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#2742 (146/276) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hobbes`> I cracked the shits at ppl knocking on my door last night and answered it naked - teach them to ever ask me for money again stupd door spammers |
#2832 (192/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-Global- [Logon News - Dec 29 2001] Welcome to Evolnet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the boys are fbi agents. but some of the men are really women. Enjoy! |
#7996 (165/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@mewse> contrary to popular belief there are periods where i dont feel like drinking
<@mewse> these periods, i call "hangovers" |
#8101 (196/375) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Paeyl> why did i just have a sudden image of a penis with tentacles at the tip
<alayna> cthulhuitis
<Paeyl> is there an antibiotic for that?
<Paeyl> "doc, i have a problem." "what?" "it's my.. penis.. it .. " "yes?" "it can.. write its own name."
<geo> That's not a problem, son...that's a potential career. |
#8296 (165/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Under the fence: if your mom were a farm animal, she'd be a sloth
Hobbes659: a sloth isn't a farm animal
Under the fence: damn it, theres gotta be a sloth farm somewhere around here |
#8748 (177/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bayls> I'm downloading "two girls in the woods stop to kiss and piss.mpg".
<Bayls> And it turns out it's an mpg of two chicks in thw woods who stop to kiss, and then piss.
<Bayls> Dunno what I was expecting. |
#9116 (152/287) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^cell^> he was one of those people that had to make multiple objects.. like.. he makes 1 tree, so he says "lets give him a little friend" and at the end there is like 50 trees and like 3000 squirrels |
#9547 (178/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tharivol> once I had to write something on the computer on paper..
<Tharivol> i hit ctrl-c then...
<Tharivol> my brain sorta got jammed in neutral |
#10019 (200/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mormi> Fucked my girlfriend up the ass last night...
<Sp[A]rK> no shit...
<Mormi> Well... some.. |
#10203 (223/425) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DIguana> Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany. |
#33662 (201/385) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DimaV> Anglophobia - Fear of Englishness
<DimaV> wow, some one in the world there are people scared of men with huge sideburns who shout "God save the Queen!", drink tea and play cricket.
<joe> i'd be scared if i seen one |
#34524 (197/377) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Elvo> I show ppl empty DIMM slots and tell them it's virtual memory |
#34526 (204/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ljosa> CNN Breaking News: "Attack at wedding hall in northern Israel injures 20 people, five seriously."
<Selungen> CNN Not-so-breaking news: 500 people dead and 2000 injured in mud slide somewhere in China. Or something. |
#34830 (270/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RHX> Why do people say Shakespeare was so great?
<RHX> His plays just had the same crap in them all the time like
<RHX> "the sky is blue" "aye, tis" "wouldst thou do me the honour of a duel"
<RHX> "most certainly, squire"
<RHX> *clanketh clanketh clanketh*
<RHX> "why, thou hath slain me" "indeed I have"
<RHX> *dies* |
#34844 (228/438) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(sean-): me and my girlfriend did the most bad ass thing
(fleet): anal no lube? |
#36409 (156/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xenophile> the women i've been with who say they dont mastrubate are usualy the wildest in bed...
<crypticreign> really?
<crypticreign> ive found the opposite
<xenophile> wow
<xenophile> perhaps i let loose something in them
<xenophile> must be orgasm after orgasm
<crypticreign> hehe
* gr doubts either of you has a large enough sample set for reliable statistical data here.Comment: #dnalounge
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#44129 (175/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
svladnecjelli: i am recovering from an end of the year drunk
svladnecjelli: i keep hoping that i will find a moderation gene
svladnecjelli: or evidence of it
MotorToad: you're irish
MotorToad: the only thing you can hope for in moderation is salary |
#45065 (179/341) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fimion> i think canada's country code should be .ehComment: amen. (#C&T)
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#45868 (175/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Como> You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
<SavageBasher> mine would be
<SavageBasher> damn I should have brought my camera
<Como> mine would be tilt back to try and get the car to land on its wheels, as it is in GTA
<Como> because if it lands on its roof it will catch fire and explode
<Como> after a few seconds
<Como> and its too much effort to punch in the cheat for the car again |
#48414 (270/526) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PK> Damn left shoulder's out of whack =/
<ST|OnVent> -whats up with your shoulder bro?
<PK> Jumping the gate yesterday, my bag got caught - swung me down and smashed my shoulder
<ST|OnVent> ...
<ST|OnVent> your bag?
<ST|OnVent> did you rip your bag up bro?
<PK> Nah - damn strong bag, it supported me without any problems :|
<ST|OnVent> cause the last thing I would be worrying about is my shoulder, I be worrying about the ol' teabag.
<PK> BAG! BACKPACK!
<ST|OnVent> OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<ST|OnVent> well then
<Toughsox> thought you said NUTSACK
* PK shudders
<ST|OnVent> <3
<ST|OnVent> rofl
<PK> I wouldn't be here today if I'd swung from a gate by my sac :|Comment: G4B2S
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#48735 (228/438) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Lurking) did you know that 62% of statistics are made up on the spot?
(Nick) did you know that joke is unfunny 100% of the time? |
#50339 (169/323) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
CatDog: I'm gonna ask the girl in english class what wow sever she plays on
CatDog: other guys get phone numbers i get ip addressesComment: irc.bungie.org #hat-trick
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#52076 (213/409) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SenReading> omg
<@SenReading> customer just called me over
<@SenReading> shes trying to look at her bank statement
<@SenReading> and there pops up about 3 fucking windows of porn
<@SenReading> which means my net nanny is fucked up
<@SenReading> my god
<@SenReading> i hope she has a sense of humour
<@SenReading> or a lesbian fetish :SComment: #sonata_arctica Austnet
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#53031 (176/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[DragonOutlaw] I have a crazy website/irc idea
[DragonOutlaw] shit my elbow
[DragonOutlaw] I hit it on the desk
[@dragoonz] I like it!
[DragonOutlaw] ASSHOLE DESK
[%ForgottenSin] THATS GENIUS |
#55452 (242/466) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warewolf> haha
<warewolf> I had a coworker who after seeing the sixth sense started acting all freakey around the office
<warewolf> one day he finally let out the joke
<warewolf> he walked up to me, and whispered into my ear (sounding EXTREMELY afraid)
<warewolf> "I see ...GAY PEOPLE!"
<bendy24> you know that the guy the kid talked to in the movie was actually dead...
<bendy24> and didnt know it
<bendy24> so that means...Comment: #linode
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