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#57733 (282/444) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FlaVouR> BTW Jewel == a South African Buddy of mine
<pinin> i figured you two knew each other since you are the only ones in the country with internet
<FlaVouR> pinin dont make me set my lion on youComment: #geekissues
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#57655 (595/767) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck |
#57608 (325/537) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
#57593 (208/434) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Steck> Oft, your not welcome here
<Oft> bullshit
<Oft> they all want me here
<Carcer> Steck, you have no right to say whether or not he's welcome here
<Steck> Really?
<Steck> Why not?
<Carcer> Because this isn't your channel, you douchebag?
<Steck> How about, this is my IRC network
Steck is ~Steck@netadmin.neverwinterconnections.com * Steck
<Carcer> Yeah.
<Carcer> That would be a good reason for him not to be welcome here.
<Oft> I could take you with one hand
<Steck> Still want to argue Carcer?
<Carcer> Ugh, I need to start reading hostmasks. |
#57554 (203/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MarkTheMeS> Sharon Stone looked a little like Kelly Ripa on Letterman the other day.
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> she reminds me too much of an aunt of mine. so kinda creepy.
<MarkTheMeS> Single aunt?
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 5 kids married
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 6 kids*
<monolithblue> wow, that was fast work
<MarkTheMeS> yikes
<Junk> she just shoot out another one?! |
#57710 (442/570) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<orph> sigh, the sucky thing about open source is that people don't tell you when they're ripping off your ideas
<stuart> orph: just do what i do
<stuart> know that all ideas are yours and expect that everyone else is ripping them off
<orph> stuart: what a good idea. i'm glad i thought of it! |
#57670 (174/378) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TMH_> hmmm-mm
<TMH_> there really is no feeling quite like a new razorblade
<Rjx> that sounds like a linkin park lyricComment: EFNet/#geekissues
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#58069 (550/696) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shinakuma> what res do i have if i have 1280x1024
<kaiser_justus> shinakuma: what kind of fruit do i have if i have a lemon?
<shinakuma> i dont' know what
<shinakuma> lime?
<shinakuma> kaiser what is the answer
<shinakuma> oh citrus fruitComment: #kawaii-radio !
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#57852 (375/505) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<werro> damnit :/
<werro> my dad found my porn
<Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn.
<werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/
<Bob112> Um, like, neither did I |
#57848 (270/470) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yoshi> 28. [Harvest Moon 64] What is the name of the puppy that the potion shop owner and his grandkids kept?
<Yoshi> Here's a hint, J
<J> wat
<J> wats my hint |
#57802 (-11/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Join: Spellbot
<Spellbot> New Service: Spellbot!
<Spellbot> As per user requests, a spelling robot has been created.
<Spellbot> It will offer corrections to common spelling/grammatical errors. |
#57648 (305/421) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Pan Man 120: you know what sucks?
Pan Man 120: i thought yesterday was april fool's
Pan Man 120: so i went around april fooling people
Pan Man 120: and they were like "its not april fools dumbass"
Pan Man 120: but i thought they were trying to april fools me
Pan Man 120: so i didnt look at a calendar
Pan Man 120: this would explain a lot
Pan Man 120: i was like "get a fucking new line guys its getting old"Comment: April 3rd
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#57641 (316/518) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NiteHawk> My mom just caught me masturbating.. Dammit...
<Mikkel> Ah well, everyone does it man. Shit happens
<NiteHawk> Yeah but while I was about to blow the dog ran in, I was trying to push the dog out of the room when my mom walked in.
<NiteHawk> Lets just say its not a good site one hand on the dog, the other holding a kleenix full of jizz, and my pants half down.
<NiteHawk> The look on her face dood, she was mortified.
<Mikkel> >.< |
#57445 (27/329) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ozzybard> i had to get a new hdd today because the old one died on monday. Been so busy it has taken me this long to getting around to proving it
<lightguard> does it have porn on it yet?
<lightguard> i am of firm belief that all new hard drives should come with porn
<lightguard> it saves time, cause it's only going to end up on there later anyway
<ozzybard> that is probably why my old drive died... no porn
<lightguard> it has been conclusively proven that the life of the drive is directly related to the amount of porn on the drive
<lightguard> its like viagra for hardware :D
<Pyah-pyah> The more porn, the higher the chance of the drive crashing and consequently losing all that porn?
<lightguard> no, oddly enough.
<Pyah-pyah> That is odd
<lightguard> porn seems to have an effect on the stability of your system
<lightguard> for optimal running of windows XP, i recommend all Dell PC's be shipped with an additional 120gb drive filled with porn. |
#57564 (335/549) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> so if pantera would be considered too heavy for you might as well go put on some hawthorne heights and go cut slits in your arm while you cry about the boy that dumped you
<splice> that is beautiful.
<splice> slight point deduction for letting on that you know an emo band name
<BlackDeth> invalidated by the fact that you obviously know it too |
#57433 (139/357) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<moira_> I am currently installing japtalk support on lap-top
<moira_> so I can write "can I tuch ur boobs" in japa-nese
<pamplmoose> jokes on you the only japanese speakers who have boobs are white men |
#57424 (155/363) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache |
#57411 (287/549) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> you know what i do in case of a flaming?
<Rjx> stop
<Rjx> drop
<Rjx> and rofl |
#57407 (503/669) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SC> holy fucking shit today sucked
<da_boot> why? beer_supply:Boolean == false?
<SC> No not that. Some family was staying here till' they move out.
<SC> They have a pet mouse. Long story short, pet mouse escapes...
<SC> Pet mouse wonders into the bowels of my HP K Class server (a 6x SMP machine, ~150kg).
<SC> SC turns on K Class mainframe. Mainframe spins up EBM Blower turbines.
<SC> Mainframe complains that the rear blower is under-speed.
<da_boot> omfg
<SC> No more mouse. Just gibblets. Nice, juicy giblets. Family isn't too happy with me ;_;, death by HP mainframe. |
#57392 (118/386) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LabMonkey> for that matter, the unhappiness of *any* animal is never cute
<sektie> except java coders.
<LabMonkey> While members of the animal kingdom, insects do not qualify as “animals” in my book.Comment: #bifemunix
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#57383 (406/542) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
weird_aunt_martha: ok...so I'm at work today...
weird_aunt_martha: I sneezed. And there's a guy across the wall from me, in a different department. And he hollers over the cube wall 'Martha? My conference call says bless you' |
#57319 (323/553) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ozy is now known as ozy[suicide]
<ozy[suicide]> BRB
<Spack> Ozy must be a BuddhistComment: #almea on freedomirc
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#55479 (18/504) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bronze> You are in a maze of twisty little politicians which claim to be from different parties but actually are all alike...Comment: in Freenode/##Linux
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#56136 (-7/691) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thefwf> There was a black out in my area yesterday
<zarkyb> Did you kill him? |
#57297 (295/473) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BigBuddha> alia: is there any command to see if there are any usb devices hooked up to your system?
<@alia> get off your lazy fucking ass and look at your usb ports?Comment: #chules.net @ irc.shellsnet.org
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