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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..143144145146147148149..596Next> |
#54419 (20/368) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Malekh> Farts make me sad
<ridger> do you believe that all your happy is escaping? |
#54417 (366/558) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Grimthorn> yay for tacks having a girlfriend!
<Tacks> thats in the paaaaaaaaast.
<Rhett> she's not jokin thar, grim
<Grimthorn> neither was i
<Tacks> i tried taco, and i prefer the sausage. ...if you know what i mean. eh? eh? wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more?
<Grimthorn> haha
<Malekh> I prefer sausages over tacos as well
<Tacks> ...
<Malekh> Oh wait.. we're not talking food
<Tacks> >_< |
#54388 (9427/11427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Oni] FUCK!
[Oni] I'm just about out of black ink
[Krypton] printer?
[Oni] No, the type I disperse to run from predators. |
#54412 (447/611) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tommy> and if you're wondering why I was silent, it's because I just tried to open a 14mb file in firefox by hosting it on the same machine
<Tommy> it hasn't finished loading yet
<Mz> so... on one end your pc was working on loading it, and on the other end it's sending it?
<Tommy> yeah
<Tommy> <Firefox> this is a message to 127.0.0.1 on port 80, I want a 14mb file please
<Tommy> <Apache> Someone's calling on port 80! I better send this 14mb file to 127.0.0.1
<Tommy> <Firefox> I'm having difficulty running all of a sudden, someone's using all the memory
<Tommy> <Apache> I can't send this thing fast, someone's lagging the CPU
<Tommy> <Windows> Fuck this shit, I'm going to bed. |
#54400 (735/865) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hawk09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<hawk09>yeah.i sent them to her dad |
#54387 (291/523) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Thero> WHAT THE FUCK
<Thero> i just got yelled at for eating ham
<Thero> WHY ARE MY PARENTS PISSED ABOUT ME EATING HAM
<Thero> i didn't eat the ham to begin with
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a plane?
<Thero> no?
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a train?
<Thero> ....
<|silicon> did you eat it on a bar?
<wind> did you eat it in a car?
<hydro> did you eat it in a box?
<hydro> OR WITH A FOX? |
#54372 (323/451) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< zid`> the faster you go the slower time is
< zid`> you lose like 20 ns flying supersonic to america
< zid`> something like that
<+WhiteWolf> 20ns!??!
< syc> no you don't.
< syc> you lose 4 hours on the tarmac.
< syc> 2 hours in security. |
#54362 (460/578) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story
<raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it
<raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom
<raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her
<raela> or at least, not the father
<raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D |
#54315 (348/520) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<er> So a Mafia boss is on his death bed, and he calls his grandson over
<er> and he says, "Son, I'd like you to have my gold-plated revolver."
<er> But the son replies, "You know, grandpa, I don't really like guns. Can I have your Rolex watch instead?"
<er> The boss says, "Listen to me, son. Some day, you'll be boss of the family, have a beautiful wife and a big house.
<er> And then, one day, you come home and your wife's in the arms of another man.
<er> What are you going to do, point to your Rolex and say, 'Time's Up'?" |
#54313 (192/388) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dewfus> I'm hungry...let's eat stuff!
<Hoop> Hooray!
***Dewfus is now known as Dewfus|Cake
***Hoop is now known as Hoop|Soup
***Shack_Wheel is now known as Shack_Wheel|Cheese
***Moflucker is now known as Moflucker|Pussy |
#54312 (398/522) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<markos_64> GreyKnight: any idea on what to do with a router that screams on contact with holy water?
<markos_64> it seems to have real fun dropping, duping, or delaying my packets
<GreyKnight> Carefully open the cover
<GreyKnight> Poke inside with a screwdriver
<GreyKnight> Dodge any sparks and/or angry ancestors
<markos_64> Bob already suggested that i use a hammer
<GreyKnight> Then, replace the cover
<GreyKnight> and very very carefully
<GreyKnight> sell it on eBay to some poor sucker and buy a new one with the proceeds
<markos_64> shut the fuck up. i already bought it on internet auction.
<markos_64> i'm not going to ever do it again.
<GreyKnight> See? It worked for the previous owner. |
#54349 (243/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Sol> is your call of duty "free"
<@Razgriz> if by "free" you mean "Obtained by multiple illegal acts"
<@Razgriz> then yes |
#54338 (267/445) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Alex: whats cyanide?
GrimMisfit: it's what emo kids take for depression |
#54336 (105/351) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
«+ LassUlike » CTRL + ALT + D1337 |
#54322 (472/604) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stereo``> you know
<Stereo``> maybe the statistics faculty is not the best group of people to play poker withComment: #geekissues
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#54306 (368/566) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Daszoeb> wtf
<Daszoeb> some girls shouldnt be allowed online
<Daszoeb> seriously
<Daszoeb> she goes and buys a wireless router
<Daszoeb> takes it out of the box
<Daszoeb> it doesnt work
<Daszoeb> so she calls support
<Daszoeb> I ask if the power cord is plugged into the router
<Daszoeb> she responds "no I threw the wires away - I bought a wireless product"
<Daszoeb> then when I told her we need a power cord in the unit
<Daszoeb> she got all pissed and asked why the case said wireless
<Daszoeb> after 5 minutes of mindless debate I "accidently" pressed the mute button and after 10 minutes she hung up |
#54292 (152/368) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Retro> I always wonder if people who watch anime are all playing the world's longest practical joke on the rest of the world |
#54288 (369/493) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nero> Hey, C, have I by any chance told you my story about the Amish buggy?
<Gwendolyne> No.
<Nero> Once upon a time, me and a bunch of friends are headed to my friend's house about an hour away. We get off the highway, and because we're in Bumfuck, PA, we end up, behind, of all things, an Amish buggy.
<Nero> So we're behind this stupid-ass Amish buggy for several miles, and it's going at like, 10 MPH or some shit.
<Nero> And then it makes a turn into a store.
<Nero> Guess what store.
<Gwendolyne> Walmart?
<Nero> No.
<Nero> Advance Auto Parts. |
#54270 (200/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@ALGORYTHM> myspace is like goatse but for web designers |
#54264 (168/400) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* BigToe comes out of the closet
<BigToe> I'M BISEXUAL!
* Swishy cuts bigtoe in half and puts the other half in the closet |
#54252 (147/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<minion> a kid tried to kill himself today at school
<legoman> tried? what went wrong?
<minion> he tried to hang himself and the rafter broke
<legoman> what sort of shoddy-ass structure was he in?
<legoman> a tent? |
#54251 (68/278) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Syntacs> Ah ha! I figured out what you should do with your giant porch, Wazm.
< Syntacs> Buy a bunch of cubicle dividers, and rent it out as apartments to about 15 Japanese salarymen. |
#54235 (174/342) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Styx> it hurt like a bitch, but apparently my pubic hair is stronger than duct tapeComment: #bored
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#54228 (294/498) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mizerock> lucas, judging by your IP...you live in new zealand?
<nforbes> ...
<nforbes> The Netherlands
<nforbes> .nz is New Zealand
<lucas> Mizerock, judging by your latest statement, you live in the USA?Comment: irc.vaccus.org #main
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#54224 (284/478) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<EFX> I saw a black guy with a shirt on the other day that said " keep staring, maybe I'll steal your car " |
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