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#310822* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<adamster> Worst thing ever just happened to me.
<adamster> Had to burp and sneeze at the same time.
<arruss> you had to write perl?
<arruss> oh
<adamster> I didn't sneeze, but I burped with the force of a sneeze.
<adamster> I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again
<waleedk> same thing happens after writing Perl
#310833* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MisterQ> If theres anything I learned from Warcraft II is that the Orcs all have submarines.
#310835* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dodge> No one on earth has attractive genitals
<Dodge> Have you ever seen genitals and said, "Hey, nice looking genitals you've got there!"
<Dodge> No.  You haven't.  Because they are not nice looking.
<sol-D> they get the job done, DAMNIT
<Dodge> I'm not dissin' their function or performance....just their appearance.
<Dodge> Especially females.  Looks like some kinda high school bio class bi-valve lab experiment.
<mdxi> let's not even get into how silly penises are
<mdxi> HEY BABY, ISNT THIS SEXY?
<mdxi> uhh...no
<sol-D> "God, would you put that AWAY for once?"
<Leth> "Geez Dad, not again!"
#310856* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lots42> I miss the vicodin
<CrazyClimber> if it misses you, it will come back.
<Lots42> Yay!
<Lots42> That's what the social workers said about my parents!
#310869* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EikaForge> Atosen, we should get married so we won't be 25 and not married. (Not that this is a proposal.)
* Celti is over 25 and not married, so...
<Godwinson> I'm 30
<Godwinson> And not married
<Godwinson> And not employed
<Celti> Yes, but you're Godwinson
<Celti> You're so fat you're married to yourself
<Godwinson> I'm so fat, I'm in a polyamorous relationship with every human on Earth. Twice.
<Atosen> How romantic.
#310889* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MrGurns> Compiling what?!
<lateoclock> notes
<MrGurns> Do you mean composing?
<MrGurns> Oh, notes. Not music.
<MrGurns> It's been a long day.
<lateoclock> i'm also compiling pizza
<MrGurns> Mmm. Toppings.
<MrGurns> Almost as delicious as tasty, tasty functions that have a hint of global variable
<MrGurns> Marinated in obscure parameter lists.
<lateoclock> ooh
<MrGurns> I know right? It sounds Devine.
<lateoclock> delectable
<MrGurns> Just imagine the greasy database layer that tops the assembly sauce.
<lateoclock> ew
#310914* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Kayle> it's obviously mistaking the color's name for the card's name
<~concerned> if ($tokens[2] =~ /(.*)'s turn. Top card: (\d\d)\((.*)\) \[(.*)\]/i)
<~concerned> it doesn't use $3 at all
[11:31pm] <&Kayle> that's no suprise, what can you buy with $3 these days
Comment: #lmaoayy on irc.rizon.net
#310931* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pascal> anyway you can do a pretty good job of chinese roulette by putting 6 lines on 6 plates: 5 lines of a random chinese mystery rc and one line of cyanide
<neutron> but.... everyone will hope for the cyanide
<ferrite> the person with the cyanide wins
#310965* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<utack> "Adreno 330 @ 578 GHz"
<utack> i'd like to see that phone
<mathieui> gotta go fast
<utack> maybe that is why sd810 overheats so much, they clocked the GPU to GHZ instead of MHZ because someone read the paper wrong
<utack> or...not
#311018* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kreator> sup f€ags
<kreator> dropped beer €ll over my keybor€ad
#311101* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Coldfinger: chris christie still looks like the human embodiment of a big mac
#311103* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Maahes> What if Donald Trump took a poo?
<spinkle> he does it every time he opens his mouth
#311145* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+lcy> talking to a 41 year old guy on tinder
< dialeth> is it your dad
<+lcy> no my dad is 48
< dialeth> oh ok
< tso> yeah that's not weird or anything
#311149* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(after moderating a user)
< gumi> wushin, you don't have to read, you know?
< wushin> I'll get that craved on my tombstone
< gumi> and your IRC client has a nifty feature called ignore
< wushin> I know but I have to scroll past kick to get there
#311150* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FeelingBetterKingdom> Jesus. We need to play a game called Guess TriKingdoms IQ
* @LexPro rolls a dice
#311163* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Jigsy pulls out a Lawyer and a 12 inch Subpeona.
#311167* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cyandroid> my arm is sore
<Celti> my me is sore
<LannisterMobile> My wallet is sore
<Celti> My wallet is long past sore and is in intensive care at the hospital
<Celti> Only it's a shitty hospital that doesn't give a shit about wallets without any money or insurance
<Celti> So they're ignoring it and letting it malinger and die unnoticed
<Celti> Eventually it will get cremated with two dozen other un-cared-for wallets in a mass cremation and dumped in an anonymous grave
#311187* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xolroc> You know I love that conversations in this room can go from boob jokes to esoteric advanced mathematics and no one bats an eye
<Xolroc> It's like, we're defying stereotypes here
<Kasran> it's like #weird isn't filled with normal types
<Kasran> go figure
#311213* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<schwepps> we had to run the p.c off home generators powered by horse
#311232* (?/17) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<*> Eshan has joined
<Eshan> ughhhh dear christ how’s everyone doing
<*> Tumbra is now known as Dear_Christ
<Dear_Christ> everyone's doing fine
<*> Dear_Christ is now known as Everyone
<Everyone> I'm doing fine!
<*> Everyone is now known as Tumbra
<Eshan> wow
<Eshan> That was commitment, nicely done Tumbra xD
Comment: #nssport @ irc.esper.net (NationStates' sport roleplay discussion channel)
#311253* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<m4221> Name the most recent programming, not scripting, language you have used!  GO!
<BytesAndCoffee> m4221: Assembly
<BytesAndCoffee> my own Assembly ISA in fact
<BytesAndCoffee> getrekt
<m4221> BytesAndCoffee: damn you
<BytesAndCoffee> m4221: https://github.com/BytesAndCoffee/QuadShot/blob/stable/BUBBLE2.drip
Comment: #reddit-sysadmin on freenode
#311260* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BytesAndCoffee> so
<Ahrotahntee> ugh, who has the dunce cap? It's my turn to wear it
<Ahrotahntee> problem with exchange, the error message in event viewer literally tells me word-for-word what to do about it
<Ahrotahntee> had I bothered to read it
<BytesAndCoffee> after...4 months, i can log in to exchange on my phone
<BytesAndCoffee> it was a combination of a missing AD object in my account, and inheritance being disabled
<PSPM|13fca> Ahrotahntee, evidently it was mine today
<luketheduke1> When I first started here, I didn't have a computer for half a week
* PSPM|13fca hands over dunce cap to Ahrotahntee
<Ahrotahntee> PSPM|13fca: hand it over
<Ahrotahntee> thank you
(Ahrotahntee and BytesAndCoffee are in the same office)
#311266* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dragonite> i solved a code problem on the toilet
#311271* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vaati>apt install libperl
<Vaati>shit this isnt my terminal
<@Chern>Its mine
Comment: When you think the irc client is your bash shell.
#311355* (?/13) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Sa1cor: the best part was
Sa1cor: that after the powercut
Sa1cor: I couldnt start steam in offline mode
Sa1cor: because
Sa1cor: you have to get online first
Sa1cor: ...
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