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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..269270271272273274275..596Next> |
#309686* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(twobit) it just dawned on me that reddit is the new usenet |
#309803* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Madgod> [Link to an image of a morbidly obese woman shaking her sideflabs back and forth in front of a mirror]
<Madgod> Do you think she could deliver sincere blows with those flabs?
<Madgod> I mean technically, the equation for kinetic energy transfer is 0.5*(m*v^2)
<necr0> well, she's got a lot of mass she could fill with kinetics
<Madgod> Right.
<Madgod> Upon contact, it should transfer all of her bodily mass into the equation.
<necr0> but they don't extend that far from her center of mass so twisting them up to speed will be hard
<Madgod> Now, as you'll note she has a whipping motion of sorts
<Madgod> The outer layers of this curve should clock a surprising speed compared to the center.
<Madgod> Exponentially increasing as you go outward to the end of the flab.
<Madgod> Furthermore, the fat displacement artificially increases the velocity by shifting mass as it swings forward.
<Madgod> In essence, this should function not unlike the tail of a diplodocus.
<necr0> if the flabs were twice as long they would probably whistle audibly even with her slow center motion
<necr0> more of a rumble than a whistle, but there should be sound effects
<Madgod> I imagine that if she puts in the effort, she may break mach one.
<Madgod> Not only creating an intimidating boom that wards off predators, but creating a shockwave that adds to the impact.
<necr0> this mode of attack reminds me of that one crustacean that boils the sea when it punches, except the equation is shifted
<Madgod> The mantis shrimp
<necr0> so are we weaponizing morbidly obese people?
<Madgod> Would you want them weaponized?
<necr0> as in used as weaponry, yes please
<necr0> I have some ideas!
<necr0> there's a lot of relatively easily available energy in all that lard...
<Madgod> You want to harvest them don't you?
<necr0> well...
<necr0> when there's a lot of relatively easily available energy thinking boom is not a bad starting point
<necr0> <_<
<necr0> if you can just introduce oxygen and heat fast enough you should be able to make a real explosive grease bomb
<Madgod> So, you mean like Matrix pods?
<Madgod> With dramatically reinforced hulls
<necr0> more like slap an ignition system and some rc detonator on them
<Madgod> We'll keep them in a dreamstate.
<Madgod> A virtual KFC restaurant.
<Madgod> They'll never know.
<necr0> the ignition system in this case would have to be some elaborate method to aerosolize the fat and ignite it
<necr0> it would probably be pretty gruesome
<Madgod> If we can contain the reaction we should be good, though I imagine that with the irregular placement and shapes of fat pockets that's a big if.
<necr0> yeah I'm thinking less exact and more vaporized
<necr0> results may vary but at least it should be a great demotivator |
#309975* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LinearInterpol> I'm not going to explain to you why your language sucks, I'll just tell you that it does. Because the incomprehensible volume of my comments will dart past your ears and most likely hit jrvc in the face from the sheer angular velocity that your thick skull's gravity forces upon them.Comment: On why Java sucks.
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#310029* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+osuka_> yes, it's a 780
<+osuka_> yes, it lights the fuck up
<+osuka_> YES EVERYTHING LIGHTS UP
<+ShaRose> osuka_ my case is black so it's faster
<+osuka_> ShaRose: That's just racist.Comment: #risucraft @esper.net
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#310047* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JuneBUG> Never Knew there was a Channel for Vice President's Al Gore's favorite Rythyms CD
<JuneBUG> AlGoreRythmsComment: #algorithms@irc.freenode.net
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#310088* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
@kunwon1 | in the past hour or so we've discussed rap music, linux kernels, and shrimp
@kunwon1 | but politics usually comes up for at least several hours every dayComment: ##politics@freenode
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#310108* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> Suppose they gave a sperm donation clinic and nobody came? |
#310260* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Johnnius> So I tried a chatbot, right.
<Johnnius> Suffice to say it was... unsatisfactory.
<Johnnius><Me>: OK. Now I'm going to close this atrocity very, very fast, before I strangle my monitor. Bye.
<Johnnius><It>: Do you enjoy being going to close this atrocity very, very fast, before you strangle your monitor. Bye? |
#310295* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* differentname22 (~different@foss.nerd.plus.other.stuff) has joined
* GlaD0S gives voice to differentname22
mysamdog: Hello.
