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#35281 (235/467) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Luigi30> I'm so l33t
<Luigi30> I overclocked my record player to 77RPM |
#29649 (235/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<km-work> none of my coworkers have done any work in four hours
<G3-Game> hahaha
<dmose> is that longer than it usually takes them to do nothing? |
#29023 (235/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Eldritch> I once said no to sex in favor of diddy kong racing since I was near to beating the game
<prez> You're a true gamer when .... |
#27201 (235/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Frosty> Theres one thing I hate about bit torrent
<Frosty> it makes my net connection seem like its a 28.8k modem dial up one
<phx\afk> heh
<phx\afk> not as bad as freenet tho
<phx\afk> that makes you think a bunch of drunken gnomes are passing your data around byte by byte
<Frosty> drunken gnome routers ey?
<phx\afk> "Och will ye check oot the header on this?" *much laughter, much drinking of beer, packet tossed enough two foot in your direction* |
#25659 (235/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes. |
#24634 (235/397) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(punct) fuck off!
(james_) I'll sue you
(punct) for?
(james_) Insulting me
(punct) you dumbass, you can say this shit on irc
(james_) Really?
(punct) hello
(james_) You're a fucking white bitch blow me!
(punct) you're learnin fast
(james_) Thanks |
#21456 (235/383) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@hugh|boredstupid> my mind was lagged
<@Andrew|busy> I hate when that happens
<@Andrew|busy> you're like "fkin reconnect. hurry up dammit- I'm probably saying something stupid" |
#19894 (236/420) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Surfdog> dood
<Surfdog> my dad was just like "you know its ok to be gay"
<Surfdog> but couldn't keep a straight face |
#17828 (235/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
<standby> i feel so cool
<standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
<standby> well i allready do but it will be easier |
#11353 (235/365) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<guyen> holy shit i'm not going to be home this weekend, i have an online exam i have to take, but i'll be in LA
<guyen> there's a wedding going on so i won't be able to exactly just do it at my relative's house
<guyen> i'm looking for cybercafes and crap, the only thing i can find is some place called Yogi's Cyber Hut
<guyen> holy fuck i can't believe i'm depending on Yogi for my midterm grade
<xan> at least he's smarter than the average bear |
#9322 (235/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops |
#9293 (235/433) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<egg> i had beer for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> egg: I had YOU for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS "EGG." AND I HAD AN EGG I AM A COMEDY GENIUS
<egg> Raz: If that were so, i'd be playing havoc with your colon
<Raz> egg: You did :[ |
#7604 (235/415) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CellY> so yesterday the gay mailman who wears daisy dukes says to me
<CellY> "You get alot of packages, you must have discoverd ebay"
<CellY> I say no I discoverd state wide drug distribution rings
<pagan> LOL
<CellY> he just siad have a nice day |
#7065 (235/384) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<skatoni> will some one please help
<shev> ya?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<shev> unplug your modem
<skatoni> how?
<shev> see those wires behind your computer?
<shev> rip'em all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer) |
#6385 (235/377) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<malp> this channel would be an argument for forced sterilization if there ever was a chance of any of you getting laid
<RunMe> malp: you keep talking as if you're NOT ON this channel |
#6277 (235/385) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Speck> being able to type doesn't mean you're a computer nerd. It just means you have a higher intelligence than a turnip |
#4382 (235/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up. |
#959 (235/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Atarax) DrConway: They also had such a poorly designed network that I set my computer's IP to the IP of their gateway and took the entire college network down |
#302081 (234/504) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Codi: You could always buy a RealDoll. Fuck her when you're horny, she just lays there and doesn't bitch about how you never put the seat down or take out the garbage, and you can just shove her in the closet when you're not stickin' it in her pooper.
Jason: wtf
Jason: I always put the seat down |
#301385 (234/454) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Emperor_Nick> I have Star Wars theme and classic Monopoly. I like building houses on the Death Star, because I imagine Darth Vader cutting the grass on the surface of the huge laser's dish.
<Emperor_Nick> A little picket fence, some roses...
<Emperor_Nick> You could really spruce the place up.
<Emperor_Nick> Turn that Death Star into a Dream Star.
<Emperor_Nick> Him and Emperor Palpatine in a civil union, adopting a wookie orphan.
<Emperor_Nick> The Jedi protesting their corruption of the sacred union between a man, a woman and The Force...
* Emperor_Nick has disturbed daydreams |
#301051 (234/412) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care. |
#299563 (234/320) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Alyssa: soo, how are we going to be awesome? i leave what we're doing up to you, cause i just sit around
Marc Truant: pshhh, anything
Marc Truant: we could watch a movie or hang at the mall. maybe chill at a house. fuck. anything!
Alyssa: okayy :D it's up to you
Marc Truant: you didnt catch that, did you?
Alyssa: ...oh |
#298043 (233/377) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
SwineFlu has joined #askreddit
SwineFlu infects mexicans
<jerrygofixit> lol
SwineFlu infects americans
<jerrygofixit> fuck |
#294895 (234/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&mezzanine> Congratulations
<&mezzanine> The document located at <whitehouse.gov> was successfully checked as XHTML 1.0 Transitional.
<&mezzanine> oh my
<&mezzanine> change has indeed come |
#150040 (234/610) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Erica: Boy name is Easton Thomas. But i got sucked into that. Lol
uuang: Did your boyfriend choose it?
Erica: Yes. He likes the first name cuz he likes basebal and It's a name brand for baseball equipment.
uuang: oh god.. im sorry thats a terrible reason to choose a name. I love mac and cheese but im not naming any kids I have Kraft. |
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