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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..305306307308309310311..596Next> |
#308298* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Mode: [+v Moon_Dog3VO] by WinBot
<+closeone> Most of my chat logs are of Moon_Dog disconnecting and reconnecting... :/
<+closeone> :P
<+Moon_Dog3VO> shhhh
Disconnected: Read error: ssl=0xfda5b0: I/O error during system call, Connection reset by peer |
#308336* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
atari2600a: hey
atari2600a: I just got back from the doctors office
Sarah: oh?
Sarah: What did they do to you?
atari2600a: it turns out I'm suffering from a very rare but serious debilitating condition
Sarah: Which is?
atari2600a: well, soon I won't be able to walk straight
atari2600a: & my blood pressure will gradually drop
Sarah: Wait, are you messing with me or...?
atari2600a: no
atari2600a: it's called Biggus Dickus
atari2600a: apparently it's latin for a rare penile disorder that affects 1 in 1000 men
Sarah: Hmm.
Sarah: So what do you have to do?
atari2600a: the doctor says I should stick my dick in something
Sarah: Oh, you ARE messing with me.
atari2600a: reducing the violet discoloration of my testicles will slow down the effects |
#308351* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(04:59:29) Ice: nothing makes me feel as gay as creative writing
(04:59:41) Ice: i feel like there's a huge pink dick up my ass this very moment
(04:59:42) misterj: yeah, same, haha
(04:59:45) misterj: er
(04:59:47) misterj: except the dick part |
#308354* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Wensley> butts don't usually produce slickening substances
<hguhgu> I should probably see a doctor, then. |
#308355* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> A very long time ago I was a naive little nerd, and I maintained that (i.e. if a library was updated to remove old functionality) if a developer wrote new code to re-enable the old code instead of just modifying the old code, that they were idiots.
<Pryoidain> Currently I maintain that Library developers are cruel sadistic bastards who are taking away the only bit of code that worked out of 300 revisions
<Pryoidain> And i'll be DAMNED if I let them take that from me.
* Pryoidain fumes. |
#308367* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Sebas> Urgh.
<@Sebas> Religious charities depress me.
<@Sebas> You'd think as a species we'd've evolved beyond the need for a celestial beard to make us be nice by now. |
#308449* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bananobot> ]y
<ljrbot> Bananobot: You're already playing a game on this network. You can only be in one at a time.
<Bananobot> :(
<Bananobot> Don't be like that, baby |
#308517* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Raskolnikov__> Michael Douglas is such a badass in this.
<Raskolnikov__> I miss lead actors of his ilk.
<Skalk_az> in what?
<Raskolnikov__> Basic Instinct.
<Raskolnikov__> And everyone smokes.
<Raskolnikov__> In every scene.
<Skalk_az> so this film is guilty
<schrodingers_hat> lol
<schrodingers_hat> monkey see monkey do
<Raskolnikov__> Yes.
<Raskolnikov__> Michael Douglas is the source of all my problems. |
#308555* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fulltang> that's why I use a eunuchs-based OS. balls are bloat |
#308637* (?/46) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hagbard> and
<hagbard> newegg's really gone too far diversifying it's catalog
<hagbard> [link removed, pointed to Newegg item 9SIA00Y09H5503, which is a "Smokehouse Meaty Knuckle Femur Bone Bulk".]
<melstav> newegg's gone amazon.
<melstav> that bone isn't being sold BY newegg. it's sold *ON* newegg. It's sold *BY* "UnbeatableSALE"
<Stormgren> Hey, when I'm deep in code, sometimes I just wanna chew on a femur!
<myself> Newegg's been doing that for ages.
<Stormgren> Is that so wrong?
<hagbard> melstav: I stand corrected.
* myself looks up from his tibia
<myself> DON'T JUDGE MEComment: Meaty knuckle.
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#308753* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<okkie> ah
<okkie> 2003?
<superplek-> yes
<GargajCNS> yeah it was 2003
<okkie> it's so long ago
<okkie> i was still young
<okkie> and full of dreams
<okkie> and semen |
#308939* (?/18) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nukke2> loooooool
<nukke2> ok so this girl comes over to my house like 30min ago
<nukke2> she's freaking out because her friend, one of my roomies, couldn't help her and told her to come ask me
<nukke2> apparently her shower handles broke and the water won't stop running
<ePi`Killerhands> lol
<ePi`Killerhands> nukke2 to the resuce!
