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#87102 (236/484) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pallet> oh my god
<pallet> my daughter has been missing for a whole week now
<pallet> i'm so scared, i don't know what to do
<zene> my daughter isn't missing
<zene> that makes me a better parent right?
<zealo> i'm pretty sure it does |
#62175 (236/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> omg... PDF rules.
<evilAdmin> since everyone figured out the whole blacked out text thing (which is perfectly recoverable)...
<evilAdmin> all of the office is busy putting in hidden quotes and messages at the end of work documents as thick black lines, including upper management and admin (even the CEO is busy quoting 'Gates).
<evilAdmin> Then, coworkers play with the new hires- claiming you can only read it once you print it off. Most of them fall for it, I even saw one guy saying it was a "Magic Eye" sort of thing where the black stripe dissapears and the letters pop out.
<evilAdmin> much to my dismay, his buddy was sitting there cross-eyed with the paper 8cm away from his face.
<evilAdmin> >:) |
#50658 (236/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[10:42] chad: you now your an asset to a company when they bail you out of jail. |
#42730 (236/340) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Scoth> I used a BSOD screensaver at work for awhile, but people kept rebooting my machine for me |
#30662 (236/378) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ali_> no canadian cars eh?
<Egg_> no
<Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car
<Egg_> lol
<Egg_> that would be cool if there was
<Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though
<Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose
<Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver
<Egg_> man
<Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver |
#30393 (236/450) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@kellyjo> old macdonald had a farm
<@SalvadorChicka> e i e i o
<@kellyjo> and on that farm there was a lobster
<@SalvadorChicka> e i e i o
<@kellyjo> with an <insert lobster noise> here
<@SalvadorChicka> haha |
#28849 (237/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<psypete> ooooo!
<psypete> i stepped outta my door and what do i find? a fresh spool of 100 48x CDR's :-)
* rik steps out of his door
* rik finds no spool of cds.
* rik pouts
* danamania peeks out her door too
<danamania> some leaves.
* danamania tries burning them.
<danamania> yup! 48x leaves
<rik> oh. hm. now there is a flatmate there.
* rik waves to flatmate.
* danamania burns flatmate
<rik> * flatmate flickers gently
<danamania> aww. only 2x |
#28757 (236/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mef> stupid roommate.. unplugged the router
<xcp> was there a fistfight
<mef> almost |
#21305 (236/407) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stigmata`> www.stigmata.dyns.net/images/
<Radio-> why are you scratched up
<stigmata`> well
<stigmata`> it all started when i saw a badger walking in my back yard
<stigmata`> then i thought
<stigmata`> "it'd be cool to shove it down my shirt" |
#19385 (237/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dragon_Goddess> i scanned a piece of toast
<Zack`> and you must be proud. |
#15848 (236/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos. I would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of 2x4s for autocannon rounds. |
#14608 (236/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK |
#13707 (236/352) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-MemoServ- DALnet would like to recommend that you exercise some standard password security precautions and regularly change your password(s). Please remember that it is your responsibility to remember your password(s).
<Huz> Hey, is that news post DALnet code for "We got hax0red and someone saw everyone's passwords"? :) |
#7153 (236/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bumr> maybe he makes mad love to the penguin
<dys> Perhaps Cathy wears a Tux the Penguin suit for him.
<dys> And then he "debugs her code" all night long.
<bumr> cunnilinux |
#636 (236/461) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Anagon> IT'S UP! I GOT IT UP!
<Anagon> (no, not like that) |
#228 (236/503) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard |
#308933 (235/257) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Eule> "cloud" aka "I think I'll put my files on a third-party service with unknown backup, retention, and future pricing policies, and hopefully they won't suddenly charge me too many thousands of dollars to get my own files back." |
#305734 (235/355) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sylnai> I once wrote a game for DOS which provided tactile feedback if you had your hand inside the printer |
#304619 (235/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pharazon> being a conductor is like the closest thing there is to being a wizard
<pharazon> you just wave your arms and stuff happens |
#304466 (235/315) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<unfunf> the only problem with hemp is that all the sites that support it and show what it is actually good for (and it is good for a lot of things)
<unfunf> look like shit because they are made by fucking stoners |
#70508 (236/458) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pickett> Oh man, you have to hear this joke.
<Justin> Yeah? Shoot.
<Pickett> So I was playing Dungeons and Dragons...
<Justin> ...
<Justin> Dude, the punchline is supposed to be at the end of the joke. |
#55042 (235/433) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< withnail> i feel sorry for you people with jobs. i have already spent an hour today learning how to play the music from super mario 2 on guitar |
#53339 (235/393) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BigFish> aaah fuck, I'm gonna look like a right prat for the college photos today :(
<ruster> why?
<BigFish> I've got a black eye and a bruise right on my chin
<ruster> wtf, how'd that happen!?
<BigFish> well, I was at the womens kickboxing centre in town, chatting up this girl
<ruster> hehe, the girls there are hot
<BigFish> yeah, but anyway I was talking to her and she said "I'm not some cheap whore", can't remember what I said to get that reaction :S
<BigFish> and I thought to myself "yeah, you're an expensive one"
<ruster> lol
<BigFish> turns out I was thinking aloud... O_x |
#50895 (235/449) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<funkin_dudette> gah, my internets being gay
<mellomeh> wow really? my internet is gay too!
<mellomeh> our internets should totally get married
<funkin_dudette> um no thanks
<mellomeh> so you're saying our internets should break up?
* mellomeh has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* funkin_dudette has quit IRC (*.net *.split) |
#35962 (235/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@ecks> what the fuck
<@ecks> okay, i was just outside... this bird flew down from a tree, flew like 20 feet, took a shit on my dad's thunderbird, and then flew anothe 20 feet back to the tree
<@ecks> it couldn't fucking take a shit in the tree?
<%r0bin> Would you like to shit on your sofa? |
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