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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..251252253254255256257..596Next> |
#301486* (?/65) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shiikusu> wait, you speak like a pirate, act like a pirate, but won't pirate games?
<MistressArle> Fun fact, I'm not a pirate, I don't speak like one and I don't even want to know how ye think i act like a pirate.Comment: Arle is a pirate
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#301520* (?/21) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Kile: I need to go to fucking sleep
Kile: brb wc
Kile: Const
Kile: I can't get up
[KoB] Mouthful of BROFIST: wat
Kile: I'm lying spread out across two chairs
Kile: I can't get up
Kile: Maybe I'll just fall asleep here and pray I don't piss myself
Kile: Fffffuuuuuuuck
[KoB] Mouthful of BROFIST: Kick one chair out from under your feet and force yourself up |
#301522* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<J_Milburn> THIS IS BRITAIN! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN EUROPE!
<Ironholds> MADNESS? THIS. IS. EUROOOOOOPE!
<Ironholds> "they say their EU directives will block out the sun" "Well, men, then we will quietly and reservedly implement them in the shade!" |
#301531* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+[sdf]xexyz> lol is that a cow thats about to get assraped by a mecha? :p
<+[sdf]xexyz> man i love ascii art of surprize mecha buttsecks with cowsComment: #sdf on irc.freeshell.org
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#301542* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cpux> Metal panties. |
#301547* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[22:54] <Zorg|bed> darn I wish I had gotten laid last night :/
[22:54] <suxxard> Herpes?
[22:55] <Zorg|bed> nay
[22:55] <Zorg|bed> started of with her disproving if my tongue piercing...
[22:55] <suxxard> oh?
[22:55] <Zorg|bed> then rejecting to more groping than titties
[22:55] <NinjaBeast22> bad start :>
[22:55] <Zorg|bed> yeah it was... really didn't see it comming
[22:55] <Zorg|bed> but she is more or less an alien |
#301549* (?/41) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* arby slaps Clifford around a bit
* Phil slaps Clifford around a bit
* arby draws a vagina on Clifford's face
* lurkerjp cuts an eyebrow off Clifford's face
* arby puts shaving cream in Clifford's palm
* Phil tickles Clifford's face with a feather
* lurkerjp watches reflexes do their workComment: #controlroom hazing
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#301556* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
19:38] <Andrew1986> how did you get a picture of my dick?
<LinuxKitten> well
<LinuxKitten> things gel out
<LinuxKitten> lol
<LinuxKitten> get*
<Exoteric> literally
<LinuxKitten> you know
<LinuxKitten> they spread
<weatherkid> like HIV?
<LinuxKitten> thats why you don't give nudes
<LinuxKitten> yeah
<LinuxKitten> pretty muchComment: LOL
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#301559* (?/55) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Supergirl> They could have used a better name other than 'i'+Noun.
<&Supergirl> I get the whole 'i' naming convention.
<&Supergirl> But it's old.
<&Supergirl> They need something new.
<&Supergirl> So they thought, "Hey, let's add i on front of everything!"
<+arch_silentbob> iTard
<&Supergirl> iLife - gotta have one.
<&Supergirl> It's like..
<&Supergirl> iEat, iBreathe, iSleep.
<&Supergirl> iObject
<&Supergirl> iExist
<+segin> iPoop
<+arch_silentbob> iMustBuyExpensiveTrendyProductsComment: #lfs:1 on OtherWorlders
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#301560* (?/49) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Thor burns chimps
<Aerv> Shouldn't do that, chimps are more useful than most people |
#301568* (?/53) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
I look at the code in front of me, and I am once again reminded of a story.
-Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coco, and enjoy:
OK, so I learned how to write code on an Apple IIe when I was but a pup. I thought I was the warmest turd in the pot after that. I made a cool little text only X-Men fighting game, and passed it out to anyone with a 5 1/4 drive and a little spare time. For the next ten or so years, I took a (well earned) sabbatical from my programming exploits. Then, after becoming fully settled in in my familial unit and establishing myself as an integral pillar of society (*cough cough), I decided that I would change the world by once again utilizing my GOD-GIVEN talents as a programmer, and learn JAVA.