<nukke2> so she comes over, picks me up, takes me to her house and i honestly have no fucking idea what to do
<nukke2> wait wait
<nukke2> dude
<nukke2> WAIT
<nukke2> ok
<nukke2> so we get there and she's like, "ok i have no idea what to do please help"
<nukke2> i get inside, see that the shower is running and attempt to fix it
<nukke2> shower's at full power. i take off my shoes and shirt and get inside
<nukke2> (no joke)
<nukke2> i move the handles and it won't work. it seems like the paste that like, sticks the plastic to the metal thingies to turn it off has worn off, i've no idesa
<nukke2> so she's like "ok let's go outside, maybe there's a switch or somethinmg"
<nukke2> i'm dripping wet and put on my shirt and shoes and we head outside
<nukke2> she's like, "i'll stay up here and tell you if it's stopped running"
<nukke2> i go down and start opening those things on the sidewalk
<nukke2> one of them, it seems, was kinda tied to the valve and i fucking broke it
<nukke2> now there's a fucking fountain in the midde of the sidewalk
<nukke2> i'm freaking out
<nukke2> she hasn't noticed nbecause she's upstairs
<HappyMan> i think i speak for everybody here when i say
<HappyMan> "lol"
<nukke2> NO
<nukke2> okokokok
<nukke2> so ok
<nukke2> UDUDE
<nukke2> ok
<ePi`Killerhands> this sounds like a really bad porno
<nukke2> so she comes running down the stairs and asks me what happened
<nukke2> i am a shitty plumber :(
<ePi`Killerhands> lol
<nukke2> i tell her i've no idea and THEN the appartments owner arrives, right?
<nukke2> fucking 2012 car and shit
<nukke2> he's like "Wtf"
<nukke2> i tell him that i just go there and the girl nods
<nukke2> so i uncover one of the other thingies on the sidewalk, one marked with her apt no and turn off the valve
<nukke2> finally her shower stops running
<nukke2> so the owner calls the city's water dpt and they tell him that they'll be there in 1-3 days
<nukke2> :| |
#308982* (?/18) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mold> Oh thats awesome, drip a little spaghettio's sauce on my counter and it dissolves the surface. and people eat this shit!
<FOLKEN> uh oh spaghetti o's |
#309030* (?/20) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(9:01:00 AM) cei-anharat: \0/
(9:01:02 AM) cei-anharat: 00:00
(9:01:13 AM) rg-simon296: 2013 was so 9 hours ago
(9:04:13 AM) cei-anharat: what the fuck
(9:04:18 AM) cei-anharat: fireworks all over the place
(9:04:22 AM) cei-anharat: people need to calm the fuck down
(9:04:27 AM) cei-anharat: i am trying to watch anime hereComment: New years 2012
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#309039* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Taga-chan> star trek promoting terrorism, america sure has changed
<Jigsy> Set Phasers to PRAISE ALLAH. |
#309084* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
-!- guy [~gajus@oftn/member/guy] has joined #html
< guy> can a fieldset contain another fieldset?
< Visage> guy, Have you tried it? Have you validated?
< guy> No. I came here to ask. Less time consumed.
< lilmonkey> So you know how to easily find the answer yourself, but would rather waste someone else's time?
< CoJaBo> guy: Can you do all my homework for me? Less time consumed. |
#309103* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Itphes> I am gunna write my cousin posing as some random person who saw her pictures online and ask to see her tits |
#309194* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cmr> also overseer is a cool name
<cmr> all technical decisions should be based on the coolness of the name, you know |
#309196* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Arke | array of references are illegal
Arke | pfft
<Arke> watch me compiler
<cmr> yeah you tell that compiler
<Arke> i did
<Arke> he hit me
<Arke> i cried |
#309201* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ChrisE> fahadsadah: I wonder whether if I had had it capitalised like this all along then it would be different?
<henrikhodne> Wait, ChrisE == chrise?
<henrikhodne> Mind == blown. |
#309227* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+IRConan> ^|(\s+)...(\s+)|$
<M33P> regex boobs. |
#309320* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Treeki> in other news, apparently the DPRK has declared war on South Korea
<@Taryn> yep, I heard about that
<@Taryn> (although I think they've been technically at war since before either of my parents were born)
<@Soulcleaver> Can we please just gas this stupid fuck already? He's not cute anymore
<@NWH> Was he *ever*?
<@Soulcleaver> He closely resembles the kid from Up |
#309348* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Nazrin, Butt Therapist: And appearantly I got so drunk a bunch of people saw my balls
Nazrin, Butt Therapist: Because fuck sitting in dresses |
#309358* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Psi-Jack: and when you guys stop thinking a kiwi is a kind of fruit, i will stop using yanks to mean americans :P |
#309455* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<graphitemaster> man, I just had the greatest fucking realization ever
<graphitemaster> imagine I was dating Emma Watson (not possible, but imagine it)
<graphitemaster> if anyone ever insults me, or pisses me off, or calls me wrong
<graphitemaster> I could just reply with: "what ever, I'm fucking Emma Watson"
<graphitemaster> and I'd win every argument ever
<graphitemaster> no one could compete with that. |
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