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#34704 (181/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dark-> i need more monitors
<SlackDug> Dark-: www.amazon.com
<Dark-> correction then: I need more moneyComment: #geekissues
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#40440 (181/349) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<laurent> yeah everything's great except the damn hard disk
<Popdog> need a hd?
<Popdog> i've got a spare 20 i can bring up with me
<laurent> i was trying to seduce Amanda by showing her how fast i could install OpenBSD and i did the bsdlabel editing and hit ok and a pile of newfs errors spam the screen
<Popdog> LOL
<laurent> so needless to say i didn't get lucky that night |
#45553 (181/341) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DosBubba> Growth in confusing graphs on the Internet, 1989-2005:
<DosBubba> =====75
<DosBubba> ========80
<DosBubba> ===========80
<DosBubba> ========75Comment: #main @ irc.dosbubba.com
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#48072 (181/331) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<krysta_trose> O_o Wait...there were actually 12 year olds calling the N64 old school? I need to whap them with a 99 cent copy of Mario |
#52735 (181/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kufat> I wonder how ebay gets results for every keyword on google
<Kufat> ebay: We'd like to buy some adwords.
<Kufat> Google: Can you be more specific?
<Kufat> ebay: * |
#54846 (181/365) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<redrum> the last urmom joke I told blew up in my face
<redrum> turned out the guys mom was dead
<redrum> he told me to get my dick out of the urn |
#55291 (181/323) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Noia> now I have to get dressed to go to the kitchen to get a new drink >.<
<myarray> why can't you be nakid in your own house?!
<Noia> I live in a flat with a few other people
<myarray> ah
<Noia> they might be a little disturbed if I start walking around in my underwear :P
<myarray> you never know, they might like it :)
<Noia> thats what I'm afraid of :P |
#62196 (181/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Wanker123: I believe im guilty of manslaughter...
Wanker123: I figure that ive killed a baby...
Getout432: What the hell did you do man?
Wanker123: Well ive calculated the average load i shoot off to have a mass of approx 1 gram
Wanker123: If you assume twice a day, 7 days a week, thats 14 grams per week
Wanker123: 52 weeks in a year, thats 782 grams per year, rounded up to 800 because of those extra large loads
Wanker123: Now ive been wanking for at least 3 years, which means ive expelled at least 2.4 KILOGRAMS of little children... now since they've all died... and a newborn baby probably weights about 2.4 kg...
Wanker123: Therefore, i submit, that im guilty of manslaughter, for killing enough mini-children to add up to a real child...
Getout432: You really need to get laid you fucking redneck |
#70492 (181/435) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vh> So I wonder if when you're really good at something and you die and go to heaven, if there is some dude who was doing it 2000 years ago, who's been doing it heaven the whole time, who's like.. 2000 years better at it then you
<vh> and like.. you try to catch up, but it's like.. he's always 2000 years better
<vh> so you get really depressed and try to kill yourself, but you're already dead
<vh> reincarnation solves a lot of these problemsComment: #perl
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#73523 (181/425) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kai> the impetus to get out of bed and go for a piss is immense right now.
<Kai> oooh, a coke bottle.... |
#107607 (181/451) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord |
#294401 (180/490) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< sharkhat> and yeah, now im the weird guy at work because of the pooping asian drawing |
#304203 (181/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@JC>Haha this is awesome.
<@JC>Im in sydney airport sitting next to all these really clueless people - i realised (yes i fucking realised how bored i was at
the same time) that new firmware had come out for my modem - so i telnetted in and upgraded it - and while i was at it i noticed my voip dialplan was all wrong too so i fixed that up - basically i was winning command prompt big time.
<@JC>This being an aiport and a "console" looking dodgy as fuck got some girl running to the security guard thinking i am like sending airport infrastructure results back to the KGB or some shit. Basically i was like zero cool to this chick - which is pretty cool.
<@JC>He comes over to me and grabs my shoulder and asks what i was doing i said i was "hacking the gibson"
<@JC>AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CONFISCATED MY GODDAMN LAPTOP - HE HAD TO HAVE AN IT "EXPERT" LOOK AT MY LAPTOP WHICH DELAYED MY FLIGHT UNDER A "SECURITY RISK" i swear to god - they are just getting bored - like all this money
going toward airport security and they bag a dude for telnetting his modem - when that lady next to me was probably smuggling crack inbetween her butt cheeks.
<@JC>So moral of this story - telnetting can sometimes get you nearly arrested. |
#326 (181/460) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[CaptHowdy] [~] $ touch /dev/genitalia
[CaptHowdy] touch: /dev/genitalia: Permission denied |
#1133 (181/376) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<homerj> a robot on Futurama
<homerj> "You know why they are using WIndows 3000 as a prison guard?"
<homerj> because it always locks up |
#1343 (181/351) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party). |
#6545 (181/331) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal! |
#7235 (181/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<OneEyedJack> Someone tell me why everyone lists one of their hobbies as either "hanging out" or "partying"?
<Qtechie> I like to hang out while I party... but chicks are always grossed out by it, and guys tend to beat me up for it |
#8113 (181/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<q> well, not really. i don't like wearing clothes because i really just rather be baked.
<q> and by baked, and mean, naked.
<q> and by "and mean", i mean "i mean" |
#8719 (181/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window. |
#9989 (181/309) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bearsy> hehehe... you dont really NEED pants.. they're just a nice to have
<rik0> i only have them for the pockets |
#10135 (181/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card International
<CCU-Bot> Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer Industry
<CCU-Bot> Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you |
#1674 (180/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink" |
#1680 (180/358) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<timmo> if i were to take a stab in the dark as to what josh is pissed about
<timmo> i would have to say its women troubles
<josho> next time you take a stab at something, aim for your eye |
#1840 (180/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Guilty> Me: "I think I'll send a message" | ICQ: Wait wait, wouldnt you like to search the web? The white pages? The yellow pages? Want me to check your email? Your stocks? On your dog? Look someone on your list has a birthday coming up oh shit go buy them a gift here. But first check your ICQ Pager(TM) and make a few internet phone calls. Go, do it, I'll be here, moving myself to random parts of the screen so I'm never in the position you left me |
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