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#74555 (589/815) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<micksam7> spling isn't back yet
<micksam7> he was suppose to be home today
<micksam7> hm
<micksam7> maybe he needs to be like.. lured or something
<micksam7> like in that pokemon game or whatever. you need to like, put something out to get them to come or something
* micksam7 thinks
* micksam7 ties some toast to a string
* micksam7 sets it on the floor and hides behind a couch 2 feet away
* spling joins #stats
* micksam7 has just caught a spling! |
#74294 (334/568) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< lucky> Okay.
< lucky> We're going to enter into a pact.
< lucky> I will not use :P again for the rest of the day :P
< lucky> that's 40 minutes for me.
< lucky> :P
< lucky> oh god
* lucky shoots himself. |
#75146 (2579/3287) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
{11:59pm} <Killane> </2006>
{12:00am} <Killane> <2007>
{12:00am} <Killane> I've been waiting a year to do thatComment: Happy New Year
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#73499 (63/429) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<qedft> So I'm a nerd right
<qedft> And I was playing counterstrike 1.6
<qedft> Which I made a (buggy) mod for
<qedft> And so I had no life at all
*** cached sets mode: +b *!*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** qedft was kicked by cached (stop repeating yourself) |
#75285 (346/490) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Buck> a religious discussion on digg is like asking which power ranger is the strongest in kindergarten |
#74646 (457/671) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@zeleftikam> man, i am so dumb. you know how sometimes food makes a popping sound in the microwave?
<@zeleftikam> well i was microwaving something
<@zeleftikam> and after a minute or so
<@zeleftikam> it made a pop
<@zeleftikam> and im like
<@zeleftikam> ah well
<@zeleftikam> food does that
<@zeleftikam> then it started going fucking crazy with pops
<@zeleftikam> like almost constantly
<@zeleftikam> and i got freaked out and ran over to the microwave
<@zeleftikam> then i remembered i put in popcorn.Comment: #null
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#74613 (209/421) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
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#74549 (617/795) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cached> What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?
<cached> A polar bear. |
#74606 (322/560) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ecks> I'm so virgin, there isnt even a word to describe how much sex I have not had. |
#73869 (273/459) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GuyBridge> My mom wont let me get the wii because she thinks I might use the controller as a vibrator or something
<GuyBridge> >_< |
#73308 (160/386) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< orange9> someone make me a margarita
* Dethboy makes orange a Dethboy Margarita
< orange9> how you make yours?
< Dethboy> well... its a shot of whiskey and a beer but i am wearing a sombrero
< Dethboy> i despise tequila |
#74791 (182/398) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+ASD5A> theoretical problems are boring
<+Dextrose> like whether your girlfriend should use birth control pills or condoms? |
#73370 (702/856) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
madskz: i' tried ass fuck
takefive: Ahaha
takefive: wait, why?
madskz: what??
madskz: oh shit
madskz: *i'm tired as fuck |
#73364 (2877/3257) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<titan-x> hey everybody
<Lowkey> hey john, where the fuck you been?!
<titan-x> i was in a wreck in my friends car. snow and ford explorers do not go well together
<Lowkey> holy shit
<titan-x> i got alot of morphine though
<titan-x> apparently the first night they had me on the drip i managed to wriggle out of the restraints i had on because they noticed me acting weird after they put me on the morphine
<titan-x> according to the nurse i spoke to, and accounts from my wife after she woke up, i was running up and down the halls, with the morphine IV still attached and the bag dragging behind me
<titan-x> and as this was going on, she tells me i was yelling this:
<titan-x> "THE COMMUNISTS HAVE CONTROL OF GRAND CENTRAL STATION AND THEY WILL BRING THE COMMIE TRAINS TO TOWN! WE MUST WARN THE MAYOR CHOO CHOO"
<Lowkey> w..t..f
<titan-x> that was kindof my reaction when she told me. i really cannot put my finger on that one. |
#74752 (271/507) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Swisho> sometimes when i see handicapped people with their hands in a really awkward position
<Swisho> it helps to think of them like they were holding a guitar
<Swisho> rocking the fuck out |
#74537 (393/631) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(@STARSBarry) tbh i saw funniest thing ever
(@STARSBarry) there was a black dude as santa in fenicks
(@STARSBarry) and the kid was
(@STARSBarry) "your not the real santa your black"
(@Steepmas) poor Santa :(
(@STARSBarry) and he said "i am?"
(@STARSBarry) he said it was off the soot in the chimneysComment: Best Santa Excuse ever ! in Newcastle
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#74528 (623/777) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
ETJ> Okay.
ETJ> My sister is going to be the worst driver ever
ETJ> She was apparently in the parking lot of a church I used to go to practicing.
ETJ> HUge as hell parking lot, completely deserted except for one bus.
Ariana> she hit the bus?
ETJ> She not only crashes into the bus, but crashes into it backing up at 7MPH
Ariana> did she drive away?
ETJ> That's the kicker.
Kyle> ...
ETJ> She freaked out, and stepped on the gas.
ETJ> ...While still in reverse. |
#74243 (618/842) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure |
#73523 (181/425) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kai> the impetus to get out of bed and go for a piss is immense right now.
<Kai> oooh, a coke bottle.... |
#73514 (207/463) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< catnip> in europe, they publicly show nudity
< catnip> at any time of day
< catnip> so its not that big of a deal for kids to see a naked woman
<@DigDug> i'm not in europe, catnip
< catnip> on tv that is
<@DigDug> i am in puritan states of america
< catnip> the Nivea ads show titties
< catnip> what do they show in the states?
<@DigDug> crossesComment: #geekissues
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#73141 (1320/1480) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
jaymouse: friend's kid
jaymouse: little kid
jaymouse: he was scribbling on this paper, and I was just sitting there watching him
jaymouse: well I was bored so I join him, just scribbling random shit
jaymouse: he looks at me like I'M the idiot
jaymouse: I'm like wtf
jaymouse: ...he was writing in fucking arabic |
#74242 (568/726) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Captiivus: Dude, I'm going to hell.
Derek: why
Captiivus: We were talking in class about this homeless family some kids are donating to for christmas and shit
Captiivus: and one student commented that their little boy wanted legos for christmas
Captiivus: I say, "What's he going to do with legos, build a house?"
Captiivus: Dead silence. |
#73997 (335/557) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand |
#73996 (257/601) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Glock_> so i'm looking for porn
<Glock_> and i see VIRGIN LAURA PART 1
<Glock_> and then VIRGIN LAURA PART 2 |
#73986 (292/600) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<&Cuntipede> I'm going back in time
<&Cuntipede> then I'm going to impregnate your mom
<&Cuntipede> you can call me daddy
<@ToeCutter> dad, can i have money?
<&Cuntipede> no, fuck you |
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