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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..144145146147148149150..596Next> |
#54219 (165/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sijmen> I've seriously got a serious problem, and you're the only ones who can help me out.
<sijmen> Tomorrow there's a presentation for school (somewhat important) and I don't have a suit!
<Kimani> Suit * newSuit = new Suit( SuitType.Black );
<sijmen> Kimani, that throws a MoneyShortageException..Comment: #gamedev on Afternet
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#54161 (234/440) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU |
#54222 (-4/362) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jonathans> dont you hate it when you got a drink and the ice cubes fuse together like two little balls at the bottom of the cup
<@jonathans> now i know how it feels to give a blowjob upside downComment: #geekissues
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#54151 (140/352) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Diamond> But then again, as a programmer I'm obsessed with code that just plain looks good.
<Diamond> I want to look at code and go "You are a beautiful woman"
<Diamond> And then, I make love to it by adding on to it.
<Diamond> I'm a very romantic programmer. |
#54148 (228/456) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mivalekan> why are most girls so insecure about their weight
<Produkt> becuase theyre fat
<finn> because they are fat |
#54135 (238/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Geeky1: Jaguar V12s make baby jesus cry. They are, hands down, the biggest fucking mess I've ever seen under the hood of a car in my entire life
(...10 minutes later...)
Godzilla941: i think i finally found the dipstick
Godzilla941: it's like where's waldo for mechanics |
#54117 (196/402) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Chongablonga) this guy i know was convinced he could breakdance
(Chongablonga) so we always used to be like 'john show us some breakdancing' and he'd just hurl himself at the floor and spin on his face |
#54088 (10335/11967) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME
<Dogan> SO my teacher's friend's friend or something
<Dogan> She was dogsitting one day
<Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the floor, right?
<Nightryde> how embarrassing
<Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
<Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it in a freaking SUITCASE
<Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train through Chicago
<Zeelot> oh mannnn
<Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
<Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
<Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things"
<Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE CASE
<joebot> ROFLMAO ROFLROFLROFL!!!
<Zeelot> OMG ROOOOOOOOOFL
<Nightryde> AHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???Comment: True story.
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#54081 (329/521) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> the big bang doesn't explain a lot about the internet
<Rjx> internet?
<Rjx> universe
<Rjx> what the fuck |
#54062 (523/677) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<frew> I hate it when people don't spell or adhere to proper rules of grammar on the Internet...
<frew> Why can't one take an extra two seconds to proofread?
<frew> It's not like your reading an essay...
*** frew has been kicked by fr_gment (Your = Possessive pronoun; You're = Contraction of "You Are.") |
#54060 (5/271) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
DarkSnake > if you have sex for several years would that qualify you as a sexologist?
chsh > I had my sexologist license for a bit, but it was revoked. :S
DarkSnake > quit practicing huh
chsh > I do however have a double doctorate in Ballgrabbery and Advanced Masturbatory StudiesComment: irc.unerror.com #lobby
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#54059 (93/267) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mmap> i have a mormon friend that i corrupted, he'll drink a beer with me now :P
<_Arthur> Hey, I'm a Catholic (lapsed)
<Feldegast> _Arthur so do u or do u not belive in little rubber things?
<mmap> pencil erasers? |
#54036 (221/401) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+lax> i feel like an asshole
<+lax> at lunch we couldnt decide if this person was a girl or boy
<+lax> i said it was a girl
<+lax> and so we all chipped in a dollar
<+lax> and someone went over and asked
<+lax> and she started crying |
#54037 (241/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Happy_Dot> So my dad and I were reading readers digest, and there was this ad for some apocalypse book. It said "The end is near! Dont delay! This book will tell you everything you need to know! Hurry!" Then, at the bottom of the page, it says : please allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. |
#54010 (349/509) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sara> I've discovered that there are certain things that I just can't say without people saying "No, it's just not right when you say it"
<Sara> Like I'm too nice and innocent or something :/
<The_Taped_Crusader> sara
<Sara> hmm?
<The_Taped_Crusader> just imagine your dad saying "lol hax" and you'll understand.
<Sara> Oh godComment: dchub://404hub.no-ip.com
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#54006 (247/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Schkirpow: So the other day at the grocery store, I got a fantastic idea
Enervine: What was that?
Schkirpow: Well, I got a huge shopping cart full of stuff I needed
Schkirpow: Then hid the cart behind some of those cardboard stand things
Schkirpow: And then took 10 items at a time to the 10 item express lane
Schkirpow: And I got them bagged, put them in another hidden shopping cart
Schkirpow: Then kept going until I had paid for everything
Schkirpow: The cashier got pissed, though, and she asked me why I kept coming back to the express lane instead of going to a normal line
Enervine: hahaha, what did you say?
Schkirpow: Because I was 'in a rush' |
#53962 (71/281) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<warbird> omg... the latest ooga-booga critical super important must install now security patch from M$ didn't require a reboot!!
* warbird faints |
#53959 (208/378) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drehiel> I tried to get info on Jesus
<Drehiel> (16:13:34) -NickServ- Jesus has been forbidden and may not be registered or used.
<Drehiel> But God is allowed...
<Drehiel> Holy shit
<Drehiel> NickServ is an orthodox Jew
<Drehiel> =X |
#53949 (125/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rep> What do I say to my Mum when she discovers I bombed 26 days of meds in six fucking hours?
<kdogground2> Time flys when your having fun.Comment: Yay for medication.
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#53935 (175/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
helf: rofl
helf: apples closing stock price today was 80.86
helf: LOL
JonathanThompson: Now *that's* irony of the finest kind :)Comment: today they announced the new x86 macs.
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#53924 (474/618) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<triavox> :( i just missed an oppurtunity for being laid and got slapped in the face instead. anyone want to hear about it so they can humiliate me with their laughter?
<mj_> hahahah triavox
<SuperJuan> hell yeah
<triavox> this chick from my old high school came to my door at 8:30 asking if she could borrow a bar of soap(btw she lives like two BUILDINGS down from me so im thinking 'wtf is she doing all the way over here asking to borrow a bar of soap??"). so im like "uh yeah sure one second, wait out here".
<triavox> so i get the soap and give it to her, she goes "thanks" and just stands there. im like standing there.. my mind is blank. so im like "ok." and close the door. ten seconds later she knocks again and gives me back the soap and shouts "GET A CLUE DUDE!" so im says "what the hell you talkin about?" and she just laughs and walks away. only NOW do i get it, and i feel like breaking something. |
#53901 (10/324) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<galisus> I think I realized I'd never touch Linux again when I was like.. "Holy shit I never have to deal with X11 EVER again.."
<galisus> It was like my first blowjob all over again.
<galisus> Good times. |
#53899 (213/431) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NeCRoPedOPhilE_SuicideCULT> how to change my nickername? |
#53876 (338/502) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
darkkittengod: whats ur favorite kind of asian?
spectr060: female |
#53875 (358/506) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Heartless_Bitch (~goth@dsl-216-227-72-216.pivot.net) has joined #net.goth
<Sofa> Hey guys, meet my ex |
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