So, basic JAVA class was a joke. A couple of the geeks in the class (present company excluded) even joked about the relevancy of the material being taught — after all, we were all in college now, not elementary! Then, as sequences go, I took the second tier class. The second tier class introduced a concept that was new and stunning (to me) — Object Oriented Programming…
That was the precice moment in which I came to the stunning revalation — that I was retarded.
Apearantly, as I was typing away is blissfull ignorarance on my accursed Apple IIe (running at a blinding speed of 1.023 MHz) there was a group of dissedents that were experimenting with concepts such as encapsulation, classes, and methods… These rebellious scamps were utilizing the devil box, and playing with modified versions of C programming!
Appearantly, C programming lent itself to hundreds of programmers to modify, and create amazing pieces of code. So now people all over the world switched to Object Orientented Programming just because it’s better?!?
Well I have something to say to them:
10 INPUT “What is your name sir or ma’am?: “; U$
20 PRINT U$; “is a waste of space. ”
30 GOTO 20 |
#301572* (?/41) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[23:49] <Sn0MaN> hey Zorba, you still around?
[23:57] <Sn0MaN> guess not
[00:00] <@ZorbaTHut> well actually yes
[00:00] <@ZorbaTHut> if he just stuck around longer |
#301622* (?/55) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Da_Pineapple> my ham exploded D: |
#301643* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ssjstealt> where you from
<kazit> ethiopia
<kazit> you bastards just send us bibles, how about some damn food!
<ssjstealt> ?
<ssjstealt> @_~
<ssjstealt> Why isnt His Imperial Highness rectificying the situation
<kazit> hit yourself in the eye with a BIBLE?!
<kazit> i just love being an asshole
<ssjstealt> not really
<ssjstealt> i used to think some people were hard on the outside and
<kazit> soft in the head
<kazit> i know
<kazit> btw, you spelled "rectificying" wrongComment: #christian
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#301645* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
timmy ya know who else has some squinty eyes. wiliam shatner
Anth and asians
ham asian people's wieners are so small because they have adapted to their females having panoramic vision |
#301683* (?/53) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Piehole> my asus has some kind of disk head parking feature if it sees to many g's.. I can shake it like a british nanny with a naughty baby and it doesn't do a thingComment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
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#301723* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<venom`POKEMANS> thanks Petey
<venom`POKEMANS> makes me feel all nice and warm inside
<mib_ttm5qd> that's your vagina
<Dino> thats just because he came in your ass
<mib_ttm5qd> dino's was better
<venom`POKEMANS> Dino: This is why
<venom`POKEMANS> I was thinking which retards will come out with a comment like that first.
<venom`POKEMANS> And lo-and-behold
<venom`POKEMANS> it was youComment: I asked venom why he didn't love me anymore
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#301725* (?/51) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Alice> isobars, lows and fronts oh my!
<James> Isobar: A room or establishment where people go to 'pick up' an .iso? [/geek]
<Alice> (Resists urge to quote in meteorology exam)
<James> Give in to the .tmptation. |
#301740* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FuzzYspo0N> **care
<erus`> **argv
<deesine> **giveashit
<Lazarusfpc> ********i do
<FuzzYspo0N> unknown exception at 0x0000005
<erus`> the memory referenced at 0x00000000 cannot be read
<FuzzYspo0N> the output windows may contain more information |
#301744* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shi-ghost> ergo .tw is still .cn but does not count
<Randuin> it's like when you search your computer, it automatically excludes the trash bin
<Randuin> y'know?
<shi-ghost> that is -the- most chinese explanation ive ever heard Randuin |
#301756* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Isa> god I'd make an amazing gay dude |
#301766* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@stinkwork> in other news: my testicles itch
<@deeinabox> brb, tampon change.
