripping a dvd cause any phyiscal damage to the dvd?
<insaneidiot> ex. scratching
<Eric> ...Comment: irc.halomessenger.org #HM
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#49620 (200/390) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jmax> <@Jmax> lettuce.
<Jmax> <+cheeba> yo momma is like lettuce, 25 cents a head
<cythrawll> Your Mom is so fat, if she was a c variable, her initialization would look like this: yourMom = (TFAT*) malloc(sizeof(YOUR_MOM)); //Stack Overflow
<JugglingWolves> lmao |
#49596 (141/367) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Erika> fuckdammit
<shminux> hi to you too, Erika
<Erika> Hi shminux.
* Erika stabs things.
<shminux> 'sup?
<Erika> Oh, just a torrent I really wanted just died on me.
<shminux> ah... could be worse
<Erika> True.
<shminux> hmm, that being huggles, I could have said something more comforting
<cmantito> damn right
<shminux> well, say something... she is crying her eyes out here, cmantito
<cmantito> the torrent is in a better place#
<cmantito> it's in binary heaven now
<cmantito> jumping from seeder to seeder with ample bandwidth
<cmantito> with all the trackers it could EVER want.Comment: mWtNet, #huggles
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#49559 (316/466) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jakl> oh god that was not good
<Jakl> okay so my balls were itching right
<rat> I don't like the way this is sounding...
<Jakl> they wouldn't quit so i went into my wifes bathroom and got some anti-itch cream
<Jakl> i squeeze some out of the tube and apply it to my sack
<Jakl> it starts burning, and within seconds i feel like my balls are going to melt off
<Jakl> istarted screaming and my wife ran in and was like "what's wrong?!"
<Jakl> i explain my situation and she starts cracking up
<Jakl> as i'm standing there nearly in tears she grabs the tubee and points to the ingredients
<Jakl> the cream was mentholated
<rat> rofl
<Jakl> my nuts are still burning even after a shower
<Jakl> but the itching stopped |
#49574 (189/359) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
scythen32: i've messed around with truly skinny chicks before
scythen32: it's just weird
scythen32: like instead of love handles
scythen32: they have notched ribs for superior grip |
#49568 (616/842) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DJ-Mike> ATTETNION
<DJ-Mike> DJ MIKE
<DJ-Mike> WILL BE ON
<TempestxJuggalo> a dick
<DJ-Mike> IN A MATTER OF MINUTES |
#49543 (-3/267) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
TennisJump: how do the girls work so much?
G0T Y0U LAST 21: they force themselves to believe they will get a zit on their nose if they dont do it
G0T Y0U LAST 21: and that would be the death of their social life
G0T Y0U LAST 21: which, in working so hard, they end up destroying anyway |
#49491 (562/790) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<xkcd> Guy in line: English should be the national language, these immigrants should have to learn English when they come here.
<xkcd> Girl in line: Yeah
<xkcd> Guy: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. English is the language of the land.
<xkcd> Sarah Mac: (from behind in line) Excuse me, but -- osio sarah dawado.
<xkcd> Guy: What the hell was that?
<xkcd> Sarah: Cherokee. |
#49489 (413/567) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> LMFAO... Dude, I've been reading too much bash.org... You know how I'm resigning wednesday, right?
<0_o> yah, and?
<evilAdmin> Well, I figured I'd try something. I walked into the b0sses office and said, word fo' word, Gimme a raise or I'll tell your wife everything...
<0_o> okay...
<evilAdmin> I've gone fron $22.5/hour to $26/hour...
<0_o> wtf? It worked?
<evilAdmin> Maybe I shouldn't quit after all.. I wonder how many times I can pull that before he fires me :P. |
#49454 (121/349) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mrfredmann> dude at my school its so funn
<mrfredmann> there are these gangs of totally like gangsta black dudes
<mrfredmann> and they have this free like use compters for whatever the fuck you want room
<mrfredmann> and all these gangsta guys sit around there all fucking day using myspace |
#49453 (274/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kei> oh, anyone know how the hell to amke a sonic costume?
