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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..123124125126127128129..596Next> |
#10994 (227/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend. |
#12283 (227/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac |
#16374 (227/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse. |
#28938 (227/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DreamStiller> whats the advantage of php compared to servers like geocities?
<DrDoug> Well, php is a server side scripting language and geocities is just a steaming pile of shit. |
#29524 (226/410) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wang^> man white girls go for $150 grand a head
<wang^> in saudi arabia
* wang^ thinks
<psykoz> man i need to sell my gf then
<wang^> no kidding!
<wang^> 150 grand!
<wang^> you spin me right round
<psykoz> man with 150g's i can buy me a cheapie ferrari
<amoeba> with $150K i can buy me plenty cheap hookers and export them to saudi arabia |
#30966 (227/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TriviaServ> mus.1145. Music: Name the Artist/Band that recorded this song: Get Another Boyfriend (Martin/Rami) ?
<TriviaServ> 1st Hint: ********** ****
<SpAz> backstreet boys
<TriviaServ> YES, SpAz!!! got the answer -> backstreet boys <-
<SpAz> god i cant believe i jsut got that
* SpAz shoots self in face with shotgun |
#15193 (226/432) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jenn> canada is ned flanders to usa's homer simpson.
<slurpee> hahahahahahahah
<slurpee> so true
<slurpee> "hidely-hodely, neighborino!" "shut up, canada." |
#16237 (226/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MadHack-> i net 4200
<MadHack-> whereas i gross 6,666.66
<MadHack-> give or take
<MadHack-> quite the beastly salary
<MadHack-> 666 666 :(
<MadHack-> well, .67 i guess, technically
* MadHack- saves his soul through rounding |
#18415 (220/458) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sad|Wk> :P mine is 45404 words
<Calrathan|Work> Well, send me your big .dic
<Sad|Wk> only my wife gets that |
#20790 (226/396) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Epi> anyone gots photoshop7 cd key, my net browsering skills are only lvl 36, i need lvl 40 so search for one
* JesterX gives Epi Scroll of googling +5
<JesterX> use it wisely |
#27904 (226/440) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@redfox> fuk
<@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours
<@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy! |
#27931 (226/392) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<taglin> ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to add drives?
<suds> yeh
<suds> done that
<taglin> k... whats next?
<suds> weee
<suds> hang on a sec...
<suds> need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
<suds> :)
<taglin> heh
<taglin> i think some of the problems with this crazy install could be alcohol related |
#30773 (226/392) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@johnny|aw) man, when i'm about 60 years old, i'll think back to the time when i was 20, when i could do EVERYTHING i wanted to...and i spent my time reading bash-quotes...
(@tyree) haha
(@johnny|aw) i think i should kill myself right now :) |
#31458 (226/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Signoff: Chilled_Mango (Quit: I feel like a mosquito in a nudist camp -- I don't know where to begin.) |
#122527 (226/408) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mistah_Kurtz: you think lawyers have like a numerical batting average
Mistah_Kurtz: for cases won vs lost
Mistah_Kurtz: so that other lawyers know about them
Mistah_Kurtz: they could make lawyer trading cards
Mistah_Kurtz: and it'd be worth a shitload of money if you got like a johnnie cochran law school card |
#286353 (226/336) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Liem> check this out, I was driving down my street yesterday
< Liem> a guy walking his dog flags me down
< Liem> I'm all "wtf?"
< Liem> "Hey! So you're the guy with the "uid 0" license plate!"
< Liem> "yeah, that's me."
< Liem> "So, I was laid off 2 weeks ago, is your employer hiring software engineers?"
< Coraxyn> :)
< Liem> "welcome to the party pal, I am a 5-week laid off software engineer."
< Liem> FLAGGED DOWN for a job. can you believe that?
< Coraxyn> Yes |
#301602 (226/390) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Kagami> OH FUCK STAR TREK ONLINE
<@Kagami> And it's an MMO
<@Kagami> I can't wait to roll Ensign and die in the engine room |
#40309 (226/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* brit is now known as ILIKEPLANTERSNUTS
* defaulrt is now known as PLANTERS |
#42142 (226/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jet_Solo> Did I miss anything interesting?
<Asiina> God was in here
<Asiina> everyone in here got a "get into heaven free" card
<Asiina> he told us that everyone else was screwed
<Asiina> then he left
<Asiina> it was pretty sweet |
#47468 (226/404) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CAPS-LOCK> I think I'll list a windowframe on ebay as an "Amish Webcam"Comment: #wikipedia@freenode
|
#49808 (226/422) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
rej3cter13: To all those applying to college, PLEASE do not write ANYTHING like the following in your college essay! As fun as they are to read...
rej3cter13: "The boat glided across the lake as gracefully and smoothly as a bowling ball wouldn't."
rej3cter13: "...and he realized he loved her. Every time he heard her voice he thought he heard bells, like the sound of a dump truck backing up."
rej3cter13: "She was as tall as a 6 foot 3 inch tree."
rej3cter13: I believe I made my point. |
#50332 (226/382) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> flipping through the channels i stumbled on that religion channel
<BlackDeth> and the guy is saying how now with mpeg4 digital compression they can broadcast several versions of their show simultaneously
<BlackDeth> then he went on to say how its gods plan and how mpeg came to us from god to spread his word
<BlackDeth> that was the best shit ive ever seen |
#62436 (226/408) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Omi> When I have kids
<Omi> And they say the boogie man is gonna get them
<Omi> I'll tell them not to worry, that me and the boogie man have a deal.
<Omi> He wont eat my kids as long as he gets his milk and cookies
<Omi> Then they'll think Santa is the boogie man. |
#1142 (226/422) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> "Disabling this device will cause it to stop functioning. Is this what you want?"
<BlackDeth> hah
<BlackDeth> stupid |
#1345 (226/418) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you. |
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