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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..63646566676869..596Next> |
#307979 (311/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ymbirtt> !remind 10m pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 12m seriously pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 20m small black disk
<Ymbirtt> !remind 1h extinguish fire in kitchen |
#76047 (311/619) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@flamingspinach> what in the actual fuck
<@flamingspinach> is going on behind me
<@flamingspinach> on my roommate's bed
<@flamingspinach> he seems to be whispering randomly and moving around
<@flamingspinach> and one of his feet is significantly smaller than the other
<@flamingspinach> lol looks like I haven't been paying much attention to the world outside IRCComment: #machogang on popn.cjb.net:4400
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#42655 (311/447) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Geoff> I caught my son downloading a file called 'hot redhead takes it up the ass and loves it'
<Geoff> I was appalled
<Geoff> She was blonde and was giving hand jobs :( |
#33407 (311/479) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Monique> i reached a whole new level of internet geekdom.
<Monique> i was at quiznos eating my soup and i saw a car outside and its license plate said 911 AFK
<Monique> and i burst out laughing |
#30559 (311/513) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pixistix> I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
<Pixistix> If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
<Pixistix> Problem solved. |
#28320 (311/435) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline |
#25389 (311/439) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mal> there were so many people using POP3 at DefCon... it was obscene
<Mal> who the hell sends out a text password over a network surrounded by FIVE THOUSAND hackers!? |
#11368 (311/483) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!?
<@miz> nothing
<@miz> :o |
#1861 (311/512) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<synthmesc> is it narcassitic to jack off to a picture of yourself?
<Digested> synthmesc: it seems to fit the definition
<synthmesc> :/
<Digested> synthmesc: is it a picture of yourself fucking someone else?
<synthmesc> it's a picture of me jacking of to a picture of myself
<Digested> INFINITE LOOP |
#297089 (310/628) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<asp> Atheim: Your name is one letter away from a very dangerous idea.
<Atheim> asp: Not sure what you're talking about, it's quite a few letters away from Christianity... |
#270224 (310/502) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
The Fizz Meister: Ungh, ME.
The Fizz Meister: I had to use that for several years.
The Fizz Meister: :(
The Fizz Meister: Bonus was that if I was about to get caught using porn, I'd just restart it.
The Fizz Meister: Say it crashed.
The Fizz Meister: Worked every time.Comment: BYOND
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#79824 (310/478) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Zipper: I just found out today that my western civ. teacher lives in a 4 bedroom, 5.5 bath house with a 3 car garage. He owns 4 cars, one is a brand new Sequoya and it's just his wife and him
Zipper: After he told us that, the kid next to me says "You're a teacher... What does your wife do!?!?" |
#34313 (310/504) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* LittleWolfLS dresses in a Japanese sailor schoolgirl uniform
* Lenoh becomes all evil and tentaclerapes LittleWolfLS
<LittleWolfLS> DO NOT TENTACLE RAPE YOUR OPS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
<Lenoh> DO NOT PUT A SAILOR UNIFORM ON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO GET TENTACLE RAPED
<LittleWolfLS> damn, Lenoh's got me beat hereComment: w00t
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#8285 (309/446) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Communism is like Spandex. Good idea, but then real people started using it. Things got real ugly from there. |
#6511 (310/416) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<monami> this utility has a macro recording function but no loop command
<monami> so i record a macro, and then put a stapler on the keyboard to hold the button down
<monami> and go have coffee
<monami> i note that the stapler, on the whole, is a more efficient and productive employee than i am |
#5584 (309/583) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive' |
#63 (310/631) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Moot> masturbatin time
<Moot> I'm livin dangerously
<Moot> I'm not gonan check to see if my mom is asleep yet |
#95496 (309/735) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lash> What's worse: Cancer or AIDS?
<Lash> Cancer. Because with AIDS, atleast you got laid. |
#63337 (309/451) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
VarnTheGreat: I have some orange drink thing here and grape juice.
VarnTheGreat: Do I mix them together?
xTedHeadx: Yes.
xTedHeadx: Make groringe juice.
xTedHeadx: ...No, that sounds too much like groin juice.
VarnTheGreat: Haha.
xTedHeadx: Make orrape juice.
xTedHeadx: ...Yeah I don't think they'll mix well, judging by the names.
VarnTheGreat: Hahahaha. |
#47952 (309/531) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Galisus): the clitoris is that thing in the back of the throat, right? |
#32126 (309/547) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gothic_CatGirl> I are yoshi!
<Peels> give you coins
<Davey|away> ahh
<Gothic_CatGirl> Ride me!
<Peels> heh
<Gothic_CatGirl> Ew wait
<Peels> HAHAHAA
<Peels> XD
* NeoNixon wants to ride GCG o_o |
#30406 (309/441) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :( |
#24945 (309/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Milky> Tony Blair has just announced that he is sending the people that chose Liverpool to be the European City of Culture, out to Iraq.
<Milky> The theory is that if they can find Culture in Liverpool then Weapons of Mass Destruction should be a piece of p1ss. |
#17868 (308/471) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RadAghazt> I bought rice vinegar to make sushi. Now to figure out how.
<RadAghazt> Ok.
<RadAghazt> There are instructions on the bottle, but...
<RadAghazt> they're in Japanese.
<RadAghazt> At least I think they're instructions.
<RadAghazt> This might say "death to all gaijin with this poisoned export rice vinegar" for all I know. |
#16298 (309/442) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health |
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