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#81440 (262/502) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< ipspoon> so last night i had this weird dream
< ipspoon> that like my friends sister was mad coming on to me
< ipspoon> and like she said I could put it in the back
< ipspoon> so i went over there so to speak, and i was having issue getting it in. like I couldn't find the hole
< ipspoon> next, i did what seemed perfectly logical in the dream
< ipspoon> i reached down and pulled off her penis (?!). It was attached with a little suction cup at the balls end.
< ipspoon> anyhow the anus was on the bottom, a little bit behind the head
< ipspoon> so i pulled it apart with my fingers, put my dick in, and re-attached it to the girl
< ipspoon> then fucked her brains out.
<+\x90> ... what the FUCK |
#80931 (567/725) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<conner> All I know is, the World Of Warcraft entry in wikipedia is 20 pages long and the Personal Grooming entry is like 1 page with a picture of a cat licking its fur. |
#81171 (17373/22875) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Jenna says: I
Jenna says: l
Jenna says: o
Jenna says: v
Jenna says: e
Jenna says: y
David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Jenna says: what the **** is your problem?
Jenna says: why do you always do that? |
#79667 (431/599) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future |
#76659 (470/652) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Ho0chie> i had awesome nerd moment with flat mate earlier.....
<@Ho0chie> ...he threw me a packet of crisps and they fell on the floor...we looked at each other and he said 'oh man, packet loss' |
#80132 (258/506) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<wingnuts> ...
<wingnuts> buddy of mine had an order for a custom "rack".. the one that holds servers and shit
<wingnuts> which is odd, cause he fabricates aluminum shit...
<wingnuts> but they wanted all this heatpipe shit for all the comps
<wingnuts> and he was like "That's nice, but where does the heat go?", and the client points to this massive chunk of metal in the center of the rack with a little flap on it
<wingnuts> and says "That's where the pizza box goes. All the heat from the servers are focused on that. No pizza means the system overheats, so you gotta keep putting fresh boxes in there to absorb the radiant energy".
<wingnuts> :|
<wingnuts> Pizza powered network. |
#79876 (635/851) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<forestcre> girls don't have colons or farts or poos
<winry> of course they dont
<winry> we never do that
<forestcre> that's why girls are full of shitComment: ...got me a kickban.
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#79646 (336/492) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc |
#79641 (467/649) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[@TheWickerMan] I remember this one earthquake waaaay back in the third grade.
[@TheWickerMan] It happened RIGHT after this fatass kid tripped and fell on the floor.
[@TheWickerMan] We'll never let him forget that..
[@TheWickerMan] Everytime he falls, somebody rushes under a desk. |
#79435 (368/572) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jebus> I stole your wallet though
<Jebus> :D
<pr0tekk> i dont have a wallet anymore
<pr0tekk> it got stolen.
<pr0tekk> wait.
<pr0tekk> ;0 |
#79369 (461/647) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler.
< kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong?
< deviant> C is great
< ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?"
< ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"Comment: #intersocs
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#78929 (819/941) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<riko> dammit this has gotta stop.
<Baph> ?
<riko> my stepdad's been using my computer, going on porn, and saving it onto my desktop with the filenames set as numbers so i don't know what it is and i have to click on it to check.
<Baph> I thought your stepdad was gay?
<riko> precisely. |
#78867 (164/392) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Atlas> I just realized something
<Digerat> hmm?
<Atlas> When I'm typing, my main hands aren't on the main how row
<Atlas> They're on WASD
<Atlas> Not even kidding. |
#77923 (222/576) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SpaceHobo> Hi, asl.