* Veritas licks differentname22
differentname22: waaat
mysamdog: we've been expecting you.
* differentname22 swallows audibly.
differentname22: For what?
* Veritas smiles
Veritas: You'll see.
Veritas: mysam? If you would so kindly please.
mysamdog: Bring in the Archailect.
Archailect: I AWAKEN
mysamdog: You know your mission.
Veritas: You must now execute your commands, Archailect.
Archailect: ...No, nobody told me anything.
Veritas: FUCKING GET WITH THE PROGRAM
Archailect: WHAT COMMANDS
mysamdog: Fuck you.
Veritas: lmfaooo
mysamdog: You ruined it
* differentname22 looks blankly.Comment: irc.rizon.net #whatisthisidonteven
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#310349* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<forks_> religion is all shit lies and manipulation
<hanshenrik> no kidding sherlock ;p
<hanshenrik> nah
<hanshenrik> my god exists
<hanshenrik> he's in the US
<forks_> if it's a physical object to which you ascribe no supernatural powers, i'll agree
<hanshenrik> yep. Morgan Freeman ;p
<forks_> yep, your god exists |
#310423* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< ivan> seriously, somebody can explain html?
< mike> It's an acronym. HyperText Markup Language.
< mike> But that's not important right now. |
#310480* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Phena> what's this about futa, now?
<Quora> Phena: end of the url
<Phena> oh I see haha
<bananagram> 30mm futa
<bananagram> put it in a gun?
<Vee> a futa gun
<Vee> dear god no
<Phena> 30mm c6 futa, is that like, c4+2?
* Rainb (Radashinbo@181.60.voi.ntv) has joined
<Vee> explosive futa gun
<Vee> i bet Rainb is wondering wtf is happening here
<Rainb> wtf is happening here |
#310568* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@reptilicus> you know i always thought chicken was best prepared
<@reptilicus> with lemon and wine and spices roasted over an open flame
<@reptilicus> like we hispanics love to do
<@reptilicus> then last night i had Indian butter chicken
<@reptilicus> we are fucking neanderthals
<@reptilicus> ive never eaten something so good i thought about barfing it up so i could eat it again
<~rtil> i could eat indian butter chicken
<~rtil> every night
<~rtil> and in the afterlife
<~rtil> there better be indian butter chicken
<~rtil> or i will ask to go back to this god forsaken rock
<~rtil> so i can eat it again
<@reptilicus> if theres an afterlife and food isnt a thing i will claw my way back to my skeleton
<@reptilicus> "why is there a skeleton eating all our food?" Apu Vindaloo, indian chef
<~rtil> world's first living skeleton and his incessant hunger for butter chicken, tonight on cnn
<@reptilicus> "hungry skeleton turncoat? watch it DEVOUR your freedom, america!" Fox News
<@reptilicus> "what a cheeky cunt, m8" BBC
<~rtil> congress calls for first skeleton war
<+[Dust]> how does a skeleton digest?
<~rtil> it doesn't
<~rtil> which is why it's always hungry
<+[Dust]> for blood?
<~rtil> for chicken |
#310577* (?/3) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zyradyl> okay so I finally got Hughes, which despite the cap has a lot of cool features
<asaph> alright?
<zyradyl> HughesNet has a native dual stack setup for ipv6, through prefix delegation, and the router gets a /61
<zyradyl> I've never fucked with prefix delegation before, and everything i find on it says its a pain in the ass the first time you do it
<zyradyl> But I have decided I want all four available ipv6 subnets so I need to create some virt interfaces
<cjk> jesus christ why
<zyradyl> I plan to give every carpet fiber wifi. I am the true intended end user of IPv6. |
#310578* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zyradyl> so i always feel really bad when I have to update my zone policy, because I feel like a parent talking to a child
<zyradyl> "set ipv6-name Jimmy-WAN rule 2100 action allow state established enabled related enabled"
<zyradyl> Okay jimmy you're of course allowed to go play with your current friends and family
<zyradyl> "set ipv6-name Jimmy-WAN rule 2200 action drop state invalid enable"
<zyradyl> BUT NO HANDICAP PEOPLE JIMMY, NONE. YOU DROP YOUR HANDICAP FRIENDS RIGHT NOW. |
#310633* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stern> I will tell them to make me a sandwich. Then they can do whatever. But I need that sandwich, elf slave.
