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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..267268269270271272273..596Next> |
#307681* (?/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<WTF> give me a good name, and ill suck your dick. |
#307769* (?/61) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dante> and a genius kuri is a semitone, sexy e minor.
<kuri> OMG this bot is a MENACE
<Snuggletummy> How
<Snuggletummy> ?*
<Snuggletummy> It called you a sexy e minor.
<Dante> dante wants a semitone, sexy e minor.
<kuri> he called me a semitone
<kuri> i am NOT a semitoneComment: mountai.net. No douchetwats.
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#307879* (?/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GhostGirl> Internet's bein' funny... Brb
<CF> What joke is it telling? |
#307888* (?/49) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Maluki> ugh
<Maluki> next time the neighbors upstairs start having loud sex, I am going to blast this from my computer. It will totally ruin the mood. (link to the benny hill theme on youtube) |
#307913* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SunshineSmiles> Wait, Biv, DO YOU KNOW WHO THE HELL I AM!?
<SunshineSmiles> I am a fagget good sir
<SunshineSmiles> A fagget.
<RoyGBiv> You're a cigarette?
<RoyGBiv> Good, I need one
<SunshineSmiles> In Soviet Russia
<SunshineSmiles> Cigarette smoke you
<RoyGBiv> Come over here, SunshineSmiles, and let me light your head on fire, put your butt in my mouth, inhale the burning fumes, then when I'm done crush you under my boot |
#307970* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MJ01R> I am such a horrible person.
<Jezka> hmmm
<ZzBomb> MJ01R: Eat Dorito, it'll make you feel better.
<Dorito> Eat me and I'll put a shank in your neck
<Jezka> ^true story
<Dorito> YOU THINK I KID |
#308008* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Blackjack> ...I thought I was texting someone who lives in a distant state...
<Blackjack> Turns out, I was texting my uncle....
<Blackjack> So glad I realized that before I said something creepy. |
#308121* (?/33) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rubie> You'd make me a happy person if you would post in my friend.
<Veene> ... What? XD
<Rubie> WTF! Thread!*
<Veene> OH! I was wondering what you wanted me to do to your friend!
<Yvan> I'll put a post in your friend, Rubie ;D |
#308181* (?/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< lrvick> got some five guys
< lrvick> i cant wait to get this inside meComment: five guys is a burger place in the south
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#308193* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Loskene> everyone should have a whiteboard
<@Loskene> I have one that everyone writes on
<@Loskene> and we've agreed not to erase anything on it
<@Loskene> mostly because this marker doesn't erase well and just stains the whole board green
<@Loskene> but now it has "Let's fuck shit up" in fancy cursive writing
<@Loskene> and "NICK" but he fucked up and the K looks like a pair of trousers
<@Loskene> it amuses me to no end
<@Loskene> and the graphical shopping list we drew while stoned
<@Loskene> a square with "loads of crisps" written on it
<@Loskene> something shaped like a condom we couldn't identify so it has a question mark beside it
<@Loskene> and a donut with an arrow pointing to the middle saying "shit"
<@Loskene> I don't understand it
<@Loskene> also a big bottle of coke with like explosions and light around it
<@Loskene> this is the best shopping list ever
<@Loskene> unfortunately we drew it on the whiteboard and therefore couldn't bring it to the shops with us, and promptly forgot everything we wanted to get
<@Loskene> which is good because I didn't really want shit donuts and condoms
<@Kirtaner> who the hell doesn't want shit donuts
<@Loskene> there's something else in the corner but I actually can't figure out what it is
<@Loskene> it's like a circle with a Q inside it
<@Kirtaner> obviously it represents a taco
<@Loskene> sound reasoning |
#308338* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+TMartin> You got the herp lol
<+klept0> oh nohz burn it with fire!
<+TMartin> I'm sure it already burns |
#308348* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zylum> what do you call a large group of people who are simultaneously sneezing and shitting at the same time?
<Zylum> Mass achu shits. |
#308372* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Neuro well
Neuro we couldn't deny it forever
Neuro obama is the antichrist
Neuro i mean
Neuro helping pooir people to not die from sickness and stay healthy
Neuro must be satan's work
Neuro mustn't it?
Neuro a truly good eprosn
Neuro would jsut let poor people die
Neuro it is MERCY
Neuro a poor life is no life at allComment: in a discussion about obamacare
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#308414* (?/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
You: i'm 92 years old and from the planet bork
Stranger: Thank you for your cooperation. Your ID number will be 42342z3094. Please hold while for an elected associate to assist you.
Stranger: Hi, welcome to Stealth! This is 34892cc293 speaking. Will you enter your ID number here, please?
You: 42342z3094
Stranger: ID 42342z3094 recognized! Do you have any questions for me today, 42342z3094?
You: what is the meaning of life
Stranger: Stealth does not take stands on such earthly matters.
