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#38950 (157/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TheCommiser> my PC now has 2 UV cathodes in it
<TheCommiser> and
<TheCommiser> an on off switch for said cathodes on the front
* TheCommiser (BEST@mpx-39DBDABE.cosh.broadband.ntl.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* TheCommiser (BEST@mpx-39DBDABE.cosh.broadband.ntl.com) has joined #groan
* Chanserv sets mode: +o TheCommiser
<TheCommiser> that wasnt the cathode switch |
#40333 (216/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+HauntedUnix> Heard there's been an open-source explosion in Florida...
<+Nimbus> Oh?
<+HauntedUnix> Well no one there has Windows anymore.. |
#40400 (164/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Entro-P> sometimes karma comes back *way* too fast, i heard the wind howling outside and the rain whipping against my window, then heard a clatter down the street and someone shouting as they chsed whatever they'd dropped ... i laughed to myself, thinking haha it sure is windy ... then i remembered i still had laundry hanging on the line :(Comment: irc.freenode.net #nethack
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#40935 (156/286) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Inuchance> rotate the computer case until the north bridge is actually north of the south bridge
<Panthar> OK, thanx.
<GnarlyBob> be sure to compensate for magnetic north vs. true north
<Inuchance> this can double the speed of your computer, as now your computer doesn't have to spend every other CPU operation flipping the bits upsidedown
<Panthar> Inuchance, ahh, I was wondering why all my binary dumps had 0 and -1 |
#44913 (239/447) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<phrog> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full. |
#46326 (148/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Darien> my mother comes into my room while I'm coding, and says 'after you're done this, I can get you to do the dishes?'
<Darien> and I think that, for once in my life, she's recognized that I'm actually doing something that requires concentration
<Darien> turns out she was trying to hand me a bowl of chips |
#47730 (254/476) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@Amnizu) SPECIAL
(@Amnizu) back me up
(@Special) tar cfz amnizu.tar.gz -C amnizu/ && mv amnizu.tar.gz /backupsComment: irc.zirc.org #ZiRC
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#48575 (194/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<VVelox_w> hey all
<VVelox_w> why would a memory address ever be negative?
<Heero> because it's depressed
<Heero> I mean, who isn't now a daysComment: #freebsd on ECNet
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#49051 (229/427) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Shinohara> damned wireless connection
<Shinohara> fucking thing has more trouble staying up than Bob Dole
<Shinohara> I need wi-fiagra or something.... |
#49808 (226/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
rej3cter13: To all those applying to college, PLEASE do not write ANYTHING like the following in your college essay! As fun as they are to read...
rej3cter13: "The boat glided across the lake as gracefully and smoothly as a bowling ball wouldn't."
rej3cter13: "...and he realized he loved her. Every time he heard her voice he thought he heard bells, like the sound of a dump truck backing up."
rej3cter13: "She was as tall as a 6 foot 3 inch tree."
rej3cter13: I believe I made my point. |
#52155 (231/431) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
homerundude85: i had a dream that i was playing poker with the devil
dackattac: Really?
dackattac: Did you win?
homerundude85: yeah i did
dackattac: Sweet
dackattac: What did you win?
homerundude85: a trip to heaven and a diet soda
dackattac: I knew the devil was somehow associated with aspartame. |
#55139 (192/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Yaakov> Humans can divide things into two by eye very accurately.
< RichiH> Yaakov: laser eyes? |
#55726 (207/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@Tenor) man
(@Tenor) I got owned
(@Tenor) hardcore
(@Tenor) fucking myspace
(@Tenor) this shit with a crush calculator
(@Tenor) enter the full name of yourself and your crush
(@Tenor) press submit
(@Tenor) it emails results to the person
(@Tenor) gay
(@Tenor) why the FUCK did I fall for that one |
#57077 (324/610) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dyno> Lesbian porn IS boring. Do I want to watch a hamburger eat another hamburger? No. I want to eat that fucking hamburger. Both of them. |
#60290 (289/543) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_Foxy> And I am sitting in math next to the hottest chick ever cuz the teacher said thats the only thing that will keep me awake :/
<_Foxy> I was always sleeping and man...my dick is in pain after 2 hours next to her with her miniskirt!
<_Foxy> damn I'm gonna watch some more porn
<_Foxy> brb |
#60320 (288/542) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PLUN> I've just had a vision of my future
<PLUN> Founder and proprieter of the internets' biggest Starcraft hentai site
<PLUN> On the upside, I'd stand to make a ton of money...
<PLUN> ...on the flipside, i'd be the Founder and proprieter of the internets' biggest Starcraft hentai siteComment: Chugworth.com
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#68469 (172/320) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Moppy> I think I found a pointless secret passageway :(
<Apofisu> is that nerd-speak for seeing a vagina? |
#72713 (279/523) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<InsomniA> Heh... My Prof in Theorem proving class threw out some kid...
<InsomniA> He was talking about his friends telling him to have sex with some chick.
<InsomniA> And the Prof's like "If I asked you to have sex with me, would you!?"
<InsomniA> At which point the kid starts screaming "REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM!!!" |
#198888 (91/163) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<crab> yeah but come on, they're woodchuck accountants
<Nick> They can give a very good estimate on how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
<Nick> Whether a woodchuck should chuck wood is up to human resources. |
#231863 (171/315) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<&WizarthAway> Gah, my fingers were on the wrong keys, my code looks like perl now! |
#255470 (125/227) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(+ShinSR71) if i commit suicide i would probably dress up as someone from Naruto to get the show banned |
#305297 (48/76) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<roverbat> I live near an old nuclear reactor
<roverbat> there's nothing wrong with me
<iva|phone> roverbat, how do you explain your wings then?
<roverbat> they go up and down, iva|phone |
#308528 (52/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< xiphias> sycobuny: maybe you can answer this
< xiphias> sycobuny: if perl doesn't have a JIT, how come it's so fast
<@sycobuny> because it spends less time on buzzwords and more time on just fucking doing the work?Comment: irc.malkier.net #malkier
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#310214 (53/91) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kmc> hm hitler probably did one thing that I like too
<kmc> he banned tubas, I guess I am neutral on tubas
<Fiora> oh! he killed hitler
<kmc> oh yeah, there we go
<kmc> thanks Fiora
<Bike> he also killed the guy who killed hitler |
#13246 (210/389) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ùíù You're now known as
<@> wtf
<@> what nick am I |
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