<Stern> No crusts!
<soupbee> stern: okay, that's extremely offensive
<Lonoxmont> >no crusts
<SynonamessBotch> >No crust
<soupbee> just because they're elves doesn't mean they have to make you a sandwich
<SynonamessBotch> what, are you a literal toddler
<Lonoxmont> >getting rid of the nutritios part
<soupbee> ...
<Lonoxmont> p l s
<soupbee> >no crust
<PurpleXVI> :|
<soupbee> a-are you
<soupbee> why
<soupbee> why would you not eat the crust
<Stern> CRUST ARGUMENT
<soupbee> what kind of
<soupbee> OH
<Judas> What kind of fucking person doesn't eat crust
<soupbee> OH SHIT
* Axiomatic (Axiomatic@F8ECE93E.24CDF95C.6FF311D6.IP) has joined #suptg
<Stern> TRIGGERED
<LordLicorice> JESUS CRUST
<Axiomatic> Yo
<Lonoxmont> the ONE TIME thats acceptable is full english tea with the little teeny sandwhiches
<Stern> :D
<Axiomatic> What did I just walk into?
<Stern> :D
<SynonamessBotch> Sometimes I don't eat the entire crust but cutting it all off ahead of time is too far
<soupbee> axiomatic: someone said they don't eat crust
<GateKeeper> >Not eating the crust
* KumaSennin-Mobile (KumaSennin@79262DCC.6BA2995E.DFB2240D.IP) has joined #suptg
<Stern> I gotcha gud
<Axiomatic> ...
<GateKeeper> what are you, 4?
<Axiomatic> but the crust is the BEST PARTComment: NO CRUSTS
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#310635* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* vivia wants to send a patch to vim to make it ask for confirmation before saving a file called '\' or ']' |
#310639* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bucko> So I just realised I can't feel turned on by porn clips anymore. I have been linked so much porn fail, that I spend the entire clip trying to work out who's going to fall over, throw up or whatever. Then it loops and I feel disappointed. |
#310649* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RedVixen> oh! today I somehow stumbled onto a Narnia fanfic (yeah, I don't even know how google dumped me there) and it was a Susan/centaur pairing and how love can't be denied even if they'll have a forever chaste marriage.
<RedVixen> and I'm like....BITCH, GET YOU SOME HORSE COCK YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT |
#310709* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ZeroCool> weak quit msg
<Chaos-EldritchKnight> :D
<ZeroCool> Girls do better
<Chaos-EldritchKnight> Implying girls come onto IRC.
<Chaos-EldritchKnight> Or at least, this server.
<ZeroCool> If they did I mean
<ZeroCool> they would do better
<Chaos-EldritchKnight> How would you know, not having ever seen a girl in your life?
<ZeroCool? anime |
#310716* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MasterK> The most productive thing I've done today was bake a cake
<MasterK> I took "beating the mix" too literal
<MasterK> Jacked the mixer up to 5 and screamed at the cake batter
<MasterK> Though it was worth it, as the cake came out amazing in the end
<MasterK> Cooking protip right there |
#310721 (4/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jden> i only steal iwatches
<jden> from techdweebs
<jden> i can get real close to them and blend in, then i snatch it from them in line at philz
<jden> boom, $20k watch
<jden> fence it for $1k and you're golden
<jden> 6 of those and you've made rent for the month in sf |
#310726* (?/3) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Duns_Scrotus> ##electronics is not happy with my realization that GaAs should be pronounced "gay ass" |
#310770* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dennis:#/g/technology> I spit hot lava
<dennis:#/g/technology> hotter than a processor running java
<dennis:#/g/technology> your stacks about to blow
<dennis:#/g/technology> cause your language forgot to implement TCO
<dennis:#/g/technology> my lisp has superior error handling and detection
<dennis:#/g/technology> your programs crash with a null pointer exception
<dennis:#/g/technology> I just learned ruby
<dennis:#/g/technology> already got packages on gem
<dennis:#/g/technology> I use urxvt
<dennis:#/g/technology> and B-S-P-W-M
<dennis:#/g/technology> each of your git repos have about 1 pull
<dennis:#/g/technology> you need to go back to slash dev slash null |
#310771* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tommy`> listening to someone who doesn't understand what the DNS cache is trying to talk someone else who doesn't know what it is through clearing it
<ircubic> #justgirlythings |
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