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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..39404142434445..596Next> |
#50848 (389/505) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< jiteo> I remember calling my ISP asking about getting a static IP
< jiteo> poor guy on the other end was so happy to have someone with brains to
talk to
< jiteo> and actually get asked a question that makes sense
< jiteo> on that day I brought warm fuzzies in his life
< jiteo> I will forever be proud
< KrakensDen> :)
< KrakensDen> did you get one?
< jiteo> no |
#34120 (389/553) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kobrakiller> hahahahahaha
<kobrakiller> the first hit for furry porn on google images is hardcore furry gay
<kobrakiller> furrys are such fucking faggots
<beans> eh
<beans> why are you looking for furry porn?
<kobrakiller> it was accidental
<beans> oh, I see. you mistyped whatever you were looking for and accidentally entered 'furry porn'
* kobrakiller has quit IRC (Quit) |
#301761 (388/518) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Reunech> So I take this physics test, my midterm if I'm correct, and I did alright. The last question, however, was a bitch. I spent more than half the test on it and by the end I had this ridiculously convoluted equation and was looking at a big fat zero out of five for that question. Which would suck.
<Reunech> At this point I figure: "Fuck it, I'm gonna get it wrong anyway."
<Reunech> So I underline it, write "this is very wrong" and then draw an arrow, just to be safe.
<Reunech> I get the midterm back with the comment "Its good to know when you're wrong," and only two points off.
<Reunech> I did better than my friend who studied for three days.
<Reunech> By three points.Comment: He hit me.
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#103237 (389/539) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rachel> Can't move to Texas, I'm not legally female there. |
#56644 (388/496) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers =P
hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something
hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot
hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in
hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in
hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose
hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?"
hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P |
#10958 (388/539) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard. |
#9272 (388/543) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Murder-Is-Funny> I know this girl who is supposedly kinda anti-social - so she says - and she's mentioned she doesnt go many places or have many friends.. - but when I call her, she's never home - whats that mean?
<Byte^> she has caller-id |
#2410 (388/531) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(cooey) my cat eats meat. my cat eats timbits. my cat eats celery. my cat eats my weed. my cat eats bits of paper and hair that look like food. my cat =wont= eat a piece of a burger out of a big mac.
(cooey) i should learn from my cat. |
#266051 (387/633) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
<OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
<@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
<@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
<@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
<@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked |
#181508 (387/639) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<indrora> the county commision for the blind has a shitty way of making users not mess with settings
<indrora> they set the password for the admin account to "youcantseeme" |
#103975 (386/626) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vossk> ._.
<Macrona> What?
<Vossk> I was just sitting here fapping, and I looked to my right and the window was open.
<Macrona> Someone couldve seen you, lol.
<Vossk> Theres like a 10 year old GIRL FUCKING STANDING THERE WATCHING.
<Macrona> pwned |
#33707 (387/543) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mkat> :o
<mkat> OMFG
<mkat> WILL THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS PLEASE EITHER STOP HAVING SEX OR INVITE PLZ |
#6519 (387/526) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<monami> my boss is okay except for the following scenario that we have to play out four or five times a year :
<monami> Act I
<monami> BOSS: Do A.
<monami> ME: If we do A, B will occur.
<monami> BOSS: I don't care, do it anyways.
<monami> Act II
<monami> BOSS: OH MY GOD, B HAS HAPPENED.
<monami> ME: sigh |
#306189 (386/492) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Mehcore> I want a band called 1023MB
<%Mehcore> We'd never get a gig though |
#297849 (386/562) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mistah_j> If you watch porn in reverse it's about a guy who vacuums jizz of a woman's face and then takes his Pizza back to work |
#294673 (386/656) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words |
#127326 (386/506) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Random> I've wanked 50 times this year.
<Random> My ring finger is sore...
<Kogita> it's the third of January. You need help. |
#71710 (386/626) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lupin> I ? unicode. |
#64358 (386/540) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<absinth> omg ! my father finished call of duty!
<misiek> so what?
<absinth> nothing but during the last-but-one mission he asked me whether one can change Colt to another gun..Comment: note: Translated from Polish
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#50745 (386/528) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Philwelch> In my high school, I would print out the "this page is blocked" page that comes up when you run afoul of the content filter on the library computers, and post it next to the anti-censorship posters in the library.
<Philwelch> Long story made short, the library ultimately took down the anti-censorship posters. |
#49192 (386/558) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MichiganFan> how old is the kitten?
<Lance> don't know how old
<Lance> real young
<Lance> still shakey on it's feet
<MichiganFan> where did you get it?
<Lance> under the house
<MichiganFan> what was it doing there?
<MarkTheMeS> Foundation work |
#29376 (386/550) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Cavalorn] ok
[Cavalorn] I must say this
[Cavalorn] in england, 'uncut' means 'not censored'
[Cavalorn] so, 'uncut porn' is 'porn with all the good bits left in'.
[CapnBee] ;llkfj
[CapnBee] ;lkjasdflkjasf,sdf
[Cavalorn] you're way ahead of me.
[Cavalorn] however, in the US, 'uncut' seems to mean 'uncircumcised'
[Cavalorn] so
[b0o] gagsagdsagasgsadsa
[Cavalorn] I am now deleting an awful lot of pictures of cocks from my hard drive
[b0o] hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha |
#27372 (386/520) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(parazite) Legolas did you take your name from lord of the rings?
(@ Legolas) no, I got it from this magazine
(@ Legolas) it was advertising salogel, its a type of lubricant
(@ Legolas) I just did the name backwards and I liked it....... |
#306819 (384/496) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MisfortuneCooki> so i had this group meeting
<MisfortuneCooki> where several groups had to make a model of some new building that serves a purpose on campus
<MisfortuneCooki> my group built a stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> a hexagonal stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> and we named it the sexagon
<MisfortuneCooki> and we WON |
#303682 (385/615) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rorschach> crispy is studying criminal justice. Just like all the strippers
<Crispy`> Rorschach: Great talking point when I need to get laid.
<Crispy`> We can role-play too
<Rorschach> haha
<Crispy`> We'll both be Detectives and we can try to solve the Case of the Missing Virginity.
<@AnthraX101> Just be careful you don't turn it into The Case of the Missing Period
<Crispy`> D:
<Crispy`> That'll turn into Case of the Missing Father. |
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