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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..192193194195196197198..599Next> |
#19506 (169/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jwz> I think the world is full of tattoo artists who did not learn the lesson that spiderman tried to teach us
<jwz> "with great power comes great responsibility" |
#21554 (204/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Motorbreath151: I love
TheOffspring326: what?
Motorbreath151: oh sorry
Motorbreath151: forgot to finnish my sentence
Motorbreath151: I-KIRJAIN lempiä ilakoida televisio kisat
Motorbreath151: there we go
TheOffspring326: what the fuck
Motorbreath151: i finnished it
Motorbreath151: stupid
Motorbreath151: finnish is a language |
#21841 (219/421) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Darien> I'm trying to decide how to ask Kristen out
<Darien> should I go the 'I was thining of catching a movie, wondered if...' route
<Darien> or the 'We need to go to a movie, like tonight.' route
<Darien> or what?
<dsalkjdsa> first of all, you need to start it off with 'bitch'
<dsalkjdsa> THEN you say ssomething strong and pushy, bitches like that
<Darien> yeah
<Darien> that's true'
<dsalkjdsa> bitch, get in my car, we're going to a dinner and movie; by dinner i mean we're going to have sex, and by movie i mean we're going to tape it.
<dsalkjdsa> oohh yeahhh.
<dsalkjdsa> something like that :) |
#23983 (171/325) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine |
#28712 (177/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<_Zippo_> Oh what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. Now my mother is saying "Leet". I have had an adverse effect on her sanity. |
#29305 (211/405) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ath> you're too BITTAR
<X-Ultron> haha
<X-Ultron> tell that to all the nutcases that i encounter on the streets of harrisburg
<X-Ultron> the other day, i was out getting lunch
<X-Ultron> and i saw a black impala ss
<X-Ultron> so i was admiring it
<X-Ultron> and as i turned around
<X-Ultron> this bum walks up to me with his fist extended
<X-Ultron> "yoooo!!! it's been a long time! you can see that I shaved mine off [he was referring to my goatee]"
<X-Ultron> then i'm just standing there with a blank look on my face
<X-Ultron> and this dude does this weird handshake thing
<X-Ultron> then whispers "i'm a fisherman" and walks away
<Supachikn> hahahah
<Supachikn> oh my god
<X-Ultron> first thing i did was check to make sure i still had my wallet and keys :BComment: #hydrogenaudio on freenode
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#29952 (372/726) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Ron> I had to explain to some people what a firewall was
<+Ron> so I said it was like the U.S. border
<+Ron> and the hackers were the mexicans
<+Da_Foo> XD
<+Ron> and without a firewall, mexicans can get in your computer |
#30564 (209/401) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rac00n> Security Level: Paranoid, Maximum, Medium, Low, RedHat. |
#31864 (160/304) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ketchup> lol
<Ketchup> i said to my dad on msn
<Ketchup> can you bid on something for me
<Ketchup> and he said yep, what is it
<Ketchup> and i gave him the link to the seven million dollar aircraft carrier
<Ketchup> he blocked me
<Ketchup> http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2454839870&indexUR L=4&photoDisplayType=2#ebayphotohosting |
#31935 (204/390) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[@cjohnson]: I found out today that I'm only 5'5"
[@cjohnson]: :(
[@cjohnson]: I thought I was like 7'2"
[[DC_T]Rowsdower11]: heh
[@beoba]: what, your height?
[@cjohnson]: ...
@cjohnson]: no, i weigh 5'5" |
#31969 (165/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<edisk> wtf
<edisk> webmd says not to use topical salicylic acid on unborn babies
<edisk> Now, how you're gonna wipe down a fetus with an oxy pad I don't knowComment: irc.nerdtopia.org #lobby
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#32935 (185/353) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HanSkywalker> there is only one reason i disliked ROTK
<Errtu> don't get me wrong. i do like the movie. i just think they could've done certain things different
<HanSkywalker> they cut the fucking shower scene
<HanSkywalker> erm
<HanSkywalker> Shire
<HanSkywalker> hehe
<HanSkywalker> *blink* |
#33188 (246/474) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
porkbelly: jesus fucking christ
WidowMaker: pics? |
#178576 (281/545) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+sev> pegasus
<+sev> wake yo ass up
<@pegasus_> ?
<@pegasus_> i'm awake
<+sev> IRC dance competition
<+sev> go.
<@pegasus_> <o> \o/ <o/ \o>
<+sev> __o__ -_o__ --o__ _-o-_ __o-- __o_- __o__ }o{
<+sev> that's a wave followed by a goatse.
<@pegasus_> you win.
<+sev> yay! |
#269623 (331/641) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jed> god DAMNIT what did i DO WITH IT
<jed> i packed a bowl, right here
<metallic> jed: how high are you?
<jed> i'm not
<jed> that's why i'm LOOKING FOR THE GOD DAMNED WEED |
#290508 (287/555) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
makkusu: THE RULES OF THE INTERNET CAN EAT A BAG OF DICKS
laughlax: Ah, Jason
laughlax: yes they can.
laughlax: rule 34, remember? |
#295905 (120/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mario> Shooter: I eat pieces of *cake* like you for breakfast.
<Mario> Happy: You eat pieces of *cake* for breakfast?
<Mario> Shooter: ...no.
<Mario> god I hate censorship |
#299439 (149/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pgp> i had an out-of-your-mom's body experience, followed by an in-your-mom's body experience, and then repeated those things in a rapid cycle |
#306959 (97/179) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this |
#309709 (39/67) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wushin> Yeah, but I'm a sysadmin so to me, hacks, spam and other exploits are like pokemon and I got to catch them all. |
#1840 (180/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Guilty> Me: "I think I'll send a message" | ICQ: Wait wait, wouldnt you like to search the web? The white pages? The yellow pages? Want me to check your email? Your stocks? On your dog? Look someone on your list has a birthday coming up oh shit go buy them a gift here. But first check your ICQ Pager(TM) and make a few internet phone calls. Go, do it, I'll be here, moving myself to random parts of the screen so I'm never in the position you left me |
#2261 (162/308) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Saffio> I went to microsoft sales training
<Saffio> they gave it to me there [windows XP]
<eldee> Saffio: so did i.. they gave me a laptop case/bookbag thing and office XP pro :)
<eldee> Saffio: the laptop case is sweet... but it has "microsoft licensing agent" embroidered on the back of it... im worried if i wear it in public, i'll get assassinated
<kable> should have told them "no thanks, i downloaded the pro version" |
#2512 (198/379) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`michael> pink floyd - wish you were here is the best goddamn song
<w3nisT> i disagree while it is a very good song I think the donkey kong theme song is better |
#2549 (177/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eras3r> who the hell is digdug?
<element_a> he used to be an old video game
<element_a> then he mutated into an IRC user after someone stole his shovel
<element_a> tragic |
#2583 (189/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha |
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