|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..175176177178179180181..599Next> |
#13821 (206/383) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jonathan> Hey you know what's hard? Trying to move your toes individually!
<Jonathan> I've been practicing though. My left foot's toes are almost completely independent.
<Sumez> gee, Jon, what awaste of time
<Sumez> At least spend your time pulling your penis so it gets longer or something else that's useful
<Jonathan> I have people who do that for me. |
#14300 (208/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage." |
#16128 (185/343) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the keyword 'southpark'!!! |
#16798 (180/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+subzero> =)
<@nebula> ;)
<@wickeD> =)
<Guest62972> :D
<@sony> SHUT THE FUCK UP HAPPY BASTARDS ARR |
#18660 (198/367) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Callero> I managed to pour a glass of champagne and orange juice in my girlfriends alarm clock
<Raider> That's the most random thing I've heard all day |
#20009 (190/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrWatson> MISSING: 1 motivation. Last seen the night before the last exam. Small and unimpressive. Likes to wander. Answers to the name of 'Keith'. Please email DrWatson. |
#20136 (196/367) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Beige> It's one o'clock.
<Beige> Do you know where your children are?
<Apollyon> In my testes. |
#20461 (186/344) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<KillaDawg> I don't want to move to Singapore with you. too humid
<PinkRydergurl> Well, you don't have to wear clothes..you can walk around naked like people in Africa..
<KillaDawg> Uhhhh, people in Africa have large penes, so they can comfortably walk around naked. I'm white; I'm not quite that well-endowed
<PinkRydergurl> Uhhhh, once again, we're talking about SINGAPORE, which is in ASIA....you're more "gifted" than you think you are... |
#22450 (207/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dark`Machine> man i hate when you're drinking milk
<Dark`Machine> and then you hafta spit
<Dark`Machine> and it looks like cum
<Dark`Machine> and it';s like "ew whose dick did i suck"
<Dark`Machine> then you remember you're drinking milk... :/
<RexExitium> have you ever sucked dick?
<RexExitium> im sorry if none of us can relate.
<Glorious> dude, that's beyond fucked up
<Dark`Machine> man's gotta pay the rent Rex :P
<Nicolai> O_o
<Glorious> ew
<Jennifer> yeah i hate that too Dark`Machine!
<Jennifer> erm
<Jennifer> never mind
<Dark`Machine> <mentalnote> never make comments regarding milk ever again, ever </mentalnote>
<Dark`Machine> right then, back to lurking
<Lassie> I hate it when you're sucking cock and it's like ewww and it looks like milk :( |
#23705 (159/293) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<elitotaco> why did i get kicked
<tarvuz> powertrips
* tarvuz was kicked by LordCrank (no powertrips.) |
#28817 (221/411) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
* +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
* +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
* +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
* +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
* +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
* +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers
* +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
* +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
* +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
* +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
* +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes!
* +politik is out of ideas
* +politik :: ~politik();
* +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
<+ramoth4> I win!
* +ramoth4 beat C++.
<+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.Comment: -- #flipcode @ irc.enterthegame.com
|
#28956 (197/365) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Low`DOHC> I'm not god...
<Low`DOHC> I'm more along the lines of buddha
<CaptChaos> yeah, fat and overly passive |
#29041 (216/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hitman> I met some dude at the last meet
<hitman> and I'm like
<hitman> "do you ever go on irc?"
<hitman> and he's like
<hitman> "I did once, but this dude hitman kept talking smack" |
#29422 (233/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<btm4k> ill brb - picking up kids from the bus stop
<Scared_Of_SD_Gundam> PEDOPHILE |
#30570 (262/490) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DJ-Pyro> The average person contains 5 to 25 pounds of waste build up in their colon. This leads to being overweight, colon cancer, deadly toxins and parasite build up.
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> "Approximately 90% of all disease and discomfort is related to an unclean colon."
<Lippizanr> imagine that!
<Lippizanr> sign me up!
<DJ-Pyro> aparently "Drooling While Sleeping" is caused by an unclean colon
<DJ-Pyro> http://www.shadysports.com/colon/
<DJ-Pyro> I'd totally buy from a company hosted at shadysports.com
<Lippizanr> dry lips during the day?
<Lippizanr> and damp lips at night?
<DJ-Pyro> heh
<Lippizanr> it has EXTREME POWER PLUS.
<DJ-Pyro> oh shi
<Lippizanr> exactly.
<triple6> 5 to 25 POUNDS?! of waste build up?
<triple6> dude, that's a small child
<triple6> and rather unlikely
<DJ-Pyro> well that sure would explain the cries of help coming from my ass |
#235 (264/495) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor |
#878 (254/474) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dipstick`> women exist?
<Dipstick`> well.. i've seen drawings
<Dipstick`> and my mother CLAIMS to be a women
<Dipstick`> i don't believe it though.... she doesn't look anything like the drawings |
#881 (248/462) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<|scar> Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ? |
#958 (240/451) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(heck01) i sometimes dont know if i'm straight or not, then a cute girl sits down next to me and i get a huge erection and i remember |
#1337 (211/393) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go looking for stuff. |
#1819 (191/354) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sharkey> The rain in spain falls mainly on the spaniards. |
#2771 (165/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Elfin> Santa Claus broke in through my window last night.
<Kashan> did he leave you a new window |
#3697 (184/341) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Villager> i was really pissed off this morning
<Villager> it was about 9am, i had a free period and i had just bought my breakfast; an egg, bacon & sausage bap, hash browns and a coffee,
<Villager> when the damned fire alarm goes before i've taken a bite
<Joshua> ...
<Joshua> you left the building just because an alarm went off?
<Joshua> with FOOD waiting for you?
<Villager> i put the hash browns in my pocket and carried the bap, but they all got cold
<Villager> i was going to stay but the security guards came round
<Joshua> oh
<Joshua> we don't have security guards just for fire alarms
<Joshua> "ya stay, ya burn" is the official policy i beleive |
#3751 (204/378) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED. |
#3902 (203/377) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop around and show random woman?? |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..175176177178179180181..599Next> |
|