<Kei> my brother wants to be sonic for halloween, and hes been bugging me about it all fucking day
<Kei> i dont get it either
<Zem> paint yourself blue, roll around like an idiot and stay less popular than Mario. |
#49447 (144/376) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MrMog> god damn I hate overly "random" people who are thusly extremely predictable
<Kjiersz> heh
<MrMog> I wonder how you say lamp in french |
#49451 (277/427) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kulprits> wats te best way to test if a video card is faulty
<SoundLove> look at the monitor. |
#49442 (699/837) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<LOAF> So, I'm out back in the alley
<LOAF> I figure I'm alone, right
<LOAF> And it's completely dark
<LOAF> And I see a tiny round silhouette on the ground
<LOAF> Now, we've all been there: is it a coin or is it a splotch?
<LOAF> Do you bend over or don't you? What do you do? You have literally nanoseconds to figure it out.
<LOAF> But it was dark, damned dark, so the call was all the much harder.
<LOAF> And my brain gave the final instructions: coin, go for it, assume it is a coin.
<LOAF> And so I did.
<LOAF> And it was.
<LOAF> Which made me ever so pleased with myself
<LOAF> Which made me decide to do a little hop-and-spin and hold the coin up in the air
<LOAF> Which I did
<LOAF> And as I spun around and put the coin up in the air, there was a homeless guy digging through the dumpster, now staring at me.
<LOAF> And he clapped.
<LOAF> I offered him the coin, but he said I'd earned it. |
#49422 (89/287) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Gingetsuryuu) Arakasi: I bet that aint yur name.
(Arakasi) it is!
(Arakasi) just written backwards
(Arakasi) and with different letters ^^; |
#49412 (47/371) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Day changed to 09 Oct 2005
<@Pi> eh
Day changed to 10 Oct 2005
<@Pi> hi
Day changed to 11 Oct 2005
<@Pi> hi
Day changed to 12 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HI
Day changed to 13 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HI
Day changed to 14 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HIComment: We're very idle.
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#49419 (266/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
VinnysMafia: i usually find i can get rid of annoying people by holding up a ball and yelling "go long"
VinnysMafia: I dont know why it works
VinnysMafia: it just does |
#49414 (203/379) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Wildfire: im going to have wet dreams about a big red ox tonight
Daemonus: .......what
Wildfire: box
Wildfire: BOXComment: Reasons not to brag about your new PC case
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#49409 (61/273) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
--> stoichic joined #ampedout
* stoichic was promoted to operator by KOMPRECHU
* stoichic was promoted to operator by Eigenstat
* stoichic was promoted to operator by workstan
<workstan> it's like an ops-positive gangbang in here, man.
<workstan> and i got thirds :^(Comment: efnet #ampedout
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#49353 (159/339) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(hydro|): man
(hydro|): sara , my buddy's wife, the people i'm staying with
(hydro|): is playing my keyboard
(hydro|): and she's being FUCKING
(hydro|): ANNOYING
(hydro|): she's sitting right next to me on the floor
(hydro|): i want to punch her
(GerbilNut): kick her instead
(GerbilNut): that can be played off as an accident
(timmo): hydro
(timmo): heres what you do
(timmo): ive found it to be the best piece of advise for people who dont know how to play
(timmo): whenever they start playing their instrument
(timmo): or what have you
(timmo): find yourself an annoying instrument
(timmo): like an accordian
(timmo): and be like
(timmo): OH SHIT LETS JAM
(hydro|): haha
(timmo): and start making horrible noises
(hydro|): yeah that totally works
(eltopo): hahaha
(timmo): soon theyll stop |
#49395 (426/572) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<digi> I had written a Dune quote on my board this morning: "Truth suffers from too much analysis". Upon returning this evening, I saw that it had been changed to "ruth suffers from too much anal" |
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