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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..153154155156157158159..596Next> |
#52107 (20/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
godtoe: What do you think of fat women?
Relient K 0587: Define "fat"
godtoe: ( . ) |
#52088 (160/394) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samuraisam> Whats worse than a cold toilet seat? A warm one. It makes you think "why is this toilet warm?". Then you understand that it is warm because.. |
#52103 (472/660) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sp3cial> haha, I was at Big W earlier and they had one of those display PC's running
<Sp3cial> it didn't have a mouse, but it had a keyboard.
<Sp3cial> my keyring is a USB pen drive.
<Sp3cial> long story short, WMP is now looping a 19 year old virgin getting pounded by a large tentacle monster.
<Sp3cial> and to make it worse, I unplugged the keyboard. |
#52091 (-3/453) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<snow> it's no surprise that "mixin it up" has the same number of syllables as "sucking some cock"Comment: #geekissues
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#52050 (46/338) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Freenode> <Renski> Thats weird, im more impressed that im talking with someone from another network, than I am with the fact that you could be anywhere on the planet.Comment: 'Freenode' is a relay bot from Freenode#winapi to EFnet#winapi
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#52003 (8/448) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sp3cial> well ok, shitty computer, I'd better not bump the desk or you might start making heaps of noise.
<Sp3cial> an smell like smoke...
<Sp3cial> HOLY FUCK SHIT FUCK
<Sp3cial> OH DEAR GOD FIRE SHIT |
#51996 (7/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RossEdge: anyhoo
RossEdge: im going to bed
James: i am not
James: GoF will be done in
James: 56 minutes
James: MUST WATCH
James: assuming it isn't gay porn
RossEdge: if it IS gay porn?
James: oh man
James: good thing i am the shift-delete king
RossEdge: youre not gonna watch it anyway?
James: what? no
RossEdge: damn it james...we're never gonna get into a QDB with that mind of thinking |
#52089 (204/384) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Epesh> danielle's rack isn't huge but she's well-formed, like an XML document with proper namespacing and closures |
#52087 (250/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@ALGORYTHM> got my road tax
<@ALGORYTHM> some sikh guy and his gf in the post office hate me now
<@ALGORYTHM> they started off, very long queue btw
<@ALGORYTHM> talking about the hair on his back :/
<@ALGORYTHM> bleh and i had to stand there and listen
<@ALGORYTHM> then they started talking about lost and wondering who dies in series two
<@ALGORYTHM> so i told them and they're like wtf
<+McFly> lol
<@ALGORYTHM> i said, i didn't want to know about the hair on your back and you didn't want to know about the spoiler
<@ALGORYTHM> so i think we're evenComment: still on season 1 in the uk
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#52076 (213/409) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SenReading> omg
<@SenReading> customer just called me over
<@SenReading> shes trying to look at her bank statement
<@SenReading> and there pops up about 3 fucking windows of porn
<@SenReading> which means my net nanny is fucked up
<@SenReading> my god
<@SenReading> i hope she has a sense of humour
<@SenReading> or a lesbian fetish :SComment: #sonata_arctica Austnet
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#52074 (408/562) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dogan> man, it's so nice to upgrade your camera from 16 mb to 1024 mb
<Dogan> pictures meter is just 9999 no matter what
<Dogan> it feels like i've picked up an infinite ammo cheat or something |
#52046 (145/367) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[@turk]: asked my boss for a raise at work
[@turk]: if (!$raise) { /quit } |
#52036 (8/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> I'VE HIT BOTOTM
<AlmtyBob> I went to download a scat porn off newzbin, and was afraid I might already have it 8(
<AlmtyBob> fuck...I do have itComment: #ramen
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#52000 (93/349) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Bringa is going through his collection of Spanish guitar music to find something suitable for DDR
<Highlander> DDR?
<Bringa> ¡DANCE DANCE REVOLUCION! |
#51987 (383/583) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DrakeChun: Thank God for apt-get
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: It truly is a gift from God.
thetguy01: "And on the Tenth Day, God said: LET THERE BE APT-GET! And so it was."
DrakeChun: The Tenth Day, 3 after he rested
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: The other two days were him trying to get linux to run. |
#51969 (239/397) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Retro> shit
* Retro just woke up
<Grath> Retro
<Grath> Why is it bad?
<Retro> I don't know
<Retro> but I'm not used to waking up, going to the bathroom to take a piss, and looking in the mirror to see my keyboard imprinted in my face |
#51040 (379/547) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chiby> base? is that another word for acid?
<spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam?
<chiby> tomorrow
<spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed |
#51035 (452/584) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> so guys
<Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow
<Rjx> as cheap as possible
<GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it
<Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it
<Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore |
#51033 (106/290) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SharpShooter> else if( $A['type'] ']']']']']== ']']']']']==']']']']==']']']==']']==']=='poll' ) <--- anything wrong with that line?
<@Gordon> Ya, I get kinda dizzy when I try to read it
<@Working> what the fuck. |
#51025 (192/380) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kiell> So I get a text message on Friday from a number I didn't recognise...
<Kiell> it reads:
<Kiell> "Hi agatha this is betty i do not have very many clothes to be ironed this week i am sorry but please can you come next week. i hope you are well. betty."
<Kiell> I ponder this for an hour or two, and then reply:
<Kiell> "That's ok, betty. I fucking suck at ironing. See you next week. Aggie." |
#50083 (333/569) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Code_Dark> Girl: so today was like our first offical date and it was like perfect
<@Code_Dark> wewt.
<@Akamu> It's a trap!
<@Code_Dark> !!!
<@Akamu> it's to perfect.
<@Akamu> I bet she's was once a man.
<@Code_Dark> ...
<@Code_Dark> hahahaha
<@Code_Dark> that would explain her erection.
<@Code_Dark> ...
<@pseudo> ...
<@Akamu> haha
<@pseudo> that would mean shes still a man.
<@Code_Dark> oh.
<@Code_Dark> that would explain my erection.
<@Code_Dark> ...
<@pseudo> ...
<@Akamu> hahahaha |
#51956 (277/449) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<coaster> i wrapped myself in a ton of bubblewrap once and jumped from the 4th floor
<irishlace> no you didn't... LOL
<coaster> yes i did
<irishlace> wtf were you on?
<coaster> well, i was on the 4th floor
<coaster> then the firstComment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
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#51913 (269/439) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Neon> Well, there's a surefire boner-killer. Watching porn on Windows Media Player and realizing that you have the MSN music plugin enabled, showing the girl you'd like to ask out soon the title of what you're watching. |
#51901 (318/490) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Canadian> so then
<Canadian> parts guy was like
<Canadian> cdn you want to see a naked pic of my wife
<Canadian> and I was like sure if you want to see my home made scat porn
<Canadian> and thats how the rcmp came to my house and put me in jail
<hydrok> canadian
<hydrok> i have one question for you
<Canadian> i had beer for breakfast
<hydrok> ok answered |
#51899 (193/363) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* WC` has to get really good at GT4 by monday
<ScrubEXE> Whys that
<rsltne> HE HAS BEEN CHALLENGED BY THE GODS.
<WC`> fastest lap time in the university = next term's tuition paid
<Tinsle> o_o |
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