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#6711 (149/321) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag * Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes don't have feet!"
* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and getting detention |
#7028 (167/363) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Conskill> That kinda gun brings out the raving gun loving American in us all.
<The_Tick> Over and under shotgun. Three throwing knives. The ability to hide.
<Rain> yeah, seriously.
<Rain> The_tick - Huh?
<The_Tick> That's all you need.
<The_Tick> And it's cheeeep.
<Twinkcide> Rain: The bullets are embedded in cakes of propellant instead of casings. It was designed to overcome the problem of recoil pushing the barrel off target while firing in bursts
<Twinkcide> Has an insane ROF while in 3-round burst mode, and no recoil until the third round has left the barrel
<Pander> Tick: That won't kill a velociraptor.
<The_Tick> On the other hand, I'd sleep with that thing if I had one.
<Pander> I base all gun purchases on "Will this kill a velociraptor?" |
#7302 (141/301) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <DarkEra> Tolkan, you must be the dumbest person on the planet
<Tolkan> im smark...
<Tolkan> smart. |
#8588 (139/299) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then.... |
#9286 (163/350) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <jre> What should I read next, the Canterbury Tales, Don Quixote, or a book on Greek Mythology?
<GenericSuperhero> READE YW OLDE KANTVRBVRY TALES
<GenericSuperhero> THEYE ARE SHURE TO BEE VARY INTERASTINGE
<GenericSuperhero> HOPEFULLYE, YOU WILL READE IT IN THINE OLDE ENGLISHE
<EvilKosh> HELLO I AM JRE AND I HAVE TO READ HIGH FALOOTIN' BOOKS
<jre> GENARIKE, THOU ART AN FAGOTE OF THE LOW'ST ORDRE
<GenericSuperhero> THANKE YOU JAREE-EE
<jre> DAMN'D BE THOU SEED, AND MAY'ST IT NE'ER PRODUSE A PERSYONE OF ATTRAKTIVE CALIBAR
<GenericSuperhero> AYE, TISS MUSTVE HAPPENED TO YONDERS MOTHERE WHENCE THOU WAS CAPTURED WITHIN HER WOMBE!
<jre> THOU SPEAKST LIKE A RAGEING MANHAT
<GenericSuperhero> AH! THEN EYE SPEAKTH LIKE THINES FATHRE! |
#9975 (141/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill. |
#10724 (178/388) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m |
#11551 (148/319) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Josho> the cube is but an infant
<Josho> soon it will be flexing and thinking about cubettes
<Josho> noticing files in weird places
<Josho> experiencing new and unusual programs and applications
<Guilty> MY GOD WE MUST KILL IT NOW |
#240606 (128/274) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag < whatsinthename> whats the command to turn on conference mode for this channel
< doub> just "hi!" is sometimes working
< inflex> change your nick to something like Sweet16Candy |
#295284 (51/103) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag Tenacious: ...yahoo mail is too easy to get into...
Tenacious: all you need is someone's birthday and a general knowledge of them
Ghostman: lol
Ghostman: whose account did you break into?
Tenacious: someone broke into my brothers...so I broke in again, and went in, changed his security question
Tenacious: someone got into his email first...then used that to get into his facebook and change his status to 'I am masturbating' |
#295969 (166/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <&protospork> I think I'll see this new fast & furious movie
<&protospork> they've finally got the formula right
<&protospork> "vin diesel driving cars" |
#296704 (169/367) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <JasonDM> finally
<JasonDM> the new realtek audio drivers have an option to disable the auto-detection crap
<DominoEffect> took them long enough
<JasonDM> no more stupid notifications that I plugged/unplugged my headphones, yay
<JasonDM> especially when they're still plugged in and I didn't do anything with them
<DominoEffect> "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "...thanks." "NP DUDE"
<DominoEffect> the little two tone windows noise is enough to let me know it's plugged in all the way
<JasonDM> "HEY YOU JUST UNPLUGGED SHIT" "No...I didn't..." "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "NO!" |
#302858 (41/81) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <wenqi> projection just means where is the point on the plane
<Withad> bleh. i shall get to that at some point.
<Withad> or maybe i'll just find somewhere quiet to curl up and die.
<wenqi> try library 4th or 5th floor, those are pretty quiet
<kenmcfa> or 3rd?
<wenqi> 3 is ok but i think it's a no wifi floor |
#309377 (58/118) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Zetetic> What's the extra four-digit code on my library card?
<Tonitrus> Missile access code
<Tonitrus> For emergencies
<Zetetic> Even our government isn't that stupid
* Zetetic hopes
<akkark> what does it read?
<Zetetic> Four digits
<Zetetic> I'd tell you, but I'm worried Tonitrus is right
<Zetetic> So I don't want to say it on a public channel |
#34215 (153/331) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
<Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
<DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
<Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog |
#34381 (153/331) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag * Sleigh dons the Jeans of Drunkeness +1 (-2 Against Bushes) |
#38958 (104/220) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <@TsN|Jake> would anyone be so kind as to call my phone and help me figure out where the hell it is?
<@Jedi|w> haha
<@TsN|Jake> I'm not kidding |
#39079 (136/292) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <@Wegs> SHOW YOUR VOTE 2004
<@Wegs> IF you support John Howard for Prime Minister, please drive during the DAY with your headlights ON.
<@Wegs> IF you support Mark Latham for Prime Minister, please drive at NIGHT with your headlights OFF.
<@Wegs> Thank you for your participation! |
#46107 (117/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Wookie^> hmm ouch
<Wookie^> not great headlines side by side
<Wookie^> British Media Delight In London's Joy
<Wookie^> Blasts Hit London, Capital In Chaos |
#46290 (76/158) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Tigs> i used to try not to swear
<Tigs> then one day i thought
<Tigs> Fuck it |
#52916 (137/295) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Scythe-> so
<Scythe-> i got sick of my compyboxen crashing
<Scythe-> due to (i suspect) an overheating video card
<Scythe-> so i pulled it off, pulled the heat sink off, scraped off the stock heat conductive goo and put on some propper stuff
<Scythe-> so now i'm waiting to see if it's going to crash
[19:04:33] <Scythe-> or explode into flame
[19:07:33] * Scythe- (~hahaha@Scythe-.engineer.gamesurge) has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<ari> I'd say explode.
<ari> That was what, 3 minutes?Comment: Kaboom
|
#52996 (107/227) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag Zot: Fascinating shit.
Zot: Did you know that male spiders, instead of
copulating with females, will place their sperm on a
web, dip their jaw appendages into it, and then stick
their jaws into the female's vaginal opening?
Zot: I can't wait to use that as a pick-up line.
Zot: :)
Jillness: omg
Jillness: lol
Jillness: Im so gonna borrow that
Zot: It's not a facial; it's spidersex! |
#53187 (168/364) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <Irennicus> Long story short
<Irennicus> Steph and I were having sex
<Irennicus> And as I start to shoot
<Irennicus> I screamed PROTON CANNON |
#55550 (141/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <@dickhead> why use aim though
<@dickhead> its full of aids
<@dickhead> ads*
<@dickhead> either one
<@dickhead> it sucks |
#57670 (174/378) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag <TMH_> hmmm-mm
<TMH_> there really is no feeling quite like a new razorblade
<Rjx> that sounds like a linkin park lyricComment: EFNet/#geekissues
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