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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..151152153154155156157..596Next> |
#52723 (123/275) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ripzone> What do women & condoms have in common?
<Ripzone> They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
<Yomama> i dont get it ???
<Ripzone> ...
<Yomama> is it because of aids? |
#52717 (143/269) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-!- Vyk [~Vyk@dhcp19.public.ummu.umich.edu] has quit [Ping timeout: 198
seconds]
<@orange1> that would be vyk spilling root beer on his powerbookComment: he works in the cube next to mine. he yelled some might loud profanities.
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#52694 (145/245) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zurvan> well, I am off to my final, bye all
* zurvan is now known as Zurvan|drunk |
#52676 (51/199) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@bonez_> Beer.
<@DrmCtchr> sex
< shizzy> titties
<@DrmCtchr> money
<@DrmCtchr> and drugs
<@bonez_> bandwidth
<@DrmCtchr> good point bonez
<@DrmCtchr> bandwidth before drugsComment: EFNet #seattle
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#52675 (82/184) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* ShakespeareFan00 asks if the channel has a sanity filter....
<FreplySpang> ShakespeareFan00: yeah, any sanity gets filtered out before you see it |
#52657 (36/276) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Glowsun: did you hear about evel knievel's latest stunt?
MrMoog_: no?
Glowsun: he's going to ride through ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back
MrMoog_: XD XD XD |
#52635 (95/227) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@r0bby> you suck all of you
<+mite\> * [r0bby] +#gaygeeks #bimb0 @+#queers @#efnut #psychotic @#asexual #gaypeople +#M-a-t-h
<+mite\> apparently you do tooComment: #efnut [at] efnet
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#52748 (4537/5075) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that I would use a slideshow on afterwards.
<jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean?
<jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up.
<jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly.
<jesterlo1> FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER HAS "SET AS BACKGROUND" NEXT TO "SAVE IMAGE"
<jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face.
<jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying as my background.
<jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox. |
#52718 (248/334) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HypnoGenX> I know about as much about mobile phones as I do about girls.
<HypnoGenX> They're both noisy and frightening, yet they make me want to touch them. |
#52667 (191/317) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kronus> AAAUGH
<kronus> HOLY CRAAAAP
<kronus> HEEEELP
<kronus> the heat in my house won't turn on
<kronus> and
<kronus> the temperature in my room right now is 57.3 F :/
<kronus> and
<kronus> i'm out of firewood
<kronus> so
<kronus> i have 4 ways to stay alive: F@H, P95, BF2, or HL2
<kronus> which is more processor intensive? |
#52648 (210/308) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof. |
#52628 (170/296) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
blazewing: DUDE WHERE IS HE
amier (dead): right there mofo
blazewing: IM OUTTA BULLETS QUICK HOW DO I RELOAD
blazewing: HOW BITCHES TELL ME
amier (dead): F5!
blazewing: ITS NOT RELOADING
kayanami: LOL
blazewing: THANKS MOTHERFUCKER I'M DEAD YOU BUNCH OF FAGGOTS ARE THE WORST TEAMMATES EVER
amier (dead): Oh, you were talking about the game? I thought you meant firefox |
#52624 (45/211) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shadda> Explaining the concept of referential integrity to a mysql user is like explaining condoms to a catholic |
#52608 (156/270) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
arap816: hmm, so i just got back to my dorm after leaving in a hurry saturday morning
bob3: yes?
arap816: and i think i just summarized friday night with one question to my roommate
arap816: "why is there a doorknob on my desk?"Comment: It was a serious question, and it's still a mystery.
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#52606 (115/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< specsmu> ohhhh that reminds me
< specsmu> after I went to petsmart I went to panda express
< specsmu> I ordered my food, went through the line
< specsmu> keep in mind I'm 6', full beard
< specsmu> the lady looks at me, and says "can I help you, maam?"
< specsmu> so I said in a really loud voice, "wow, they call me maam on the phone all the time, but never in person"
< specsmu> she apologized... so after I called her "sir" once, I dropped it. |
#52517 (127/289) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
23:02:28 <@murderdeathkiller> is there something wrong with a girl who doesn't shave?
23:02:33 < Rutger> No, there isn't
23:02:40 < Patrick``> it's perfectly natural.
23:02:46 <@murderdeathkiller> that's curious. in europe it's like, no, that's cool
23:02:57 <@murderdeathkiller> in america it's like "I WANT YOU TO BE BALD LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OL DOWN THERE BABY"
23:03:23 < Patrick``> I'd rather have wispy hair than stubble
23:03:34 < Patrick``> it's like "this vagina has the texture of rambo's chin" |
#52660 (164/282) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Log> Ugh...
<@Log> Don't ever jump into a car like they do in the Dukes Of Hazzard.
<@Log> Unless of course you WANT to get sodomised by the gear shift. :( |
#52590 (211/299) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm |
#52518 (144/318) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
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#52452 (183/313) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, you're information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott has quit (Quit: )
<Ricky> :O
<Ricky> God damn, that was a good one.
<moo> lol
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, your information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has left #g-masters
<moo> o_O
<Ricky> Hahahah
<moo> do you know him?
<Ricky> Nope.Comment: Paranoia is fun!
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#52438 (100/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Anagon> me,mimi and aaron drinking outside pub
<Anagon> girl comes over selling LED pendants
<Anagon> asks if i wanted to buy one for my girlfriend
<Anagon> "she's worth a pound fifty isn't she?"
<Anagon> and i hate getting heckled, specially using a girl against me
<Anagon> so i replied "i dunno.. how about 1 pound forty nine?"
<Anagon> managed to piss them both off at once ;p
<_Mj> lol
* Anagon got her it in the end |
#52463 (239/373) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DB> Oh god - what the fuck do they put in absinthe? i only had a couple and I feel like I've been raped by a camel..
<Rust_Bunny> It's meant to be taken orally .. |
#52444 (160/334) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
rancor1985: this porn sites 404 error is in spanish
pez805: OMG YOU CAN SEE HER PAGINA |
#52440 (202/366) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Franchise> there were 4 girls working at each security check point at the airport in tokyo
<The_Franchise> 2 were handling bags and stuff
<The_Franchise> 1 was checking the xrays
<The_Franchise> and 1 was there to bow to you after you walk thru the metal detector |
#52431 (358/586) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
The topic of #ChristanSingles is *The touch of christ is an everlasting gift*
<Masatuna> i noticed that topic has been here for a while and just stopped in for a question...
<Kirt> shoot :-)
<Masatuna> can you show me where on the doll he touched you?Comment: Banned #ChristianSingles
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