|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..31323334353637..596Next> |
#236 (434/694) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia |
#302272 (433/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER! |
#301368 (433/577) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< samble> gah
< samble> documenting code is hard
< samble> i keep ending sentences with semicolons
< jbroome> #i don't really have that problem |
#297012 (433/565) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ambulance: on my dryer machine the ignition knob is an oven knob for some reason
ambulance: I turn it to 'broil' to start my dryer |
#294485 (433/551) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%First_Mate_Drak> I once had a girl get so sloshed that she hit on me.
<%First_Mate_Drak> And by 'hit on me'.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I mean 'picked up a chair and tried to hit me because she thought I was a pinata.'
<%First_Mate_Drak> That was a weird halloween.
<%First_Mate_Drak> In her defense.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I was dressed as a pinata. >.> |
#176177 (433/659) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< pixie> Heh, looking at what things contain iron, its quite weird that I lack iron
< pixie> I eat plenty of things that contain it
< ari> So you eat plenty of iron but are anaemic? Why, that's ironic.Comment: ##pink
|
#27373 (433/597) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CommanderStab> ICH BIN NICHT EIN KARTOFELE
<duckroll> you are aware you just said 'i am not a potato' right?
<CommanderStab> NEIN
<duckroll> k |
#295469 (432/566) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stueh> This has been the last hour for me:
<Stueh> "Windows Update needs to install an update for Windows Update. Please click the Download and Install button to download and install the update for Windows Update."
Stueh laughs
<Stueh> "Windows Update cannot connect to the internet."
Stueh cries
<Stueh> The ethernet driver is now mysteriously not installed anymore.
Stueh screams
<Stueh> "Windows cannot locate a driver for your ethernet card. Would you like Windows to connect to Windows Update and find a driver for you?" |
#67276 (432/582) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE! I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake. :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty? |
#55421 (432/526) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kayla> what you doin?
<livefyre> reading wikipedia for fun
<kayla> why you reading that?
<livefyre> Cause it makes me feel like less of a nerd with no life when I see a nine page article about lightsabers. |
#30144 (432/582) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Milao> Hmm... I forgot to pick up my son from school today, and it's already 9:30... I'm trying to decide whether to pick him up now, or just bring food in the morning on the way to work.
<Jaayy> How long have you been wondering this?
<Milao> About twenty minutes.
<Jaayy> Dear god... some people should not be allowed to be parents. |
#15353 (432/593) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
<[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
<aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
<Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
<Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a shift:::
<Lilly-> omg
<Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
<Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
<Hvatti> where can i find it
<Tiger> hehe :D
<aegis> at the left of your keyboard
<Hvatti> ok thanx::
<Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
<Lilly-> aamm
<aegis> apparently it didn't
<Lilly-> lol
<Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
<aegis> yes
<aegis> you have to release the shift.
<Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
<Hvatti> like this?
* Lilly- faints
<aegis> yep, just like that |
#79667 (431/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future |
#69176 (431/571) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CinamonGirl> Fuck my ass hurts
<CinamonGirl> Err, there should be a comma in there. O.o
*** arsebandit perks up
*** arsebandit is now known as hurts |
#60255 (431/575) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< larsivi> heh, I talked to this sysadmin once who wondered where all the printers in his network came from ... it turned out his search script started at 10.226.0.69, and ended at .68, making him search the whole internet for unsecured printers ...
< larsivi> the search had taken 21 days ...Comment: #d @ freenode
|
#57180 (431/601) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<taxman> Okay, I seriously don't know how this could happen.
<taxman> I woke up this morning and went into the bathroom to piss
<taxman> One of my nostrils is really itchy and so I grab a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose
<taxman> When I look at it, there's a fucking EARWIG amidst a sea of snot
<Rintin> rofl
<taxman> So I shout in surprise, "Holy fuck! How in the hell did that get up there?!"
<taxman> I drop it in the toilet, flush it and open the bathroom door, and my mom and wife are standing there, staring at me with their mouths half open.
<Rintin> holy shit lmao
<taxman> They haven't stopped making fun of me about it. So I'm here. :/ |
#42941 (431/585) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rompiku> I think I am going to wait until the hacker is in my computer, then I will disconnect from the internet and trap him inside |
#1484 (430/555) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(SiNs-) $1,599.99
(SiNs-) $1,599.70
(SiNs-) Save $0.29
(SiNs-) wow
(SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut |
#993 (431/739) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong |
#303208 (429/555) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GauHelldragon> G-Flex
<GauHelldragon> how many cubic milliliters can you fit in a bathtub
<G-Flex> what is a cubic milliliter
<G-Flex> you're going to have to ask me in units that aren't hyperdimensional |
#300893 (429/571) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Orion: The internet is mostly cat pictures these days. I remember the good old days when the internet was conspiracy theorists, porn, and DOOM WAD files. |
#256043 (429/591) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GargajCNS> i'm going to fucking kill myself right now so i can submerge to hell and work there for years to get a promotion, so by the time other people die, i'll be in a position to torture their fucking souls for getting on my fucking nerves at work |
#70442 (428/568) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chaos_Incarnate> i want to get a government grant
<Chaos_Incarnate> to do a scientific experiment
<DJPugsly> on what
<Chaos_Incarnate> to see exactly what speed an esclator has to be at to make a slinky achieve perpetual motion
<Chaos_Incarnate> i need a box of slinkies
<Chaos_Incarnate> and an escalator |
#38932 (428/548) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ridder[A]> hey did i tell you about the commentary i heard during the olympic rowing?
<ridder[A]> the germans won and the commentator goes
<ridder[A]> "they won because they had a superior race plan"
<ridder[A]> think about it |
#25391 (429/587) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip? |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..31323334353637..596Next> |
|