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#9978 (307/450) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
adam_afe > I just got a nice email from the most beautiful woman in the world :~)
adam_afe >Laura!! :-)
Urthworm_afe > what does she say?
adam_afe > err..
adam_afe > "Fuck off and stop emailing me you stupid worthless gimp."
#6228 (307/498) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TotAffen> On a scale from 1 to 10, I'm so drunk.
#1701 (307/457) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Camo> tress, how do I make a program that makes the cd spin really fast and  does't stop and if you open the cdrom drive, the cd flies out and cuts your  throat?
#295912 (306/376) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired.  One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines.  Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it.  Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone.  Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games.  There's something in there called "Purring Kitten".  It makes the phone vibrate continuously.  Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now...
#53240 (306/456) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DaFool> i just bought a chip for my car from ebay...i fucking bought like 5 things off the guy and he was supposed to send the chip but jus sent a cd
<LinuxFox> how much did it cost?
<DaFool> it was only 20 bucks with shipping but still wtf he made like 500 bucks off me already
<LinuxFox> people dont understand EBAY ...you send money for  a item..and if they dont send it all ebay can do is close down their store or their account and you can leave a negative remark lol NO CONSEQUENSES!
<DaFool> well the only thing i dont get is that on the cd all it is is a video of a guy laughing holding a 20 up close :/
<DaFool> who the fuck would buy that?
<Lemmiwinks> you seriously dont see where this is going?
#19414 (307/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[gossip] <Vellius>  ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english
#125172 (305/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<davy> remember when braveheart came out and everyone said you can't have mel gibson playing a scottish guy cuz it wont be realistic?
<davy> well look at him now
<davy> an alcoholic racist
#57648 (305/421) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Pan Man 120: you know what sucks?
Pan Man 120: i thought yesterday was april fool's
Pan Man 120: so i went around april fooling people
Pan Man 120: and they were like "its not april fools dumbass"
Pan Man 120: but i thought they were trying to april fools me
Pan Man 120: so i didnt look at a calendar
Pan Man 120: this would explain a lot
Pan Man 120: i was like "get a fucking new line guys its getting old"
Comment: April 3rd
#40381 (305/479) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<squeakymewmew> We lost power last night.  A transformer exploded in the parking lot.
<PartiallyClips> Autobot or Decepticon?
Comment: AIM convo
#35161 (305/513) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<withnail> i could tell the relationship was coming to an end because i started backing up all my mp3s onto cd'sComment: #geekissues
#33394 (305/507) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BlasterDRP> when i was three, my dad called my mom a slut once in a restaurant, because they were both joking with each other, and he said it kinda silently... then i shouted at the top of my lungs MOMMY'S NOT A SLUT SHE'S A WHOREComment: irc.starfusion.org
#30625 (305/511) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ethun: this is crazy
ethun: i never got a virus with Windows ME
Zaphod-B.: of course not
Zaphod-B.: viruses dont infect other viruses :P
#8100 (305/476) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<meta> blegh
<meta> the internet is bad
<meta> bad bad bad
<meta> I tried to talk to a woman
<meta> but she sent me nude pics instead
<meta> I didn't want them
<meta> but I took them out of courtesy
#5193 (305/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials.
<reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type "stupid"
<mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P
<reuben> it looks stupid
#761 (305/460) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway
#304938 (304/408) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Bob_work> This page blocked. Please enter the name of a seedless fruit to continue.
< OWA> Bob
< Bob_work> HEY!
#296747 (303/535) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#239784 (304/414) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Jimmy: People like to write on the wall above the urinals ...
Jimmy: So whenever the school has their big monthly tour, they paint over it.
Jimmy: ... the morning after the tour: "FIRST!"
#145443 (304/810) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Delirium> $this->hasFlavr() ? $nom->nom('nom') : $want->doNot()
#61592 (304/548) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Khaos> Ok, so I was on a long, boring flight on sunday, ok?
<Khaos> the old lady sitting next to me was joking with the flight attendant, so when the attendant came to get our snack orders, the lady says, "Well, I'd have a nice sirloin."
<Khaos> The flight attendant played along, asking how she wanted that cooked.
<Khaos> As they were talking, I swear that the first thought that popped into my head was "Steak on a plane!"
<Khaos> I actually said this out loud. So now, I have a bruise on my arm from where the guy in the window seat hit me.
#41054 (304/420) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[ engineer56] im learn python
[@selcouth] i'd suggest english
#40807 (304/430) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
#36918 (304/410) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GLC> I saw this banner... with a chick saying "do you want to meet me?"
<GLC> and there was a "yes" button and a "no" button
<GLC> I clicked "no"
<GLC> and it took me to an IQ test website
<GLC> wtf
#34999 (304/504) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zuwadza> Ha
<Zuwadza> Apparently a young girl in Jackie Chan's fan club killed herself when she found out he was married
<Zutroy> not a big fan if she didn't know that
<Zutroy> poseur
Comment: Err, no comment.
#32294 (304/484) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Travisimo> I always thought Pooh and Piglet were always happy because they weren't wearing pants.
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