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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..150151152153154155156..596Next> |
#52798 (161/319) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lemmiwinks> omfg i took this shit 5MEO-AMT i got off this research chem website its like LSD but woah haha
<DaFool> what web site?
<Gewgle> haha drugee
<Lemmiwinks> hold on im gonna get some juice
<DaFool> NO WHATS THE WEB SITE!
<Gewgle> its been like 20 minutes prolly kicked over lol
<DaFool> bs i wanted that site lol
____________________________________________________________________________
5 hours later
<Lemmiwinks> ok back sorry had to use bathroom
<DaFool> dude that was like 4 hours ago
<Lemmiwinks> no way omg
<DaFool> hah that good huh?
<Lemmiwinks> dude this juice is warm i jus poured it
<L1nuxFox> wtf is he talkin bout
<Lemmiwinks> OMG ITS 9pm! wtfComment: Exerpiments with Japanese Chemicals
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#52794 (137/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Haplo> Just in case you guys didn't believe me yet.
<Haplo> The client bringing the desserts and drinks for the party just showed up.
<Haplo> This is an office of TWELVE PEOPLE.
<Haplo> And he brought:
<Haplo> two cakes, a cheesecake sampler, two bags of Lindt truffles, one of those large containers of cookies from the grocery store, two containers of fudge (one peanut-butter), mini-cupcakes, and four bags of assorted holiday candy (Twix, Crunch, Kisses, etc)
<AdP> Wow. That's a sugar coma waiting to happen.
<Fusilliban> Yes, and I must claim it as mine.
<tanuki> IS THERE A DENTIST IN THE HOUSE?
<Haplo> We're next door to the dental school yes.
<tanuki> Haplo: sure they didn't bribe the guy into bringing that much sugar?
* tanuki grumbles about his missing pastamastery
<Haplo> Actually tanuki, the point is that the guy is trying to bribe US to buy more of his products.
<AdP> Yeah, from the spread, I'm guessing the client is in the insulin business. |
#52786 (89/241) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BigOne> Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
<BigOne> If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
<BigOne> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
<BigOne> If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. |
#52778 (-12/238) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
rcfalcons07: proof why chuck norris is my hero-
rcfalcons07: Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. |
#52771 (28/180) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(actionshrimp) my friend said he had the gaelicum.a virus, and the first thing i thought was gay lick cum, does that make me queer? |
#52978 (40/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
CP8948: I am going to hurt myself jerking my bow like that...Comment: she plays violin..
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#52958 (136/268) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Junithorn> Well, I've come to the realization that America really needs to convert to metric..
<Junithorn> I was down in NY visiting a friend and we decide to drive back up to Canada
<Junithorn> So ok, driving along the highway in the US, 60 MPH whatever, 80 MPH... and then we cross the border and he sees the sign, but doesnt see the KMH... 120.
<Junithorn> I didn't even think his car went that fast
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#52782 (33/195) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Twyce_Dailey> ok, i now officially have the coolest cellphone ever
<Twyce_Dailey> i have, for a background, a stopsign with "hammertime" spraypainted across the bottom, for a ringtone, Can't Touch This, and for an SMS alert, M.C. Hammer saying "Stop, Hammertime" |
#52767 (71/187) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
anotherpadawan42: I just upgraded my web hosting and now have 408 megs of free space
QreepyBORIS: Ooooh
anotherpadawan42: Dude I nearly jacked off looking at the free space pie graph. |
#52702 (91/221) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
GOTENKS75: i cant believe I have started listening to emo
GOTENKS75: should I just kill myself?
GOTENKS75: actually no
GOTENKS75: that would be the emo thing to do |
#52688 (76/238) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King. |
#52687 (118/236) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rieger> The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. |
#52659 (146/322) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%Syntax> better !pout !cry
<%Syntax> better watchout
<%Syntax> lpr why
<%Syntax> santa claus town
<%Syntax> cat /etc/passwd >list
<%Syntax> ncheck list
<%Syntax> ncheck list
<%Syntax> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<%Syntax> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<%Syntax> santa claus town
<%Syntax> who | grep sleeping
<%Syntax> who | grep awake
<%Syntax> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<%Syntax> for (goodness sake) {
<%Syntax> be good
<%Syntax> } |
#52830 (119/219) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ryeenae: what's up with Vossoughi's wierd accent?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iranian
ryeenae: so, where is she from? Irania?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iran, dipshit |
#52827 (77/185) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PHOENIXFORCERUL> danish is german or spanish??
<benne^> it's danish ;) you know, Denmark.
<PHOENIXFORCERUL> owww
<PHOENIXFORCERUL> they have their own language??
<PHOENIXFORCERUL> damn |
#52807 (67/181) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@K) patches to 1.1
(TurboDttL) I'm a pirate so I use iPatches |
#52800 (66/180) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
liam: No worries though, toronto is supposed to have the best water filtration program
liam: just like chernobyl was the best nuclear pwer plant
boylizard: heh
liam: or the titanic was the best ship |
#52788 (173/277) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zien> ah i love water. it's like nature's fruit juice.
<cgom> ....FRUIT JUICE is nature's fruit juice. moron. |
#52787 (150/262) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Musket> is there an echo in here?
<ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
<FessyBugger> in here?
<Kajifox> here? |
#52781 (50/194) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
renegadeaven: I finally figured out what DDR is.
renegadeaven: It is reflex training for Japanese fighter pilots.
renegadeaven: They are planning to attack Pearl Harbor again. |
#52765 (121/243) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Maxor> you know you're addicted to world of warcraft when you hack onto a temple's wireless internet with your laptop, which is you also have two batteries for, to do a quest with a friend in China during your younger brother's bar mitzvah |
#52745 (59/207) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
dackattac: I found GTA demoralizing until I got into the story.
dackattac: Suddenly that wasn't the emulation of my thumbs acting on my whims, it was the character of a thug in the life of crime on his own terms, and the missions were simply part of the plot.
legames: holy christ
legames: that's hilarious
legames: it's about punching hookers
legames: everyone knows thatComment: On Grand Theft Auto - Vice City.
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#52744 (171/287) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file? |
#52741 (57/267) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stan> life just isn't complete until you can do a line of blow off the back of a girl you're anally violating while she's decapitated.
<Eigenstat> stan, dude, that would be impossible. The post decapitation reflex is STRONG. Every muscle spasms like FUCK about 5 seconds after the spinal cord is severed.
<stan> god, it's not like she'll squeeze my dick off.
<Eigenstat> no, but she'd ruin the line, man.Comment: efnet #ampedout
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#52735 (181/283) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kufat> I wonder how ebay gets results for every keyword on google
<Kufat> ebay: We'd like to buy some adwords.
<Kufat> Google: Can you be more specific?
<Kufat> ebay: * |
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