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#173028 (439/615) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< Shadow_mil> we don't need biodegradable condoms. Normal condoms already do enough to protect the environment.

#101437 (439/787) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat, I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.

#52504 (439/601) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<^Spike^> I had my first character censored on City of Villains
<@Stumpy> whyfor?
<^Spike^> They did not appreciate 'Captain Coathanger the Abortionist'
<^Spike^> (He had pirate hooks for hands!)Comment: He's going to hell one day...

#31917 (439/575) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DrBacchus> fajita: RFC 2795
<fajita> DrBacchus: excuse me?
<DrBacchus> fajita: You're supposed to give me a link.
<fajita> DrBacchus: i'm not following you...
<DrBacchus> dumb bot
<fajita> Stupid human

#29445 (439/577) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BlazeHedgehog> For a few seconds when AOL first loads it displays the wrong image with the wrong headline on the front page
<BlazeHedgehog> So it's got this guy kneeling at the WTC Memorial, crying, headline reads "HILLARY DUFF'S NEW CD RELEASED"

#103238 (438/574) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Fathom> Zoe: Would you prefer a woman with a healthy amount of body, or some calista flockhartish hussy who eats a few lettuce leaves for lunch every day?
<Zoe> I prefer men, quite frankly

#76601 (438/676) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< lerxst> on that note
< lerxst> it is official
< lerxst> amanda and i are expecting
< tyger> oh?!
< lerxst> that's what /i/ said
< tyger> holy shit!.....is congrats appropriate in this case?
< lerxst> hell yeah!
< lerxst> my penis works!
< tyger> alright then!
< lerxst> now. down to business.
< lerxst> i need leads on hamster balls that come in progressively escalating sizes.

#59779 (437/645) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[@turk]: i was in math class today and we were doing equations that allow us to decide the best price for a certain product
[@turk]: with a given amount of production cost, employee salaries, etc
[@turk]: so, the teacher asks, how can we minimize the production costs
[@turk]: someone yells out:
[@turk]: hire mexicans

#59146 (437/591) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<madman> Perhaps I'm a bit racist.
<madman> This Mexican guy called saying he was interested in the car I was selling, so I give him the directions to my house.
<madman> I see him pull up in his truck, and so I go outside to greet him, guess what I say?
<madman> "Hey Pedro!"
<madman> I'm about to apologize when he says, "How'd you know my name? I didn't even tell you!"
<madman> Talk about lucky.

#33543 (438/580) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.

#297802 (437/615) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<John> i would really appreciate it if you would stop IMing my girlfriend.
<DevXen> i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

#294927 (437/647) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Jones: I had no idea that in the latest patch they added a confirmation box for /gquit
Maero: ahahah
Leggoes has left the guild
kyush has left the guild

#152868 (437/759) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< nitrogen> har! i broke 100 on facebook!
< nitrogen> i win!
< curgoth> here's what you win;
< curgoth> 49 ongoing scrabulous games
< curgoth> 20 of which will send you daily pokes for not playing fast enough
< curgoth> 73 daily funwall posts of forwarded videos and "pass this on or your dog will die" posts
< curgoth> 357 invites to apps that require you to invite everyone you know to find out who your secret crush is
< curgoth> (which then notifies everyone you invite that you have a secret crush on them)
< curgoth> and 25 people you knew and didn't like in high school who think you should be fast friends now
< curgoth> and get upset when you don't share thier politics

#48605 (437/573) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."

#69556 (436/570) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Cin> Why do grandparents have no sense of time?
<Teshi> It goes so slowly for them.
<TheFoundation> it's a well known fact that as you grow older, your velocity approaches the speed of light
<TheFoundation> that's why old people always appear to move slowly, and shrink in size

#31951 (436/576) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Haplo gets a knofe
<@Haplo> knife
<@Haplo> knofe...
<@Haplo> where the hell did that come from
< HighlordThunder> thats an i/o-error

#306931 (434/516) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker.

#300150 (434/514) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kiwi_> How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say congratulations! But none of them rub your cock and say well done?
<Artifice> By extension, it would be your GUY friends rubbing your johnson

#80041 (434/678) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[xexyz] Help me dave. I have a 17 year old girl chasing me.
[davek] Congrats, xex
[xexyz] :p Need a little more help than that
[xexyz] Wait.. 17 is legal here in Texas..
<xexyz goes AFK>

#33530 (435/613) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face

#24382 (435/575) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(

#15983 (435/591) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<gig103> I drove by the fire department the other day, and they had a big public awareness sign that read, "Are your house numbers visible?" I thought, "Who the hell cares? How about you just stop at the house that's on fire?!"

#13876 (435/593) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Beramode> nall?
<+Nall> Huh?
<@Beramode> are you outside my apartment?
<@Beramode> it sounds like someone's raping a duck out there, but i don't wanna look, so i had to ask.
<+Nall> ...Are you room 7F?
<@Beramode> maybe..
<@Beramode> are you raping a duck?
<+Nall> maybe..

#30476 (434/656) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Thief> never pack when ur high..you get there u open your bag and nothing matches...all u have to wear is a hawaiian shirt, an oven mit + a lava lamp...the rest is filled with cookie dough + hot wheels trucksComment: Random quote, GamesNet channel.

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