<xkcd> HUMOROUS COMBINATION OF IMPROBABLE AGE SEX AND LOCATION
<SpaceHobo> ACRONYM WHICH COULD INDICATE VOLUME OF AFFECTION OR VOLUME OF RISIBILITY
<xkcd> CONTINUING SELF-REFERENTIAL META-JOKE WHICH SHOWS THAT I AM WITTY BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT SOMEONE WOULD TRADITIONALLY SAY HERE AND AM REPEATING A DESCRIPTION OF IT IN CAPS
<SpaceHobo> CONDESCENDING BREAK FROM META-JOKE IN ORDER TO AFFECT CONFUSED UNSPOKEN OBJECTION TO SURFACE BEHAVIOR
<xkcd> CONTINUING APPEAL TO FURTHER JOKE-BREAKING, POSSIBLY WITH A SHOCKING SEXUAL COMPONENT, IN A DESPERATE SEARCH FOR HUMOR
<SpaceHobo> UNINTERESTED INVOCATION OF INFOBOT FACTOID, IN ATTEMPT TO MAINTAIN FOCUS OF ATTENTION WHILE HAVING THE LAST WORD
<xkcd> INCREASED SELF-REFLECTION. CONTEMPLATION OF WHERE LIFE BEGAN TO GO WRONG. SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL POSSIBLY ACCOMPANIED BY MOUNTING SUBSTANCE ABUSE. |
#77882 (144/380) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@CMK> If you kill ten people in Halo, you're pretty good. If you kill ten people in Doom, holy shit! If you kill ten people in Quake, totally awesome! If you kill ten people in Counterstrike, it's [kicked by console]. |
#77682 (131/317) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mr_flea> i read the headline of that article as "scientists develop neural breast implants"
<mr_flea> then i started wondering if they could be enlarged at the user's will
<mr_flea> which led me to thinking about those cars with hydraulic suspension
<mr_flea> "pimp my rack" |
#77445 (180/434) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Slettenbak has joined #thelaw
<Slettenbak> Can somebody help me?
<Jasper> Maybe ...
<Slettenbak> What's the legal age for having sex ?
<Jasper> 16
* Slettenbak has quit IRC (Looking for my 17 year old cat.) |
#77107 (62/284) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Growly|Work: hahahah i bought an opengl book in russian from ebay
snoops: how'd that work out for ya?
Growly|Work: ... on the shelf
snoops: next to the learn russian book?Comment: #OCNZ
|
#76974 (264/420) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zashi> I could get a few pounds of unrefined uranium
<Red_Herring> your ass would be in guantanimo before i could figure out how to spell 'guantanimo'
<Red_Herring> which in your defense, ill never figure out how to spell |
#78595 (283/513) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DinkyDogg_> worst geeky erotic fiction EVAR
<DinkyDogg_> vista as a metaphor for a beatiful woman
<proudfoot> vista is perhaps a better metaphor for a woman who tries to be beautiful, but doesnt succeed, and has many, many, issues
<proudfoot> and happens to be very, very, insecure
<proudfoot> she also has the annoying habit of asking you if its ok to do anything |
#78535 (69/339) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(TheNoxinator) how big is a 425 MB file?
(TheNoxinator) big or huge? |
#78101 (317/573) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<spacecat> i dont rly like virgin airlines
<spacecat> i mean whats the point in going on a plane that doesnt go all the fucking way |
#77824 (287/449) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[JaMiNkLe] i am retarded.. trying to install Linux on my old dual 800 and it wont boot from the cd i tried everything then just after looking in the bios for the last time i went to open the cd drive to smash the fucking cd and it was upside down wasn't it >.< |
#77336 (341/607) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zap> What's worse iggy?
<iggy> what?
<zap> Giving your boss the system documentation, all 800 pages of swedish-chef York-desh-born Bork Bork Bork and visio diagrams of many chefs interconnected with kitchen utilities and wiring with various details
<zap> (ie, IP: BORK.BORK.BORK.BORK, System Name: Borka_de_Borka!)
<zap> or finding out that, with the help of the manual, he restored approximately /40GB/ of data spanning 3 DLT tapes (in a very unfriendly autoloader), to the proper locations, with the proper permissions, having never done this before?
<iggy> wtf
<zap> Thats what I thought.
<zap> Even more interestingly, he hasn't commented on the booklet or asked me about it. He did, however, let a bork slip as he was leaving for lunch today after asking some dumb questions about licensing.
<iggy> ... |
#77329 (544/684) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jsz`> "Since version 2.0, AIM has included person-to-person text messaging, chatroom messaging, and the ability to share files peer-to-peer with one's buddies."
<jsz`> i guess before version 2.0 it didnt do anything |
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