<@NedrubWerd> 12/10 stinky
<@NedrubWerd> very nice
<@NedrubWerd> 14/10 dee
<@NedrubWerd> extremely gross
<@deeinabox> that was the goal
<@stinkwork> dee: that sounds like a good afternoon snack
<@deeinabox> stink: depends on how heavy the flow is. a heavier flow day with more tissue makes a more succulent snack
<@NedrubWerd> dear g*d they're bonding over trollage
<@stinkwork> dee: either one would probably be pretty tasty, one would just be chewier
<@deeinabox> stink: i'll send you one of each variety if you'd like.
<@stinkwork> there might be problems with the international shipping on that one.
<@deeinabox> if they're shoved up my vagina, what the hell are they gonna do about it?
<@deeinabox> no ma'am, you cannot cross the border with bloody tampons in your crevice?
<@stinkwork> oh, you deliver? that's convenient.
<@deeinabox> sure, i just charge a bit more for it.
<@deeinabox> 2,000 USD should cover it.
<@stinkwork> let me sell a kidney and i'll buy 9
<@deeinabox> would you prefer them in light size, normal, plus, or super plus?
<@deeinabox> or perhaps a variety?
<@stinkwork> I'll take the variety pack
<@stinkwork> can i pay extra and get a video of you taking a shit?
<@deeinabox> sure, but you'll have to figure out the monetary part quickly
<@deeinabox> i have already been on my period for 2 days
<@deeinabox> so i only have 2 days left. |
#301768* (?/41) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<handyshandy> sigh. it's weird, i'm sure lots of people would love what i do
<handyshandy> but i'm soooo bored with it
<felipe> hire someone to do your work and supervise them
* handyshandy hires ardchoille
<handyshandy> get to work yo
* ardchoille fires handyshandy
<ardchoille> Oh, wait, I can't fire him.. he's the supervisor
<handyshandy> no you can
<handyshandy> thanks bro
* handyshandy goes on vacation |
#301773* (?/65) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FuzzyPlushroom> PARTAKE IN SOME LITERATURE, SOME MATRIARCH-FORNICATING LITERATURE
<FuzzyPlushroom> NAY, NEITHER THE SPORTS SECTION NOR A TRASHY PERIODICAL WILL SUFFICE, MY AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMRADES
<FuzzyPlushroom> SUPPORT AND NURTURE YOUR OFFSPRING
<FuzzyPlushroom> YOUR ORGANS REQUIRE HYDRATION; THEREFORE, YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR WATER INTAKE
<FuzzyPlushroom> PURCHASE A DEED OF PROPERTY; MAKE THIS A HIGHER PRIORITY THAN REFLECTIVE, SPINNING WHEELS FOR YOUR AUTOMOBILE
<FuzzyPlushroom> ENSURE PROPER DENTAL HYGIENE THROUGH REGULAR USE OF A TOOTHBRUSH
<FuzzyPlushroom> APPLY A SCENTED ANTIPERSPIRANT TO YOUR UNDERARMS, YOUNG NEGRO
<FuzzyPlushroom> IT GOES BY THE TRADE NAME OF "SPEED STICK® BITCH™"; IT CAN BE OBTAINED AT LOW COST CONSIDERING ITS MERIT
<FuzzyPlushroom> AS I PREVIOUSLY STATED, PARTAKE IN SOME QUALITY LITERATURE
<FuzzyPlushroom> THANK YOU
<FuzzyPlushroom> END TRANSMISSION |
#301776* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<norby89> YOU READ PENIS LAND
<norby89> it was a gay test :D
<norby89> you passed it
<SpiLoT> the smell would be disgusting
<norby89> congratz, you're gay
<SpiLoT> yaaay, that would make you the gay master? gay teacher?
<SpiLoT> sup mayte
<norby89> wasn't talking to you, nobb
<norby89> go back to your hole
<[M2S]moe> SpiLoT 1, norby89 0
<SpiLoT> and we have a winner! norby89! teacher just failed in his test!Comment: Gay test
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