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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..250251252253254255256..599Next> |
#8127 (133/283) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Szyslak> HAHAHAHA those wacky spanish: "Our download server can only support 300 simultaneous discharges" |
#8554 (111/233) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JungleMason> There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you.
<Gabealicious> Have you tried epoxy?
<JungleMason> Yes, and the smell reminds me of you.
<Gabealicious> Or... maybe some of that spray foam insulation...
<JungleMason> I LOVE that shit.
<Gabealicious> me too!
<JungleMason> Tastes GREAT on a Triscuit.
<Gabealicious> Yes ... some folks call it 'ez cheez'
<JungleMason> Burger King calls it "Ranch Dip." |
#10360 (140/299) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the computer looking at pictures of dildos
<Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad |
#10430 (139/296) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* cj_ installs svgalib.
<cj_> gonna test quake2 on linux
<nwinter> nice.
<cj_> then i can play with myself
<nwinter> GRODEY.
<cj_> no seriously. my monitors face inwards at me, and both the mice are
within an arms reach. i can chase myself around. |
#10512 (151/323) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cj_> this guy is selling STEAKS door to door
<jej> SWEET.
<cj_> he's hella pushy too.
<jej> BUY MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's giving her his cellphone number
<cj_> he actually brought stake with him to show her
<jej> LOOK AT MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's showing her each piece of meat now
<spides> ahaha
<spides> Door to Door Meat
<spides> maybe he's propositioning her in some weird fetishy way
<cj_> this guy is a freak
<cj_> if i had answered the door he woulda been gone about 10 minutes ago
<cj_> who the hell does door-to-door at 8:30
<spides> who the fuck sells steak door to door
<cj_> good fucking question. this guy might be a nut |
#10950 (169/367) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Drezdar> I yelled at my mom the other day for opening my shades while I wasn't home. I told her "I don't allow sunlight to enter my room." She looked at me funny and then walked away. |
#33398 (168/362) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Paulson McIntyre: hey, whats up?
Ohzie: Depends on what you consider down. It could be anything, depending on the point of reference.
Paulson McIntyre: ...smart ass |
#33751 (164/352) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kharma|elsewhereness> I can't wait for the day when brothels have drive-thru blowjobs. |
#34916 (219/479) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine |
#35593 (183/395) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-> SignOff boby|sleep: #afterhoursdjs (Connection reset by a lil mexican with wire clippers.) |
#38075 (102/214) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[n17ikh] olympics?
[n17ikh] what's that?
[n17ikh] is that like the CS tournament?
[Malpine] Yah but you can't kill anyone.
[Schizo] yeah, and the koreans don't win as muchComment: irc.zirc.org
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#39992 (116/248) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[f] Jism [jism@roach.infested.w-wasteland.com] has joined #linux
[f] mode/#linux [+o Jism] by X2
(Ark): Jis! just in time to test my new perl bot
(@Jism): k
(Ark): say hello to NIGGABOT
(@Jism): err hello NiggaBOT
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: hello is SUP G'DAWG
(@Jism): dude wtf
(Ark): cool or what?
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: cool is MAN THIS SHIT IS TIGHT!
(@Jism): Ark, i am going to stab you if you don't shut this fucking thing off
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: stab is POP A CAP IN YO ASS
(@Jism): fuck this i'm outta here
(@Jism): bye
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: bye is CHECK YOU LATER HOMIE |
#41894 (127/269) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Equiv> I once thought as a child that if I could whistle well then life would be complete and worth living.
<Equiv> Then I realized that I can't whistle at all.
<Equiv> When I see a beautiful and intelligent girl dating a random idiot I sometimes writhe with nefarious intent and maleficent evil--until I realize that perhaps the random idiot in question can whistle very well, and it is his secret talent, and he has whistled for her, and that is why she stays with him. |
#42051 (146/312) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< joshk> i met some dude at a Debian dinner
< joshk> his girlfriend was like
< joshk> COLOSSAL
< joshk> and was about a foot taller than him
< koitsu> she was the size of a redhat distribution. |
#42095 (129/277) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KyleG> I know why aliens haven't landed here. They've seen the way we think of them on tv and in video games and know if they get close we'll just blow them.
<KyleG> *blow them up |
#47172 (94/196) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[10:39] <netmunky> a notice to users: do not open any URL containing sonask.org or pamelasporn.mpg, this is a self-spreading trojan. if you think you are infected, use task manager to kill mirc.exe, and del c:\windows\system32\mirc.exe
[10:44] <netmunky> yes, i am well aware many of you run linux, congratulations to bird60356, you were the first to notify me. to the other 2 dozen, i don't care |
#49988 (247/539) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<moo> I want to get a stuffed kitten doll, and then go to the sporting goods store and buy one of those walnut plaques they use to mount animal heads.
<tbird> ok
<moo> After cutting the stuffed kitten doll in half (front half and back half), I'll take the back have and attach it to the plaque.
<moo> I will hang this on the wall of my office.
<tbird> ok
<moo> When people ask me what the hell it is, I will answer, "That's a cat ass trophy. I figure if I can keep it here, the business will run more smoothly."
<moo> Then, after a month of answering this question, I will detach the half-kitten doll from the plaque and leave it laying on my desk.
<moo> When people ask me what the hell happened, I will answer, "Cat ass trophic failure."
<tbird> o_O |
#50338 (169/363) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(placid|work) i knew a girl that was fat just because of her asthma medication
(@Rayn) what was she taking for asthma ... cheeseburgers? |
#55688 (152/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@JustinS> if I wanted to learn more about using Perl for larger programming projects...
<@JustinS> where would I go?
<@Koston> to hell
<@corecode> to a mental hospital?Comment: #DragonFlyBSD @ efnet
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#55800 (139/295) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Twin`> do you know how hard it would be to fake intelligence without google?
<swight> sorry, my browser crashed, I can\'t answer that |
#58591 (188/406) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
pancreas: If homosexuality is a disease, can I call in gay? |
#65001 (201/433) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<swight> hope colbert wins an emmy
<timmo> pz
<timmo> emmy for most likely to get shot in the face by the cia
<timmo> for mocking the president
<swight> cia doesn't shoot people in the face, that's the vice prez
<timmo> toucheComment: #geekissues
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#33895 (189/411) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ristora> brant: you know gullibles not in the dictionary
<Ristora> it;s crazy :|
<Brant> Ristora: what the crap are you talking about?
<Brant> Ristora: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gullible
<Ristora> hhahhahh
<Brant> HAHAHAHHAHA
<Brant> OMG
<Brant> FUCK YOUComment: I got owned :(
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#40009 (75/155) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MouseTrapBob3749> Dude i think my dog is stoned
<Sanchezisgod> wut the hell? y in the hell would u think that?
<MouseTrapBob3749> dude hes obviously stoned man he keeps talking to me! |
#42060 (129/275) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Saikouro> they are showing a program about Analsex on discovery right now!!
* FURYO has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* GABATOM has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* dewit4 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<Saikouro> ROFLComment: #sushi
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