Stranger: Please refrain from asking non-secular based questions
You: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck coulf chuck wood?
Stranger: A wood chuck would chuck all the wood it could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood
Stranger: Is there anything else you want Stealth to do for you?
You: could you turn me into a robot with a copper rectum?
Stranger: Stealth does not have an extensive enough medical history yet to determine if such an operation would be dangerous to someone so aged in earth years.
You: i meant im 92 in dog years
Stranger: Stealth politely inquiries if you have parental permission to use omegle?
Stranger: As you appear to be only 13 years.
You: I am my parentComment: Omegle
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#308435* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Liucy> dams scare me
<Liucy> like what if that shit broke |
#308450* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Klisz> سخ صاشفطس ع لعغس
<Klisz> wrong keyboard layout
<Klisz> so what's up guys |
#308483* (?/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lefty> hay guyse
<Lefty> my phone wants to install jellybean
* Lefty THREW IT ON THE GROUUUUUNNNDDDD
<qbit> lol
<qbit> THIS ISN'T A JELLYBEAN! THIS IS A PHONE!!!
<Lefty> I'm not a part of your SYSTEMComment: #devious on freenode
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#308495* (?/23) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Strife89> O loathesome text editor of the Great OSS Beyond,
<Strife89> why must you torment me so with your few yet irksome design issues?
<Strife89> Begone, I say to thee, that I may seek another package,
<Strife89> and carry on coding peacefully. |
#308547* (?/21) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Syntactics: i try to avoid hating large groups of people
Syntactics: i refer to the group of people i hate
Syntactics: as
Syntactics: "the people i hate "
Syntactics: i am racist to people i hate
Syntactics: it consists of
Syntactics: people that i hate
elazar55: Ah
elazar55: Yes
elazar55: A new race is born
Syntactics: yes
elazar55: PeopleSynHatesEes
Syntactics: they wont have rights
Syntactics: becuase they dont deserve them |
#308682* (?/11) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Milz: IMO, I think it should go more like this: "Whatever doesn't kill me...had better start [shotgun cock] RUNNING!"
Mol: Oh, come on, get the timing right: "Whatever doesn't kill me [shotgun cock] had better start running."
Milz: OK. Ok. I can dig that. What does not convey in my writing is a *pause* for the shotgun cocking. But , yours is cool, too.
Mol: Yours conveyed the pause, but it was in the wrong place. :)
Milz: Funny. Well, then. It's agood thing i don't write stage plays. I would suck at it. LOL
Mol: No worries. It was merely [puts on shades] a bad beat.Comment: Finally, my own bad beat story.
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#308686* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<deltaray> Isn't it ironically funny how instead of people starting to call it GNU/Linux like Stallman wanted, that now its Linux/Ubuntu. Like in video titles on Youtube and stuff. |
#308713* (?/13) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tomguy> !rlog flat chest
<LolitaBot> Random quote containing "flat chest" dated 4/1/2007:
<LolitaBot> [23:54:11] <Cymoro> ·)·)?<`?´`> Korean tits are superior! kekeke
<LolitaBot> [23:54:11] <Cymoro> (´·?·)?(___) Kneading shits
<LolitaBot> [23:54:11] <Cymoro> (_)
<LolitaBot> [23:54:12] <MonopolyMan> plus they have infinitely more functionality than old oses
<LolitaBot> [23:54:20] <MonopolyMan> doesn't work cymoro
<Tomguy> haha!
<Tomguy> The bot correlated flat chest to korean tits (accuratley)
<||bass> where does it say the words?
<||bass> it doesn't
<||bass> how did it do that
<Tomguy> SHE IS LEARNING
<||bass> how the hell?Comment: #nobodysworld on darkmyst
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#308731* (?/23) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ash> I found that ibanez pick mentioned earlier and it's actually quite playable at ~45 degrees angle.
<ash> On higher strings.
<ash> On lower strings it sounds like somebody gnawing on a string.
<juha> but that's a good trick, playing with your teeth
<ash> it feels like playing with somebody else's teeth
<juha> :-P
<juha> playing guitar with dentures, that's a thought
<ash> yes, in rock'n'roll you first get out there and knock somebody's teeth out before you go on stage
<juha> sustainable rocking, or not really since they don't grow back =D
<ash> that's why ibanez makes it easier for you with those plectrums
<ash> and that's also why I'm not afaraid of going to meet&greet with mr Vai *before* the show. :)
<juha> still it's best to smile with your lips together, you don't know for sure
<ash> true, that |
#308737* (?/21) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Carmine> Time to make the most out of this day by doing nothing! |
#308747* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* ~sith smh
<~sith> remember when the internet was simple
<~sith> and we actually typed shaking my head
<~sith> lazy people
*few minutes later*
<~sith> ikr
<~sith> see, there i am being lazy again
<TaylorSwift> i wonder if its ok to write like that in schools now
<~sith> only if you're tweeting your essay inComment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
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