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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..148149150151152153154..596Next> |
#53187 (168/364) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Irennicus> Long story short
<Irennicus> Steph and I were having sex
<Irennicus> And as I start to shoot
<Irennicus> I screamed PROTON CANNON |
#53184 (229/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<keith> 10 dollars on shipping and handling for a domain name
<keith> wtf
<keith> there is no shiping on a domain
<keith> fucking idiots
<keith> WHAT IDIOT PUTS SHIPING PRICES ON A DOMAIN OR WEBSITE
<keith> Shipping
<keith> to CAN
<keith> you cant ship a web address
<Renegade> they ship you a receipt
<Renegade> and a note
<Renegade> saying that you're a dumbass for paying shipping
<Renegade> on a domain name |
#53153 (124/280) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Durandal> you said you'd be right back
<+r0bin> yeah
<+r0bin> An hour an ten minutes is "right"
<+Durandal> ah
<+r0bin> Espescially since my average "bbl" is three to four months
<+Durandal> heh, that's for damn sure
<+r0bin> :P
<+Durandal> of course i've been known to disappear for a year
<+Durandal> or more
<@kefx> r0bin: haha
<+r0bin> Durandal: that's my "afk"Comment: #metawire
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#53151 (7879/10397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again
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#53148 (218/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<leif> last night, we were at WalMart, and this dude was playing the 360 demo station..
<leif> and we watched for a bit
<leif> he was getting his ass shot up
<leif> so Mike says "Let's go somewhere else, this guy fucking sucks"
<leif> the kid slammed the controller and stormed off with tears in his eyes
<leif> i was like.. "Sweet, now I can play" |
#53028 (288/538) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fr_gment> better !pout !cry
<fr_gment> better watchout
<fr_gment> lpr why
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole >town
<fr_gment> cat /etc/passwd >list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<fr_gment> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole > town
<fr_gment> who | grep sleeping
<fr_gment> who | grep awake
<fr_gment> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<fr_gment> for (goodness sake) {
<fr_gment> be good
<fr_gment> } |
#52768 (117/273) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< specsmu> calculus and women go hand in hand
< specsmu> it's applied calculus to find the area under a curve. |
#53147 (145/267) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so...do you think i can get in trouble for this scheme:
<Fool|NO-HTTP> i can cancel pick 3 and pick 4 tickets
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and if i sell a $2 ticket there is a chance to instantly win $10
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so i can buy a bunch, and cancel all the non instant winners
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and make $8 per
<s4f3_m0d3> say hello to federal prison for me
<Fool|NO-HTTP> not federal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> it is a state lottery
<s4f3_m0d3> so state prison then
<Fool|NO-HTTP> if i messed with multistate lottery i may get federal issues
<Fool|NO-HTTP> but i fail to see what is illegal about it
<Fool|NO-HTTP> they just left a HUGE loophole
<Fool|NO-HTTP> buying tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> canceling tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> afk, cops are here
<s4f3_m0d3> afk for the next five to ten? |
#53100 (133/319) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Vent> if I ever get drunk and can't get it up in bed I'll tell her erection reset by beer |
#53098 (202/346) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zmeiat_joro> soo..is it dangerous to use audioscrobbler/last/fm if you listen to a few things you haven't actually bought
<orospakr> nah
<orospakr> I doubt it
<shen> it is!
<orospakr> is it?
<shen> I tried using audioscrobbler with some songs that I downloaded
<shen> and I fell down the stairs. |
#53079 (257/393) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping... |
#52843 (214/352) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Nick) baaahahahahaahhaahaha
(Nick) my mom just said "the frosty the snowman cartoon is a political allegory for communism"
(Nick) because the magician is refusing to give up his possession for the good of the society
(Nick) and in the end the commies win |
#51034 (334/464) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass |
#53071 (0/246) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<divinesnake> You know you're a nerd when you would rather sniff 1gig of ram than a hot girls bra.Comment: #ramen on efnet
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#53056 (91/205) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pushplay> she probably would never survive phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey could pass phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey with a head injury even
<Xianmas> if you don't "get" truth tables, you don't belong in the human race
<Xianmas> that should be the eugenics test
<Xianmas> show truth table for A AND B
<Xianmas> A B A /\ B
<Xianmas> 0 1 ?
<Xianmas> if ? = 0, you die
<Xianmas> err
<Xianmas> 1
<Xianmas> OMG!!
<dalor> Xianmas: you filtered out your first idiot |
#53055 (78/238) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<m[a]cky> I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself. |
#53053 (74/260) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Morton> Joke time.
<Morton> What has legs but can't walk?
<sid> A statue?
<@onix> a table
<Morton> A CRIPPLE! |
#53043 (86/238) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MajorDeath> Anyone else having trouble connecting to the forums?
<Chuck_F_Norris> I know what your trouble is.
* Chuck_F_Norris roundhouse kicks MajorDeath in the face.
<Chuck_F_Norris> Problem fixed.
<MajorDeath> doh
<MajorDeath> nope, that didn't help!
<MajorDeath> do it again
* Chuck_F_Norris roundhouse kicks MajorDeath in the groin.
<Chuck_F_Norris> I can't fix ugly people, but i can prevent them from making more. |
#53032 (242/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<coldradio> if you are gonna rip on green day for being "lacking in creativity" or some other shit like that, what is so special about what you are doing? are you making music? are you getting up on a stage in front of thousands of people and performing songs that have over a hundred notes to be memorized? no.
<whoopiecat> you don't have to be able to cook to know that something tastes like shit |
#53031 (176/334) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[DragonOutlaw] I have a crazy website/irc idea
[DragonOutlaw] shit my elbow
[DragonOutlaw] I hit it on the desk
[@dragoonz] I like it!
[DragonOutlaw] ASSHOLE DESK
[%ForgottenSin] THATS GENIUS |
#53023 (165/287) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[JRJohn] here's a bit of info about me: i went on steroids when I was in gradeschool so I wouldn't stop breathing and die, same time I grew a couple feet.
[WeirdAl] john: I've always had two feet |
#53006 (3/215) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ell: buzz tracker.
Ik: I almost asked what buzz tracker does.
Ik: But then I remembered, I have the internet.Comment: The student has learned to Google...
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#52996 (107/227) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Zot: Fascinating shit.
Zot: Did you know that male spiders, instead of
copulating with females, will place their sperm on a
web, dip their jaw appendages into it, and then stick
their jaws into the female's vaginal opening?
Zot: I can't wait to use that as a pick-up line.
Zot: :)
Jillness: omg
Jillness: lol
Jillness: Im so gonna borrow that
Zot: It's not a facial; it's spidersex! |
#52991 (135/273) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Maniaman> bah
<Maniaman> i forget how to spell maintenance
<Maniaman> wait nevermindComment: #gscript at irc.freenode.net
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#52986 (126/248) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<vect0rx> im so sick of job interviewing.. is there a freenode chan for that?
<Erwin> Would you say job interviews were your greatest weakness? And if you joined that channel, where do you see yourself after 5 years on it?Comment: ##C@Freenode
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