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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..210211212213214215216..599Next> |
#3421 (141/275) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DrWoody> One time I was at the store with my friend and there were these underage kids in the porn section they kicked out while we were in there.
<DrWoody> so they gave us their money and we bought porn for them
<L33TKnight> your good deed for the day?
<DrWoody> I like to give back to society. |
#7327 (152/298) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ILLSKILLZ00> what would having a computer in my pool acomplish?
<sKratch zEro> potential death to people swimming in it |
#8123 (137/267) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<arturo-pain-afk> what makes you think it is?
* Sphinx45 points to the door.
<Sphinx45> the sign says so!
<arturo-pain-afk> what sign?
<arturo-pain-afk> theres no sign
* Nelyx adjusts the "Number of Days without having to deal with an Idiot!" sign, so that it now reads 0 |
#8376 (184/363) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rach|Dressing > i just had the yummiest shower
<Rach|Dressing > it was nice and hot
<Fentom > ....damn it people prove that your hands ARE ON THE KEYBOARD after that comment |
#8394 (160/313) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<crazymaninvan> boobs on the life channel!
<Spamalope> What species? |
#34146 (178/352) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Valek> Life sucks, I hope I get drunk this weekend.
<WzL> life sucks
<WzL> and it don't even swallow
<Valek> Yeah but if your lucky you find a girl who does, then life doesn't suck anymore.
<WzL> But if yer unlucky she lives in another country
<Valek> And if your really unlucky shes a guy.
<Valek> And if your really fucked
<Valek> She has a bigger penis then you |
#35281 (235/467) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Luigi30> I'm so l33t
<Luigi30> I overclocked my record player to 77RPM |
#38557 (161/315) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions |
#38848 (83/157) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<remisser> Man... I really have to walk in to Condomworld and see what kind of people work there.
<comet_11> they're probably dicks |
#43730 (141/275) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<truth-> I was wrong, the KKK aren't racist, they're just portrayed that way by the insidious liberal media.
<truth-> It's all explained on their informative website.
<truth-> My eyes have been opened to the truth!
<truth-> A. We don't kill black people. This is another mis-conception about the Klan. What is true is that there have been men in the past who joined the Klan in order to benefit from the wearing of the robe and hood - to be able to commit a crime against some one they did not like. This was not the objective of the Klan, but only the prerogative of some misfits in the 60's.
<truth-> They don't kill black people... This question is so common they had to answer it in the FAQ.Comment: Efnet
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#48577 (182/362) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
--> GakFace (~GakFace@SF-C3E4458F.aubnin.dsl-w.verizon.net) has joined #prometheus
<GakFace> I'd just like to let you all know that I"m missing class right now and that I have a very good reason.
<GakFace> I have no freaking idea WHERE my keys are
<GakFace> Not one single clue.
<numist> :o
<numist> and you came here to ask us to help you find them? |
#50467 (129/251) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Nipya: I just produced award-winning television.
Nipya: we played smash brothers melee on the college tv station, with group commentary |
#51025 (192/380) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kiell> So I get a text message on Friday from a number I didn't recognise...
<Kiell> it reads:
<Kiell> "Hi agatha this is betty i do not have very many clothes to be ironed this week i am sorry but please can you come next week. i hope you are well. betty."
<Kiell> I ponder this for an hour or two, and then reply:
<Kiell> "That's ok, betty. I fucking suck at ironing. See you next week. Aggie." |
#54997 (183/361) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<buu> sex, drugs and lans
<buu> right
<worm> sounds like a documentary
<buu> sounds like fun
<dirt|afk> sex drugs and lans?
<dirt|afk> um... you mean, porn, asthma inhalers and ... lans? |
#55571 (171/337) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mostlyharlmless> might be Leviticus, or it might be Deuterotemy... hell, maybe even late Genesis
<Nickface> After Phil Collins left? |
#56978 (202/400) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Buliwif> I'M ON VACATION!
<Buliwif> WOOOOOOOOOO
<tumblemonster> cool.. Where?
<Buliwif> right... freakin.... here.... i'm gonna do nothing... sit back, relax, and retool my life
<tumblemonster> retool eh?
<Buliwif> i call it "spring cleaning for the soul"
<tumblemonster> ok. What does that involve? ingesting industrial strength cleaning solvents?
<Buliwif> ummm no.....
<Buliwif> cleaning my room, cleaning my car, cleaning everything that involves me... refreshing myself, freeing myself from the bonds of my past and moving forward with a fresh outlook and revitalised nature
<tumblemonster> so, like, visiting a hooker?
<Buliwif> indeed |
#58364 (169/333) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Irishblood is now known as talkin_to_cops
<talkin_to_cops> be back in a very long time |
#36920 (134/262) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(Nick): Remember that one time, when Razer put his name as `, and I didn't know it was him? lol
(Razer): Nick
(Razer): That was yesterday..
(Syntax[Sleep]{BTW_usuq}): Hahahaha
(Nick): ummm..
(Nick): <_<
(Nick): >_>
(Deranged): Stop smoking crack |
#37225 (162/320) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<HiddenGenius> I think instead of having Joe Millionare they should have "Joe Minor"
<HiddenGenius> they could have like a 16 year old kid that looks a lot older do their show
<HiddenGenius> then they could see how many women have sex with him during the show
<HiddenGenius> and for the big finale, SUPRISE!!! YOURE ALL GOING TO JAIL! |
#47394 (252/508) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<eosyn> 90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.
<+Dulak> How wide is canada?
<IdiotStic> depends on the map. about 14 inches on this one :)Comment: #LinuxGeneration
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#47543 (206/410) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Syntacs> I just got a mail with the subject "Kiss those big legs goodbye". Either it's cellulite-burning spam, or Tonya Harding is threatening me again.Comment: silicon3d
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#49807 (189/375) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scerez> Something Amber has...that no other girl has >:O
<ShunDhaos> a penis?
<AmberRae> a oenis
<Fluffy> a penis?
<AmberRae> penis |
#54148 (228/456) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mivalekan> why are most girls so insecure about their weight
<Produkt> becuase theyre fat
<finn> because they are fat |
#57863 (162/320) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> holy shit, I finally found out why my toe hurts like hell
<Trinexx> somewhere between the computer and the bathroom, I lost a toenail |
#58726 (247/495) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
suurlemoen: usually I can't even run a whole mile
scythen32: ...
scythen32: not something i would tell people
suurlemoen: no, there are a lot of people who can't run a mile
scythen32: yes
scythen32: they are called americans |
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