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#4123 (186/344) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home |
#4814 (188/348) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once, was there about an hour before i noticed
<ishmal> lots of girls, no guys
<ishmal> thought i was just lucky |
#5853 (182/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell, I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
<Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from him"
<Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the catcher |
#6430 (177/327) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TwoEight> heh, i dont even know how to hack a system
<TwoEight> i am always amazed when i hear such stories
<TheBigZ> hell, half the time I can't get into my own damn box, much less someone elses |
#7136 (176/325) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Rasputin found a student's share open on the network of 2.35 gigs of PR0n
<Rasputin> plus various movies and other crap
<Neep> Are you going to admin his ass or download it all?
<Rasputin> both, Neep. Both. :)
<Prior_Tuck> yes...but it could be illegal.
<Rasputin> What's illegal? I'm archving for possible er...administrative purposes |
#8170 (153/281) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Damarr> Theres a topic on my TV newsgroup entitled "I can't get it up". Do I dare enter?
<Naivete> NO
<r0gue> go for it
<Damarr> Phew, he was talking about a satellite dish |
#8844 (147/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his baggage that contained a training programme for fighters wanting to wage "holy war."
<marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on the quake engine. |
#9112 (201/373) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny? |
#10942 (160/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sparky^> fucking perverts on Direcct Connect
<Sparky^> downloading all my porn |
#11237 (196/366) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lord_Igsel> i remember an 11 year old kid on irc once, he had 'found out' about masturbation, and we were all laughing at him and things like "wooww what's it like how did you do itt' and then he said 'a friend showed me. i rubbed his dick, he rubbed mine.'
<Lord_Igsel> and then we got scared. :D |
#947 (256/480) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(PhAmInE) Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body. |
#1142 (226/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> "Disabling this device will cause it to stop functioning. Is this what you want?"
<BlackDeth> hah
<BlackDeth> stupid |
#1447 (194/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<curiosity> I can't wait til' we can directly interface to the brain - that way the voices in my head can talk on IRC. |
#2338 (182/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle? |
#2500 (198/369) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dekon> Florida is holding the election hostage until we quit sending old people |
#2871 (177/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[incorrect] no, we're all using pens, paper and carrier pidgeons
[incorrect] actually, maybe that's what PPP stands for |
#3195 (205/383) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dot> i make that typo irl too
<dot> wait... it's not a "typo" then...
* dot gets confused about real life
<dot> real life... has no keyboards...
* dot tries to remember this |
#3410 (163/301) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
<ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
<ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
<ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
<grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the planet Oper!!
<grifferz> fucking scary eh
<ben> yes
<grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames. I DO NOT KNOW |
#5298 (196/364) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<chinger> My real name is Thoma
<chinger> s
<LimberDink> Well hello there, Thoma
<LimberDink> s |
#7245 (164/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mike_3486> i wonder if i could smother somebody using the CO2 from a Coke can
<Sock_Monkee> shrug
<Mike_3486> nobody knows...if i asked how to make a bong from a wiffle ball, some duct tape, and a rubber band i'd get 10 different answers |
#8264 (200/373) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* fo0bar has silverware now
<jk> is that a new kind of heatsink?
<jk> :D
<fo0bar> no, it's a metal-based bio-nutritional transport system
<jk> the thing... you use to... dig... food.
<jwz> it's more of a food shim.
<fo0bar> appearantly the technology has been around for awhile, but I haven't been able to afford the genuine metal equipment... I've had to use the plastic replicas
<fo0bar> though proper transport systems are appearantly a requirement when an xx chromosome pair is introduced into xy's atmosphere |
#8443 (160/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked. |
#8955 (174/322) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<RyMon> You see the new heatsinks on thinkgeek?
<Crash> I have one right here... it's so cold against my skin, I could just put them all over myself and stay cool anywhere!
<RyMon> There's no sink that disipates stupid, man. |
#10469 (172/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hep> husbands girlfriend EXTREMELY annoying
<Ach|medicated> damn husbands, and their whiny girlfriends!
<Ach|medicated> (number 37 of The Big List of Things You Never Expected to
Say) |
#11348 (214/399) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Ryu> I remember when I was watching a porn on a tape I received from my friend, and I start wacking off to the lesbians on the TV... Then all of a sudden right when I was about to cum, the tape stopped and it was TeleTubbies on the TV instead. I cummed, and I cried.... i'm not joking. |
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