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#304001 (56/98) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Liam: Are you familiar with Cleverbot?
Scaramouche: Yes.
Scaramouche: She's fun.
Liam: I have two instances of cleverbot talking to each other.
Liam: Although a lot of what they're saying is quite dadaistic
Liam: -Why are all your family and friends working?
-We are not.
-Yes you are.
-Why do you think so?
-Because your math skills are horrible. 198 minus 7 is 191.
-My marbles are right where I need them. Under the feet of my enemies...
Liam: -I have no marshmallows. |
#305934 (80/144) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(duckaroosky) so the whole time you were talking about minecraft for the couple of months i've been here
(duckaroosky) i always thought you were talking about that game on your computer where you guess where the mines are
(duckaroosky) and you have to clear it out
(duckaroosky) i just facepalmed when i realized it's notComment: VBIRC
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#309889 (46/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zelest> I downloaded a porno today...
<Zelest> Which started with a HUGE dubstep drop
<Zelest> Biggest turn off ever |
#33235 (241/463) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ogw-iii> where did I see this quote: "When all you have is a nail gun, every problem looks like a messiah."
<triple6> homedepot.com |
#33488 (215/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the assComment: #fark
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#33818 (249/479) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now... |
#35875 (197/375) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mog> oops
<mog> in jeopardy, it was like crossword clues D
<mog> or something
<ocean2> what on earth are you talking about
<mog> it was "This anonymous source helped to bring down the Nixon Administration"
<mog> it was deep throat
<mog> but I yelled out Blow Job accidentally
<mog> in front of my mom and sister
<mog> :/
<mog> my mom kicked me off the couch, haha |
#36307 (111/209) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Popeye> my brother was talking to one of his friends
<Popeye> and he told them I used linux
<Popeye> and the guy asked if linux was a club drug |
#36319 (114/212) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0. |
#39984 (144/274) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Nick): nobody believed about my abs, so I took a pic of it.. nobody thinks I have a nice sized penis.. so do I have to prove you wrong again?
(Deranged): Exactly how far does your camera zoom? |
#40297 (192/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx0r> long hair is kinda gay
<Rjx0r> especially on guys who have a feminine body
<Rjx0r> because sometimes you think
<Rjx0r> "hey, that chick has a nice ass"
<Rjx0r> and it turns around
<Rjx0r> and it's a spotty dude
<timmo> no thats just you rjx
<Rjx0r> I was hoping some of you would relate to that experience
<blueturtl> on your own there chum
<Rjx0r> damnComment: #geekissues
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#42954 (139/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<piggy> god damnit, someone keeps ringing my p[hone and hanging up right before I answer
<kodd> can't you just call *10#
<piggy> but my phone doesn't have a 10... |
#44073 (174/330) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CaT> Is there A way I can put video files on my computer and then use my computer as a server. Also, if I can, is there a way to limit the total files sent?
<|darc|> No, you need a SUPER SERVER CHIP. They cost BILLIONS.
<FETUS> Don't tell him that darc. Cat you could get away with just a regular server chip and that will only cost a few million. |
#44980 (94/172) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Humour> milkshakes arent that good imo
<Humour> at least not ones made by mcdonalds
<omnigeek> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
<omnigeek> How could you gauge anything by mcdonalds standards
<omnigeek> Thats like having a fat guy rape you in prison and saying you dont enjoy sex. |
#46089 (172/326) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[@nmx] phone: ring ring
[@nmx] me: hello?
[@nmx] woman: is lewis there?
[@nmx] me: no, you have the wrong number
[@nmx] woman: really? the last name is spelled g-e-
[@nmx] me: no, you still have the wrong number |
#49574 (189/359) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
scythen32: i've messed around with truly skinny chicks before
scythen32: it's just weird
scythen32: like instead of love handles
scythen32: they have notched ribs for superior grip |
#50895 (235/449) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<funkin_dudette> gah, my internets being gay
<mellomeh> wow really? my internet is gay too!
<mellomeh> our internets should totally get married
<funkin_dudette> um no thanks
<mellomeh> so you're saying our internets should break up?
* mellomeh has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* funkin_dudette has quit IRC (*.net *.split) |
#52405 (239/459) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<elfodox> so the boggle solver works... I'm going to set some high scores on web-boggle :)
<elfodox> it takes a while to parse the 3.6mb dictionary file :(
<elfodox> if my dad gets a supercomputer for his company, I'll use it to solve boggle at never-before imagined speeds :P
<fr_gment> At mind boggling speeds, perhaps? |
#52717 (143/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-!- Vyk [~Vyk@dhcp19.public.ummu.umich.edu] has quit [Ping timeout: 198
seconds]
<@orange1> that would be vyk spilling root beer on his powerbookComment: he works in the cube next to mine. he yelled some might loud profanities.
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#59840 (302/584) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< RichiH> imagine you are a reporter
< RichiH> a tornado hunter in the US
< RichiH> you see a person clinging to a lamppost, trying to survive
< RichiH> you are in a _heavy_ car, and thus totally save even right next to the eye of the thing
< RichiH> so you drive nearer to the scene
< RichiH> you see that the person trying to survive is george w. bush
< RichiH> so now you have two options:
< RichiH> either you save him, having him in debt forever, becoming famous for life and probably getting a large sum from him in return
< RichiH> or you let him die, making the pictures of your life, getting fame and money too, but having a very powerful clan against you for life
< RichiH> so, what do you choose?
< RichiH> video or photo? |
#61925 (190/360) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dj-Danstar_Project> i never said i was a dj |
#67376 (149/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SuperJuan> ffs
<SuperJuan> why doesn't the jobcentre website have a section for "jobs where you can irc and smoke weed at work"
<smilertoo> they do, they're listed under tech support |
#70470 (240/460) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Kiro> I totally pulled the Jedi mind trick on someone.
<+Kiro> Like, we get commissions for tours and stuff.
<+Kiro> 15 bucks per tour if its from 1 of our 2 companies, nothing if its from this 3rd party.
<+Kiro> So this guy insists on getting 8 tours from this 3rd company.
<+Kiro> So I just looked at him and was like.
<+Kiro> "You don't want this tour company"
<+Kiro> ANd he was all.
<+Kiro> "I dont want this tour company" |
#12029 (197/375) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlakMajiK> my dad said "we need to get ready for this y2k bullshit, i'm gonna fill the fridge in the basement full of beer" |
#13068 (204/387) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> hmm.....goatse.cx is a better link
<ganonboy> what section of the site are the ROMS in?
<ganonboy> ? is it http://www.goatse.cx
<ganonboy> ??
<Rjx> yup
<ganonboy> I dont see any N64 roms?
<Rjx> what do you see?
<ganonboy> A sick picture...
<Rjx> click on it
<Rjx> it's an imagemap
<Rjx> click on his ass
<ganonboy> you are lying
<Rjx> did you try it?
<ganonboy> yes
<ganonboy> and nothing happens |
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