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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..208209210211212213214..599Next> |
#44705 (144/280) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<aslplz> w0w dood i juz had a epiphany
<FoSZoR> I dont understand this. How can someone so stupid use such a big word?
<aslplz> google :< |
#44920 (80/150) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jvarner> heh. Tennis commentator at the olympics:
<jvarner> "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... oh my god, what have I just said?"
<nougatmachine> w00t
<jvarner> another fun one:
<jvarner> "Julian Dicks is everywhere - It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
<nougatmachine> haha
* nougatmachine loves this extremely highbrow humor
* jvarner gives nougatmachine a melvin. |
#46063 (124/240) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Genocidal> I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots? |
#49727 (180/354) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Neo> simps....
<Neo> can you setup PHP-Nuke?
<Neo> or post-PHP?
<simps> wtf is PHP
<Neo> ok. that answers that |
#51081 (178/350) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@jestuh> ahh huge paper due at 9am and haven't even opened word yet
<@DigDug> start -> run -> winword
<@DigDug> [ok]
<@jestuh> sweet phase 1 is complete! |
#54235 (174/342) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Styx> it hurt like a bitch, but apparently my pubic hair is stronger than duct tapeComment: #bored
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#55223 (187/369) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< finn> I let god decide if I'm going to school tomorrow or not, by just not setting an alarm
< finn> "if god wanted me to be in school today, he woulda woken me up" |
#56632 (166/324) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@irokie> why with the weeping? are you a woman in the throes of birth?
< Plastic> ;_;
< Inky> Apparently so!
<@brazil> ;_;o <-- I can see th head
<@irokie> ...he's giving birth out his ear?Comment: #netsoc
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#63583 (161/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Xeneizes> I don't think I'm going to look at my video game code websites on another family member's PC.
<Xeneizes> Stupid advertisements.
<Xeneizes> I didn't like having to explain hentai to my 3 year old cousin. :( |
#14533 (172/337) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Vedic> Boiling cheese = DON'T EAT |
#15943 (171/335) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline
<Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
<SamGod> Coda: 'cuz I smell like gasoline
<Coda> why?
<SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a few hours last night
<Twist-> See? he is a psycho.
<SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc...
<Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car? |
#17009 (190/374) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jonathans> i can stand on the sides of my ankles
<jonathans> both heels inward
<jonathans> i can balance on one for a bit
<clay> i can touch my penis with my hands |
#18496 (172/338) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Temptrezz> Do you ever find yourself going out to dinner with people you can't stand
<Cokecan> All the time, I call her my girlfriend |
#21952 (161/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Betharoni> My internet connection is so slow tonight, I think it's being sent to a train depot, translated into one's and zero's, manually typed and sent by a telegraph wire to the server, where it's manually recompiled to one's and zero's for the machine. By two-year-old's. |
#22279 (188/370) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a friend that was going through CS in college, so we were talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department now?" |
#25137 (157/307) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Dawai> i feel like fucking my gf in the ass real hard
<Dawai> the only problem is she dumped me some time ago |
#26306 (184/362) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves |
#27902 (189/373) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark" |
#28317 (193/381) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Saber, just imagine yourself being gangbanged by moths. This is what will happen to you if you don't behave.
<Saber> what
<Saber> I didn't do anything
<Saber> and I have a bat
<Saber> I'll fight them off
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> That's not going to help a lot.
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Can't you just feel their tiny cocks writhing against your skin, Saber?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Just straining to reach an orifice?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Do you like it?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Does it feel good?
<Saber> That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me |
#29800 (204/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SmAuR> i got bandwidth that im not using, and i feel guilty, think of the poor africans with their can and string internet connections |
#29931 (190/374) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mr_X> I once went fishing with K0ffing and we caught syphilis.
<K0ffing> worst tasting fish ever |
#30304 (159/313) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet = convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning, and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know jack about you |
#30461 (189/375) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet another with a table leg."
<FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle, talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table leg before they found the photographs. |
#32764 (202/398) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jwz> I am not making this up:
<jwz> "Dear Sir,
<jwz> My name is SAMUEL JACKSON . I am the Family private
<jwz> Secretary/legal adviser to the former President of Liberia
<jwz> Charles Taylor before he was forced out of power and sent on exile in
<jwz> Nigeria."
<jwz> nowhere in this spam do the words "bad mother fucker" appear
<jeriko> a fake! |
#14205 (203/403) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<hoche> heredocs, theredocs, everwhereadocsdocs
<geo> old macdonald had a server farm
<geo> He eyed the I/O |
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