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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..249250251252253254255..599Next> |
#19473 (156/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pain> wow, I think I won it.
<Mac> whats the reward?
<pain> handjob from the closest female around
<pain> ..would be cool
<Yodaa> agreed.
<pain>> oh no wait, mom is in the kitchen ): |
#20476 (140/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FucKFace> well, im off to go meet my girlfriends husband |
#22838 (130/276) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Alex> whenever i finally think i'm gonna dump this girl, she always says something that changes my mind, like right before i say something
<Alex> generally a 'i love you alex'
<Alex> shes a psychic gold digger :( |
#24238 (164/352) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
'mouth: Channel Spike Lee and shit'll really hit the fan.
Mach5: Okay, in this scene, you're approached by a crackhead who's offering you a blowjob in exchange for money to buy a cheeseburger.
Mach5: And, action.
'mouth: I immediately run and go home to comfort my inner turmoil with a crack pipe.
Mach5: Cut. You're hopeless.
'mouth: Up yours. I'm an artist.
Mach5: Wait, I'll channel Paul Verhoeven.
Mach5: In this scene, you're approached by a crackhead, who is subsequently beatdown by a threesome of busty, lusty bisexuals, who proceed to offer you a blowjob in exchange for a cheeseburger.
'mouth: Are we digging for bash material or cybering at this point?
Mach5: I've lost track. A/S/L? |
#25169 (144/308) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EssKay> i don't want to have fucking poles in my underwear, man.
<Rjx> that joke went so far over your head it got hijacked and flown into a major landmark |
#25617 (142/302) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ronwe> Why is it that every time I say something everybody runs to "bas"?
<Ronwe> wtf is bash
<viro|away> http://www.bash.org
* Ronwe goes
<Ronwe> oh fuck. |
#28914 (145/313) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mef> USB > USA |
#29352 (151/323) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<clay> ive always wanted to pay a hot cashier with food stamps and then ask her out |
#103191 (261/569) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
23:31 < avoozl> hmm there is a disk failing in my machine
23:31 < avoozl> going klunk klunk every half an hour
00:01 < avoozl> the bad news is that the disk is really dying
00:02 < avoozl> the good news is that i cannot find any mount points/raid entrys/lvms that actually _use_ that disk |
#133097 (263/575) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Peppery> i did get started on that xml thing
<Peppery> then got bored and wrote a program that prints random strings and makes my terminal look like the matrix |
#295693 (298/656) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Internet_Bound20> Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML |
#296750 (246/536) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Zerox: are you black
Eris: yes
Zerox: tell me the truth
Eris: I took a quiz online
Eris: it told me I'm black |
#297734 (117/247) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nick> knuck
<knuck> what
<Nick> do you have a fossil museum near you?
<Nick> I know there's like over 100 collections or someting in Brazil, so I Was curious.
<MonopolyMan> i have a fossil museum in my animal crossing town if that helps |
#303704 (140/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@michael`> Kim Kardashian, Ellen DeGeneres Praise Overturning of Prop. 8?
<@michael`> thank GOD she spoke out
<@michael`> i was sitting here thinking
<@michael`> jesus christ, WHAT does kim kardashian think about this |
#307043 (39/75) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> god damn it
<@Rjx> whoever said I'd learn to like the Star Trek Enterprise theme was right |
#74 (283/621) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JCamel> heh, no, because i jacked off into his mom's black bra, and she blamed it on him |
#261 (188/407) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EFX>I hate it when the cats stare at me when I go into the livingroom to jackoff to pornos :( |
#1671 (136/288) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(BudhaM0nk) i want hard drives so small i can snort them up like powder and increase my brain capacity |
#2234 (157/337) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<D\TOX> my wife says the white trash have already come up with a new name for Osama
<D\TOX> "Osama Bin Hidin"
<D\TOX> that's really sticking it to him
<refugee> man, that must have took all their brain power
<D\TOX> cases upon cases of RC Cola were drank |
#2556 (148/316) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and glasses, then it lets u on |
#4218 (127/269) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(CamelToe) did I ever tell you I have a CAT-5 outlet in my downstairs bathroom, so I can chat while I poo
(Q`) A friend of mine has a "pleestation"
(Q`) "plee" meaning bathroom
(Q`) It's a pc with fast internet connection, games etc... right in front of the toilet
(Q`) :-P
(CamelToe) so I guess if you're playing a game such as Undying, you can really scare the shit out of yourself
(Q`) Hahaha |
#5443 (149/318) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away |
#6516 (189/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bus> what can I help you with, xorg?
<xorg> well
<xorg> when uncle daddy touches my bathing suit
<xorg> i get all tingly
<xorg> but the bible says NO |
#7659 (164/352) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me? I have lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free. thats what hackers use, isn't it?
<TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
<xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive. windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff |
#7994 (134/285) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< BigBadGangsta> I swear, I need to write a book called "Stupid shit for stupid fucks"
<@mewse> by a retard, for retards |
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