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#51244 (321/507) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<the_fonz> i've been dating this chick
<the_fonz> it's been my most stable relationship
<the_fonz> i thought it would last a while
<the_fonz> TURNS OUT SHE'S MY COUSIN |
#51235 (199/357) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kookykman> Are you within driving distance of Boston?
<Phlip> Sadly, no.
<Phlip> Sometimes I wish Australia was driving distance from the US...
<Phlip> unfortunately that isn't to be :(
<Phlip> lousy government |
#51227 (166/320) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Dead Like One: You know, I've learned something from watching Episode III with Kenny.
A love revisited: Oh?
Dead Like One: "Don't mistreat droids." "Never trust a clone." "Don't make deals with sith lords."
Dead Like One: Things that will never help me.
A love revisited: Replace droids with menial laborers, clone with Catholic, and sith lords with cokeheads, and you've got some serious life lessons there. |
#51220 (77/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Zorro: what do I do if someone wants to Cyber me but there are people around?
Null: Never ask that again. |
#51198 (29/363) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Enjoi> I'm not going to stop a drug habit just because my life is getting in the way. |
#51167 (2/408) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
homerundude: i just had a fart that sounded like the drop sound on the computer |
#50946 (8/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Thuryn> i figure, carry the machine gun for business, and the rapier for pleasure
<Thuryn> but don't forget the dagger in both cases, for close quarters. and perhaps a 9mm ;)
<biform_3> i don't think we can be friends
<Thuryn> :( |
#51196 (163/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<farlax> damn... my GF had another prolapse... last night she was going pretty hard, and it just happened...
<yot> ...
<toowan> an anal prolapse? like mr. goatse?
<farlax> DAMMIT!!! RELAPSE!!! SHE HAD A RELAPSE OF HER ASTHMA SYMPTOMS WHILE RUNNING HOME! |
#51174 (247/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away |
#51077 (346/500) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@yt): i need something that symbolises my alter-ego. Bowler hat, briefcase, umberella, monacle
(@yt): etc
(rocksicle): your alter-ego is the penguin? |
#51058 (167/431) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk |
#51190 (283/403) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RPharazon> I was reading a rather nice article about suicide, and what the consequences were.
<GoneWacko> Well, generally, you die. |
#51176 (272/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
McKhaos: this guy asks me
McKhaos: how many people work in your company ?
McKhaos: my answer
McKhaos: about a third |
#51175 (242/360) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17% |
#51136 (1/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kode> .:.
<kode> ..:
<kode> :..
<kode> ....
<kode> ::
<kode> tetrisComment: #nodewar
|
#51100 (347/491) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh and silly putty
Wildfire: poop dries out to fast
donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought process |
#51083 (257/423) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
legames: you know what pisses me off the most?
dackattac: Goats that kick you when you finger their asshole?
dackattac: Er
dackattac: What?
legames: There wouldn't even be a market for the iMic if Apple just had headphone jacks like everyone else
legames: also the goat thing |
#51081 (178/350) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jestuh> ahh huge paper due at 9am and haven't even opened word yet
<@DigDug> start -> run -> winword
<@DigDug> [ok]
<@jestuh> sweet phase 1 is complete! |
#51013 (266/460) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Messiah: I've only heard one good dead baby joke
Messiah: And that's 'cause I made it good when someone else tried to tell it to me
Messiah: They said, "Hey, hey hey, how long's a baby last in the microwave?"
Sokar: idk. wanna find out?
Messiah: My response was, "Two minutes, forty-three seconds"
Sokar: haha
Sokar: nice
Messiah: They weren't sure how to respond to that
Messiah: So I invited them over for dinner |
#51128 (131/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<alb2550> All the text on my screen is blurring into dirty limericks and communist propaganda which means i must be really tired. |
#51107 (182/330) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Tim> WTF i have a spam email that says "porno golf"
<+Tim> oh shit
<+Tim> thats promo
<+Tim> nevermind
<+Tim> >_> |
#51089 (39/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Twyce_Dailey> u know... cheap body jewelery isn't fun
<AphonyDissnt> sure it is..
<AphonyDissnt> you can play "what's that infection"Comment: #20something on Undernet
|
#51086 (13/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<celti> right, sweet 16 goodness, here i come!
* celti fires up ZSNES
<celti> ...
<celti> 16-bit
<celti> I SAID 16-BIT!Comment: #snoopy/irc.double0.net
|
#51078 (13/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shifter> well, jenn just dumped me.
<Shifter> god damnit im gonna miss her..
<Spazz> Time to update alt.binaries.adult, right? |
#51075 (286/444) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Affinity> You're friends with james, therefore you must have a double-digit IQ.
<[i2]dErF> i dont have icq |
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